Britney preapres to unshackle K-Fed

According to The Sun, with all that implies, Britney and Kevin have come to an an agreement about the divorce - he's going to get a ten million dollar pay off, she'll keep the kids. The ten mill represents half her earnings during the marriage plus a million bucks that's been added on top, presumably to make a nice round figure for UK headline writers. Don't you love a happy ending?

Assuming, of course, Brit can make the payments - the Daily Star reckons she's burned through "two thirds" of her £16million fortune. We've done the maths on this, and reckon she might need to call those people at Picture. The ones you can have a grown-up conversation with.

Still, it's not all grim news for Britney. Beth Ditto has offered her hand in marriage:

'Britney's new haircut makes her look like a butch dyke,' says the loud-mouthed rock chick. 'I think I'll marry her, but I'll have to do it in the UK.'

Looked like a butch dyke? Beth, she looked like Bambi trying to complete a particularly stressful task near a dangerous road full of hunters. What gay clubs do you go to?