Gordon in the morning: Rotten tomatoes

As John Lydon grinds through some pantomime fauxpinions on the X Factor.

By accident, Gordon is quite acute in his response:

SEX PISTOLS legend JOHN LYDON's acid tongue is as lethal as ASHLEY COLE armed with a rifle at the Chelsea training ground.

Given that Ashley Cole merely pinged a pellet off an intern, and wasn't ever going to kill anybody at all with his underpowered weapon, Smart is actually spot-on. Lydon is about as lethal as a kid with an airgun. Here, for example, is his "acid" attack on Cheryl Cole:

"There's not much going on in the head, is there?

"Although she does bring men to the TV screen because they're all thinking we'd like a lot more going on in her head. We're just fellas – we live in hope."

Devastating, right?

And on Simon Cowell?

"He's like a pony with blinkers who is slightly embarrassed about his effeminacy.

"I think he's effeminate – any man that wears tight T-shirts and plays with his nipples on TV has got a social dilemma going on.

Really, John? "Has got a social dilemma going on" doesn't actually mean anything, you might as well say "editors please complete this comment".

More disappointing is the way that Lydon thinks that effeminacy - either suspected or genuine - is somehow a bad thing and that accusing a man of being effeminate is a devastating judgement. Disappointing, but even Lydon's hackneyed belief that calling someone a sissy is acceptable fails to surprise these days.

John Lydon is trying to sell his book.