Gordon has a bit of a struggle filling the page today, having to run with a story about Liam Gallagher. Although there's something almost cute about the thought of Liam Gallagher sometimes having a kickabout with his son before classes start, can it be the best the Prime Minister Of Showbiz can muster for a lead is a "man takes his kid to school" story?
We hear Ray Quinn is thinking of nipping to Morrisons later today, Gordon - you might have a 'man buys sprouts' story to lead with tomorrow.
Of course, Smart's fawning over the Spice Girls, despite the lack of anything much happening beside routines being worked through and cash being counted, means that he's got to run some sort of story about them today. And it's:
Ha! But you thought it was going to be Gordon Smart, didn't you? Ha!
He took his family to the girls’ big, bold, brash show at the O2 arena in London.
So, alongside 'bloke takes kid to school', it's 'man off telly takes family to see pop concert'.
Gordon does have some of his usual schtick, too: the vague possibility that Russell Brand might be making a Hollywood film results in a bit of lazy Rusell/Marlon Brand-o photoshoppery. And there's a thing about Dannii Minogue's breasts, too.