Kracker pulls a deal

Uncle Kracker - Kid Rock's dj and solo artist of surprisingly little merit - has done a deal following his attack on a woman at North Carolina club. The deal keeps him out of jail, which is good news for him, if not for the rest of us.

Oddly, we're not sure how Kracker's grateful acceptance of a fine, probation and alcohol treatment squares with his squeals of innocence back when the charges were laid:

"It's regrettable that someone would make this kind of an allegation, it's not the kind of thing that I'd do, as a father of three girls ... I'm saddened that anyone might think I'm capable of this sort of thing."

Who knew that the courts no longer accepted "I am fertile" as a defence in a case?