Robbie Williams is not dating the person he may or may not have been dating

Having spent the last six months or so wading through the "Robbie Williams is soooooo lonely" stories, it comes as something of a surprise to discover from Rav Singh's column that, erm, he's been dumped.

Singh reveals all excitedly:

POOR old ROBBIE WILLIAMS is a Rocked DJ after being dumped by the boot-iful NATASSIA SCARLET MALTHE.

The Tripping singer has been secretly dating naughty Norwegian Nat—the sexy actress lined up for the new James Bond film Quantum Of Solace—since last year.

Robbie Williams isn't a DJ, Rav, so that joke doesn't work; we're also a little surprised that Rav seems so comfortable accepting that this relationship has been churning on for a half-year without his showbiz antennae picking up on it. There's two options, though: either Williams has been seeing a woman for six months without Singh noticing, or he's just run a story about a woman who hasn't been dating Williams dumping him.

We know which we're going with.