Gordon in the morning: Kylie gives one to McCartney

Gordon Smart unveils the news this morning that Kylie Minogue will give Paul McCartney his lifetime achievement award at the Brits. He chooses not to mention his half-hearted, pointless and failed bid to get Cilla Black to present the award. Probably a little embarrassed.

Unfortunately, the Sun's Content Management System is an unforgiving bastard and reminds the world of it anyway.

In Phuket, after being too thin on Thursday, and just right on Friday, Cheryl Cole is too thin again this morning:

An onlooker said: “She looked terribly thin. It’s sad.”

All of this has confused Gordon, though. He can't decide if he's writing about someone with a serious health crisis:

The star['s] weight is feared to have fallen to 6st

or if it's all a bit of a lark:

Your chances look slim, Ashley

So, she's either at death's door, or someone to be punned around. If Gordon can't remember his line on Cole while he's putting together the page, maybe it's possible he forgot he was campaigning for Cilla to give the gift.