Dave Cameron loses his golden boy

As if things weren't bad enough for David Cameron, when his butler has ironed this morning's Daily Mirror for him he's going to find out that Adam Rickitt, the most glittering of the celebrity a-list supposed to spark interest in the Tories, isn't going to be standing for them in the next election.

Given the choice between pounding the streets on the hustings before four years in opposition, or hanging about in Shortland Street, Rickitt chose New Zealand:

"Though I will always love England, I am now smitted with NZ and the people and want to work here, live here and raise a future family here."

Adam, who has bought a house and applied for residency, added: "I'm sure I'll still do jobs in the UK but I am so happy now.

"Everybody here has time for each other."

It's amazing what a society is like if it never endured Thatcher, isn't it?

We're not sure what "smitted" means - perhaps he meant that God made good on his threat to smite him. We're also not sure what a "future family" is, but we're going to assume that he intends to try and unseat George in Jane Jetson's affections.

Still, there's some good news for Dave: David Van Day is still available.