SHE'LL BE BANGING HER CUP ON THE BARS, TOO

Apparently aware that she was going to be unable to get to a studio for the near future, Lil'Kim had recorded a single designed to settle some scores for release while she gets shown how to use the big press in the laundry room.

In Shut Up Bitch - where do they come up with these brilliantly inventive titles? - Kim denies that she's anything as terrible as a penniless drug user. Which is going to be awkward when she meets up with penniless drug users inside, who might want to ask her what's so wrong with their lifestyle of choice. She also denies that she's had plastic surgery, which some of the girls down on D-wing might also choose to investigate more closely.

There's some disquiet in New York (manily amongst the tabloids) that Kim has been given a light sentence that hardly seems appropriate for lying to a grand jury. The sentencing judge, Gerard Lynch, explained that he would have given Kim a longer stretch, but since Martha Stewart only did five months for her crime, it didn't seem entirely fair on Kim, as a "young black entertainer."

So, it really does seem US justice is getting to grips with how you treat celebrities in court cases: according to different standards to the rest of us, and with kid gloves, it transpires.

And nobody can think that's a good idea, can they?



Apart from her.

music lil kim