Wednesday, April 04, 2007

And the last chair on the panel...

Although Sinitta seems convinced she's a done deal, that hasn't stopped The Sun insisting yet more people will be crowded onto the ever-growing judging panel on The X-Factor when it returns.

First, who could they be talking about?
"She’s sexy and she’s been in the pop business for years so she knows what she’s talking about."

Dannii Minogue! Oh, she'd be perfect, with her knowledge of the pop industry: "Yeah, you can sing OK, but without a more talented and successful sister, I'm not sure you've got what it takes."

The other seat, reckons the paper, has also been allocated:

Brian Friedman.

Go on, you know Brian.

He's a "top US choreographer", apparently; he's going to be on ITV's rip-off of How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria, where they try to find people to appear in Grease.

But the paper isn't convinced by him, either, and throws yet another name into the mix:

Billy Bush.

Apparently the first cousin of the one-man US president. The very idea that someone with so little talent, a rotten track record and no charm could get a job like that seems absurd; it's even less likely George's cousin will appear on Saturday night ITV.

We wonder if the paper is trying to just mention the names of everyone in the world before the official announcement, so that whoever it is, they can go "told you."

6 comments:

  1. Dannii Minogue is an amazing talent. It will be fantastic for the British public to see what a star she is in her own right. She's the STAR of Australia's Got Talent right now.

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  2. This sounds fun. We should all get in on this, see who guesses right, like some sort of P-list Celebrity Guess Who.

    My guesses:

    Alex Party
    Rob McElwee
    Kenny Lynch
    Living in a Box
    Martin P Daniels
    Doc Cox
    Giant Haystacks
    Adrian Juste
    Simon Parkin
    Lou Diamond Phillips
    Roger DeCourcey
    Mad Lizzie Webb
    Gary Wilmott
    Selina Scott
    Mr Bennett off of Take Hart

    If any of those get the gig, that exclusive is MINE.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anon - so, what you're basically saying is that Dannii Minogue has finally found something she's good at - sitting telling wannabes they're rubbish?

    James - Actually, you know, Kenny Lynch would be bloody good at that. But since Mr Bennett was also Vince Purity, and You Should Be So Lucky was about seventy times more entertaining than The X Factor, it's hard to see why he'd want the gig.

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  4. simon - Don't post too loudly; If Cowell gets wind of YSBSL, we'll see the next series of X Factor incorporating a board-game format, with Dermot flanked by four stage-school children in pink, quicker than you can say "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Nicky Kenickie"...

    Jimmy Cricket
    Jerry Hayes MP
    Sid Little
    Ted Rodgers
    Rodney Bewes
    Jamie Benson out of Hepburn
    Nasty Nick
    Peter Purves
    One of Girl Thing
    Karel Fialka

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ted Rogers might prove a little challenging, although since Dusty Bin is having a post-modern revival thanks to that garlic bread man, maybe Dusty could help out?

    I think Doc Cox and Doctor Fox would make a smashing double, though.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "I think Doc Cox and Doctor Fox would make a smashing double, though"

    Well, Cox does have a history of working with unusually-shaped vegetables.

    *canned laughter, polite applause*

    Back to you, Esther.

    ReplyDelete

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