IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME

Who on Earth would be so deluded as to suggest that Melanie Blatt actually preferred Jay Kay to his bassist Stuart Zender, but got pregnant by Zender anyway as he moved in too quickly for Jamiroquai? Nobody at all. Except Jay Kay.

Coming tomorrow: "I so was in with that Britney Spears, but I stopped to tie my shoelaces and... woosh, in went Federline..."

It's not clear if Mel Blatt has ever considered the thought of having Jay Kay pumping up and down on top of her like a Jack Russell in a bouncy castle, but we think this might be her reaction:

music mel blatt jay kay