Gordon in the morning: Staff party last night, Gordo?

It's the time for Christmas office parties, and that's probably the only explanation for the most lax lead ever on the Bizarre website:

Lew, what a scorcher!

I DON’T think anyone has studied this phenomenon but the more CDs LEONA LEWIS sells, the sexier she becomes.

Even in the realms of will-this-do-ism, this is lax - especially since the 'story' is that Lewis has had the fastest download of all time (something the Telegraph ran back on Thursday) and so the mention of CDs doesn't really make any sense.

I know what you're thinking: if this was the top of the page, what the hell was Smart stuffing into the lower slots?

This sort of thing:

CROONER Barry Manilow glows GREEN at a gig — like the Incredible Hulk.

The 65-year-old’s make-up turned eerie under lights at London’s O2 Arena.

A fan said: “He looked scary.”

Yes, Gordon really has run a picture of someone with a green light shining on him making him look green. Complete with a made-up quote.