Kerry Katona trips over both mote, beam

Now, if you're the sort of person who rushes out news of a miscarriage to the world's press, and then sends your publicist out later to tell everyone about the miracle not-miscarriage; who turns being held hostage in your own home into a nice story to sell to the papamagazines; who will happily turn a strained relationship with their own mother into cash-generating tabloid mulch, you might think twice before labeling anyone as desperate.

Not Kerry Katona, though. She's reserving her ire for Victoria Beckham, who she reckons was "desperate" because, erm, she went to a large city for a fashion shoot at the same time as something else happened in the city:

"Sometimes I find it very hard to understand Victoria Beckham. Her walking out of the Ritz Hotel in Paris was so sad and desperate.

"It looked like she tried to steal the show at the Diana inquest.

"I can't believe she walked - with her entourage - straight in front of the world's paparazzi waiting outside the hotel to see jurors retrace Diana's final footsteps!"

Yeah. You'd not get Kerry popping out of the Widnes Travelodge at the same time as the police were investigating a fire in a skip in the car park.