WOULD YOU BUY A USED LLAMA FROM MICHAEL JACKSON?

Not that it's a fire sale or anything, but apparently Jacko has been trying to offload his zoo animals in a hurry. The Mirror suggests he himself has been "ringing round Hollywood frantically trying to offload his neglected collection of tigers, elephants, orangutans and giraffes."

Lovely image, isn't it?

- Brring, Brring
- Good morning
- hello, am I talking to the homeowner?
- Yes...
- hi, I'm Michael and I've just got a quick survey question for you. If a washed-up kid-loving but not in a way that's been proven in court to be wrong pop star offered you a number of below cost price giraffes, would you order one, two or maybe more?
- I'm sorry?
- Or a couple of tigers?
- Who is this?

Apparently, the prices really are bargain basement. (In fact, they're so cheap, the good colonel is looking into if they could be Bargain Bucket prices - apparently elephant tastes just like chicken.)

Giraffes - were £25,000; on offer at £6,250 the pair
Tigers - were £15,000; on offer at £6,250
Elephants - were £35,000; on offer at £9,000
Crocodiles - were £5,000; on offer at £1,000
Orang-Utans - were £10,000; on offer at £2,500

Hurry, hurry, hurry - get 'em while they're tasty. The deals, that is.

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