Robbie Williams is not ashamed to make a drama out of his crises

Robbie Williams - who've we've always suspected may be a man who is fond of musical theatre - is thinking of turning his life story into a musical. It's being pitched by the Sunday Mirror as him "going head to head with the Take That musical", but it's not quite like that. After all, Take That have disowned the musical built round their songs, and that one is ready to go, while all Robbie has is a script.

It sounds, well, like tiresome musical point-scoring:

The verses tell of a teacher who mocked a boy called Bob who "landed the popstar's job" for dreaming of stardom.

Robbie picking at old scars through music always goes well - apart from, you know, when he has to drop a track off the album after legal threats from an old manager, and that sort of thing.

But where would Williams find someone willing to take on the role of Robbie?

Robbie's best friend and former flatmate Jonathan Wilkes, 33, is in line to take the starring role in the musical which has the working title, Hello Sir.

Is it really plausible that, in order to remain in showbiz, Jonathan Wilkes would want to get into Robbie's pants night after night? And his shirt, and other pieces of costume to play the part of Mr. Williams?