Victoria Newton introduces the do-it-yourself column

Even by the low standards of Bizarre, this morning's piece by Ms Newton asking for readers to do her research for her is quite something:

I NEED help understanding CHRIS MARTIN’s T-shirt.

It’s a mock-up of the Time magazine cover naming then New York mayor RUDY GIULIANI Person Of The Year 2001 — but that’s not Rudy in the pic.

It looks like a blend of TERRY WOGAN, GEORGE BEST, DIRK BENEDICT and DAVID HASSELHOFF.

People who can do her job for her are invited to send an email or phone. Newton, of course, will continue to keep the paycheque even though now she doesn't even bother to get research done in-house.

Coming next week: "Can anyone tell me something that I can put in my column?"