THERE'S A TIME AND A PLACE

Nobody would stand up for DMX using his fist instead of his wits - even although, clearly, his hands are much bigger, but if even someone was cruising towards being pulped by a rapper, it would be Berliner Oliver Osterode. (He comes from Berlin, he's not been recently redesigned. Well, actually, he has, come to think of it):

"I wanted to go to the bathroom and met DMX,” Osterode told German newspaper BZ. “I told him that I think he's cool, but Lil’ Jon is better. Then he freaked out. He slapped me in the face, and then his bodyguards attacked us."

Osterode suffered a swollen eye, bruised ribs and other lacerations, while Schmidt reportedly suffered bruises to his abdomen.

Yes, an over-reaction to the tenfold, but even so: if you've got your penis in your hand and someone comes up to you to tell you that they much prefer someone else... well, you can imagine that going down quite badly.

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