Gordon in the morning: Where is Beckham band?

A bunch of long-lens, creepy-peering over the bushes photos of small children. For most people, that would be the reason they'd never be able to take their computer to PC World for fixing; for The Sun, it's a lead story on the showbiz pages.

Still, Gordon must have an important story that makes it worth ignoring the rule about not publishing photos of kids simply because their parents are famous, right?

WE’VE had The Bee Gees, Hanson and the Jonas Brothers – now it’s time for The Beckhams.

No, it's actually just a load of made-up stuff about the Beckham kids supposedly forming a band, most of which relies on a throwaway comment from Victoria Beckham in another publication and two other bits of fluff from other Bizarre columns. (When Gordon told Justice Leveson he made sure all his stories are true, it turns out he means he cross-references with his other columns. Sometimes.)

So what is this band?

Brooklyn, who has been repeatedly strumming The Beatles’ Here Comes The Sun, plays guitar while Romeo is on drums.

Cruz, who is also mad on ballet, is the Bez of the group because he breakdances along to their efforts.

Apart from calling a child a Bez online being on a par with Facebook bullying, this is some kids hitting instruments. One of them not even hitting instruments, but dancing. At different bloody times.