Ray offers Cowell a mini

Apparently not realising that the X-Factor works by making Simon Cowell rich at the expense of the trilling-units that appear on it, Butlins-bound Ray Quinn is offering to "thank" Simon for the record deal by buying him a car.

He's thinking of a Mini, and although the Daily Record is tittering at the supposed slight, Quinn seems to be quite genuine:

"If I make a bit of money I'd buy him a Mini. I think a small car would be better for him than any of the big ones, so he can get around town quickly."

Yes, it'll be handy for Cowell when he pops down the Tesco Metro, won't it?

It's all rather sweet, not least Quinn's shiny-eyed belief that he's going to make so much cash he'll be able to afford to buy cars as gifts.