OASIS, STOP TRYING. YOUR HEART'S OUT: Well, the first headliners of Glastonbury have been and gone, but the headlines this morning won't be great reading for Noel (sorry, for some reason I seem to have woken up as John Inverdale this morning.) In the Guardian yesterday morning, Alexis Petridis ran through the position they're in - they've got a solid (as in polite word for "unthinkingly blinkered") fanbase, they haven't made a decent record since, well, the first really, but that doesn't matter because they have a bunch of classics to roll out. This in itself is debatable - while Live Forever will remain, whatever happens, a classic purely on its own merits, would anyone turn up to see a show that was only going to be building, say, to Roll With It?

Emily Eavis even told Petridis that she believed the reason why Glastonbury sold out "so quickly" was because people had heard the rumour Oasis were going to be there, which suggests either her own love of "brilliant" oasis is blinkering her, or else she perhaps isn't the best person to have taking more and more responsibility for the line-up of the biggest festival of summer. We may be wrong, though, and now the Gallagher set has gone, the M4 may be full of people returning home who had no other interest in the weekend than to see two barely coherent men on the cusp of middle age knocking out some pub rock songs.

That's not to say that the Oasis people aren't dedicated - the BBC Oasis messageboard has started to clog up with cloggers stung by the Glastonbury site's description of their set as "lacklustre." Gareth in Shannon grunts for many of them:

muted preformance really!!! i watched last night at thought aquiesce was fantastic as well as every other song we saw! what do people expect....liam to be dancing on stage!!! not going to happen one of the band of my generation without doubt defined an era and paved the way for guitar led rock and roll to be cool again, granted they have slipped away recently but lets hope the new album is a classic, because genius "lives forever"

You see? Who says Oasis fans can't do snappy word play.

The NME seemed more impressed though - a triumph is the early verdict. They report Liam dedicated Stop Crying Your Heart Out to the England Team (not that they are, actually, Beckham seems quite content with their performance, and how they were only defeated by a wily hole at the penalty spot). They neglect to mention what a knob he looked: