You can take the coke-snorting popstar out of Warrington...

Earlier this week, Mark Croft told a magazine that he and his wife Kerry Katona had left Warrington to avoid people selling stories about them to the papers.

They didn't move far enough, as this morning "friend and housekeeper Louise Oortwyn" has flogged a tale of Kerry snorting coke while four months pregnant. The News of the World gives Louise a backdoor for people wondering why she didn't say anything when she watched this happen:

"Kerry's so wild I was too scared to say anything to her about what she was doing to the baby."

Louise is also the mother of Kerry's stepchild - so was acting as housekeeper to her ex, in other words - and seems to have kept excellent notes to enable her to recall how Kerry:

REVELLED in a four-day drink and drug bender just weeks before giving birth.

MOANED with pain from her caesarean stitches as she bent to snort cocaine days after having Heidi.

SNIFFED so much of the drug she collapsed in an alley, had a fit, then snorted more coke and downed ecstasy tablets.

ORDERED her confused young daughters to their rooms so she could stay up all night taking drugs.

INSISTED on topping up with cocaine between baby feeds.

CHATTED to a toy horse after getting so high that she thought it could speak.

We think that when it says "topping up with cocaine between feeds" she was topping herself up the coke, not the baby. And we're not entirely sure that telling the children to go to bed if you're staying up all night is entirely wrong, either.

Having said which, you do wonder why Oortwyn has chosen to go to the News of the World rather than Social Services. Would it be uncharitable to suggest that the Social Services don't pay as well?