Madonna: Could it be curtains?

Today, the Mirror runs a piece detailing Madonna's grey skin and fraility that Popbitch itself might have baulked at. The thesis is that, the more desperately Madonna tries to cling to youth, the faster it recedes, and that sleeping in a special suit might do more harm than good.

Can this bit really be true?

Friends claim Madonna's antiageing regime also includes wearing drapes to stop the sun giving her wrinkles.

Madonna goes around dressed in curtains? It's a lovely image, but... surely not.

Anyway, why does Madonna need all this exercise? Can't she merely stay young forever by drinking delicious eight-dollars-a-pop Kabbalah water?