Bedroom secrets of Matt Willis

For a moment, the 3AM Girls nearly got a story spot on:

PITY TV presenter Emma Griffiths who's all set to marry Matt Willis.

Well, yes, we do.

But hang on, there's more. They go and spoil it with suggesting that rather than just feeling sorry for what she's going to do, it's just a specific problem:

The otherwise lovable King of the Jungle has dared to reveal: "My sheets are disgusting and my girlfriend is always complaining about them. They're covered in everything - you name it."

Covered in everything? You want us to name it? Creme Brulee, cottage cheese, Andrew Lloyd Webber's drool, Castrol GTX, the blood of innocent virgins slaughtered by Vlad The Impaler, seven types of sperm, hairs from the back of each of McFly, the word 'help me' scrawled in magic marker, grass seed, a piece of sticky-backed plastic with a repetitive, 70s-influenced design, rhino shit, bin juice...