Gordon in the morning: It's only 36 hours after the Oscars

Remember the 2008 Oscars? Gordon Smart's pages this morning take a nostalgic look back at the event this morning. Apparently, the most interesting interesting thing that happened was Russell Brand "pulling" Dita Von Teese. Gordon calls it pulling, anyway - although since Brand's tale involves getting her phone number and, erm, sending her a couple of texts, it's not quite a relationship of From Here To Eternity beachfront proportions.

What is astonishing, though, is the headline for the story:

Brand gets new nookie wook

Well, yes, it's almost a pun on his book title, My Booky Wook, but isn't quite as a pun has to have a second meaning. And there was no "nookie" and wook doesn't mean anything at all in this context. Had Brand bought a cabinet in which to store his Star War figures, Brand gets new Wookie nook might have worked, though.

Tilda Swinton's amusing acceptance speech delighted Gordon, too, although we're not sure it was quite the reaction she'd have hoped for:

OSCAR speech of the night goes to Brit TILDA SWINTON — for slipping in the words “buttocks” and “nipples”.

He's getting all excited and giggly because someone said nipples. Seriously, is he eight years old? And isn't Swinton's suggestion that George Clooney is a secret rubber fetishist more the point anyway?