Gordon in the morning: It's like the internet, printed out

We're not entirely sure if the latest Gordon stuff has been posted online, or we're looking at yesterday morning's "scoop", but when it's quality stuff like Ronaldo's girlfriend posting some stuff on the internet that someone appears to have read, and then passed on to Gordon, who can be sure?

Nereida, 24, used a webcam to talk to her internet “pals” — some of whom were total strangers.

Gasp! Imagine that. People who don't know each other communicating via the internet. Not, of course, like Gordon's readers - we're using that in the sense of people who look at the pictures - all of whom know him personally.

A fan who chatted with Nereida via the MSN Messenger web service said: “She was boasting they are getting married but haven’t set a date yet.

“She kept showing pictures of them together and going on about what a great wedding she is planning. She said she would make a beautiful bride.”

We're not sure of what the fan quoted is a fan - Ronaldo? Manchester United? "curvy model NEREIDA GALLARDO"? Perhaps Gordon himself. Indeed, it must be someone who knows Gordon, otherwise that would be him running a story sent to him by email from someone who was a total stranger.

Still, it's not all such high-powered investigation for Gordon. He's also looked at a photo of Victoria Beckham and identified her shoe colour. Pink, in case you were worrying.