Gordon in the morning: A certain age

From all the excitement, you might imagine that One Direction are actually going to play what Gordon charmingly calls "an Old Folk's home". Except they've just vaguely said that it might be nice to do.

It hasn't stopped Gordon firing up the MS Paint, though:

It's not entirely clear why the band would turn into old men if they played such a venue.

It gives Gordon the chance to run through a few senior citizen cliches:

ONE Direction will have to lay on some louder speakers for a future gig.
[...]
The only thing he'll have to watch out for are flying mints.

I'm surprised Gordon didn't find a photo of an elderly man sitting looking all confused and lost. Here's one he could have: