I SAID "A FINE MAN"; SHE SAID "SO ARROGANT"

At long last, Pat Kane has got his rewards for the notorious page three story in NME about the link between sex and chocolate: the Hue and Cry singer and former journo has been named Britain's first Thinker In Residence. His residence is going to be the At Bristol Centre, and his thinking will be... well, we're sure it'll be very good, whatever form it takes. Perhaps these will be included in his thoughts:

- If I phoned ITV and offered to do Looking For Linda, would they let me on Hit Me Baby One More Time?
- How are they going to tell I've been thinking? Will they want some sort of proof before they pay me?
- Was Shattered Dreams us or Johnny Hates Jazz?
- Perhaps they're monitoring my thoughts. My god, perhaps they've got some sort of brain-reader
- I really don't think I look like Jimmy Carr, that seems to be a bit unfair
- Oooh... schoolgirls, flakes, Catholic uniforms, Mint Aeros, forbidden, black tights
- Damn... I hope they didn't hear that

Next week: Muriel Gray to be put on display in a cage at Chessington World of Adventure.

Still available:

The Best of Hue and Cry

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