Gordon in the morning: Boomerang Blake

Gordon and Pete are working together this morning - it would be unkind to assume that Samson's done the writing and Smart wrote the byline - as editor and deputy claim that Blake Filledof-Cocaine has failed a drugs test and will be heading back to prison (or "back to lags" as the headline has it, which presumably is meant to be a pun on Back To Black, even although it isn't). The pair claim that Blake - upon hearing the news - rushed off to try and see Amy Winehouse in hospital, while Amy's friends delight at the news:

Amy’s friend said yesterday: “She had finally started stepping up divorce proceedings again but he started phoning again and getting inside her mind.

“Now he is out of the picture again she can concentrate on getting her life on track.”

Given that while he was in prison before, Winehouse was more devoted than ever, you wouldn't necessarily put money on that.

In the interests of fairness, there's a brilliant headline in Bizarre today:

Beyonce's hirsutilicious

It's a pity it sits on top of a nasty non-piece about Beyonce's armpit hair.