Noel Gallagher realises there are people worse than him

Oh, what larks. Noel Gallagher's planning to spend his 40th birthday party throwing a "tyrants and despots" party. What a chuckle - never mind that Stalin was responsible for the deaths of millions, eh; let's put on a comedy moustache and all have a laugh, eh? Ooh, I wonder who'll go as Hitler, eh? Will Liam and Andy Bell be arguing over who gets the Pol Pot costume? "I want to have more blood on my hands than you."

Of course, there's the added danger that if there's crowds of people in Nazi uniforms marching up the street, he's going to find Bryan Ferry in the garden, applauding.

Meanwhile, Noel's been talking about his famous invite to have champers with Tony Blair:

“I defy anybody to have an official fucking letter drop through the letterbox, while you’re dressed as an Afghan clown, at five in the morning, off your head on acid from going, ‘It’s from the fucking Prime Minister. He’s inviting us to his house for a drink’. ”

That's not even a full thought, is it... "I defy you to..." and what? What, Noel, what are you trying to say? You only went to Downing Street because you're a drug-addled clown? Really? Clown... stalin...what?