Gordon in the morning: A grown man of at least thirteen

Seriously, Gordon, have you reached puberty?

BUXOM Beyonce takes the plunge in a series of gaping suit jackets for her latest video.

Foregoing a bra, the superstar shows off her cracking cleavage in the glossy promo.

And she narrowly avoids a pair of black eyes as she performs a high tempo dance routine.

You're writing in something almost like a national newspaper and using that platform to go "hur-hur she ain't wearing no bra and her BOOBIES JIGGLE".

Elsewhere, there's a really creepy long-lens shot of Harper Beckham, which I make is about the two millionth time Gordon's column has ignored the PCC rules about not running photos of children just because they have famous parents. That self-regulation really works.