Gordon in the morning: Hair appointment

It's a miracle there's anything on Bizarre today - not only because Gordon was busy explaining what a tight ship he runs over at the Leveson Enquiry yesterday, but because we now know the hours and hours and hours put into making sure all the stories are true and accurate. Who knows what lengths the Smarties went to in order to check whether the lyrics to a Jay-Z song were true, for example?

Still, some sort of kudos to the subs for sneaking a reference to Smart's day in court into an otherwise pointless bit on Wayne Rooney's ridiculous new Young James Herriot hairdo:

Looks like Rooney’s had the hairdryer treatment

Surely a reference to Gordon's evidence:

Smart says he has heard it mentioned that working for the Sun is like being centre forward for Manchester United; "if you don't score you'll get the hairdryer treatment and get dropped".