Gordon in the morning: Backing Cilla Black

The tricky question of who should give McCartney his lifetime achievement award at the Brits is exercising Gordon this morning. It seems Paul has offered no advice beyond asking for it to be a woman - good lord, does he never learn? - and so someone (Smart doesn't reveal who) has drawn up a shortlist of Kylie, Stella McCartney, Chrissie Hynde and Cilla Black. Smart has launched a campaign to make Black the one, but it's not clear why. Is it a joke - a la the NME's attempts to get the Laughing Gnome played on Bowie's tour? But why would it be a joke? McCartney and Black go way back, and with Sharon Osbourne MCing the event, someone who can actually present a television programme onstage might be a boon. But it's not clear that Gordon is being serious, either.

He does run through his thought process, but that doesn't really help:

Stella is a nice thought, but he can receive gifts from her every birthday and Christmas.

Kylie is a great suggestion too. She and Macca hit it off at Jools Holland’s Hootenanny.

Chrissie may just be the dark horse of the four.

My only fear is that Macca has form for falling for women at awards ceremonies after a few sherries - and Kylie’s a single lady.

I reckon Auntie Cilla should be safe on that front, though.

Does Smart know anything about Hynde? He seems to struggle with a reason to discount her, and throws her away in the middle of talking about Kylie.

It all feels a little... well, pointless. At least if he'd have come up with an alternative suggestion - Yoko, perhaps - there might have been some sort of traction for his campaigning.

Mind you, since the rest of his work this morning is built around a photo of Paris Hilton and a little person and Sarah Harding in her knickers, perhaps we should welcome his new found commitment to campaigning journalism.