Peter Andre is releasing a cookery book of "meals for one".
Rumours that his next single will feature the sound of a fork popping through cellophane and the lonely ting of a microwave announcing the slight overcooking of a reclaimed chicken product in some sort of sauce are almost certainly going to prove to be true.
But just to clarify, this is a genuine break-up and not at all a tawdry micromanaged sham aimed at wringing out a few more products and TV series from the brand, scheduled with the cold precision of the Biggin Hill Air Show.
ReplyDeleteTwo questions spring to mind though;
1) How many recipes will he have had time to create in the tiny amount of time since their 'split'? Is this basically going to be a reprint of Delia Smith's 'One Is Fun' with a special insert detailing the recipe for 'Pete's Perfect Heated-Up-Ginster's-Steak-Slice with side-portion of Cry-and-a-Wank'?
2) Will their inevitable Christmas best-seller 'Jordan and Peter's Guide to Marriage (We Saved Ours and So Can You!)' explain that the best way to repair a break-up is to speed-dial OK! magazine every day with heavy-handed suggestions that you're having it off with someone else?
Do you suppose they had a meeting with lawyers - "no, Mr. Andre, my client is most insistent she should be the one to be seen putting it about while you stay at home sobbing."
ReplyDelete"Yes, Peter, as your lawyer I must say that does sound much more on-brand..."