ELTON TO THE RESCUE

Having spent a long time reading about how Pete Doherty might end up married to Kate Moss if only he can kick the smack, Elton John has decided it's time to help Doherty kick his fatal desire. We're not sure how he plans to wean him off Moss; maybe he'll offer him a turn with David.

No, of course, Elton wants to help Doherty abandon the drucks, and is trying everything he can think of to get Pete clean. He's even rumoured (and we suspect in this case "rumoured" means "isn't, but there you go") to be trying to persuade Bob Geldof and Harvey Goldsmith to let Doherty duet with him at Live 8.

Of course, he could also scare Doherty straight by leaving this outside his flat:



Not only would it freak him out so much he'd never touch heroin again, but he'd also have something to nibble on while going cold turkey.

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