Johnny Borrell and his high standards

Hey, women - do you want to hang out with Johnny Borrell?

Oh.

Well, for the sake of argument, let's say you did. It's not as easy as you might think. Oh, no no:

Borrell's brother Willy tells Britain's The Sun newspaper, "Johnny basically says, 'Go and find me a girl. But she has to be hot and have at least five GCSEs'"

This is, apparently, evidence that Borrell is not a bloated, ignorant, sexist rock cliche. Because what could be more touching than when you ask your brother to "find a girl", you make him ensure they have five GCSEs.

It's almost touching, the idea that having five GCSEs is some sort of bar for towering intellectual achievement. It's a pity Willy doesn't go into a bit more detail - does Johnny insist on maths and English as a minimum? What grades is he looking for? Does the familiarity with a GCSE syllabus give an insight into what Johnny's conversation is like - "ah, Geography, eh? Yeah... I see myself as an ox-bow lake, where the current has silted up my entrance... or... um... Willy, did you find any hot girls who had done physics? I think my kinetic energy patter works better..."