Showing posts with label the queen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the queen. Show all posts

Saturday, June 14, 2014

What the queen likes

We live in a strange age, where people have many different careers, but I think I'm right in saying that Cerys Matthews must be the first person to do the specific double of an FHM cover spread and an MBE.

(Although, presumably, that's trumped by Angelina Jolie's French FHM cover and an honorary damehood.)

Other musicians who will have to worry about hiring a posh includes Talvinder Singh Matharoo, who's got an OBE.

Darcus Beese, the president of Island Records, also gets an OBE for services to music, although giving an award to a major label exec for services to music is akin to giving Ronald McDonald a prize for services to cows.


Sunday, July 17, 2011

Roger Daltrey confuses U2 with socialists

Roger Daltrey has popped up again to share more of his political insights with the Daily Mail. U2, for example?

We get on to the issue of U2, who recently faced a demonstration at Glastonbury after moving their multimillion-pound company out of Ireland, depriving their suffering country of their tax revenue.

‘I find it very interesting that people who spout socialism don’t want to pay for a socialist state. Weird,’ he says. ‘It doesn’t quite add up.’
That would make some sort of sense, if U2 were socialists and Ireland was a socialist state.

Let's try something closer to home - well, to one of Daltrey's homes - shall we?
A lifelong Labour voter, he’s disgusted by the last Government. ‘I was appalled at what Labour did to the working class — mass immigration, where people were allowed to come here and undercut our working class,’ says Roger.

‘It’s fine to say everybody can come into your country, but everybody should work towards a standard of living expected by people who live here. Not come here, live 20 to a room, pay no tax, send money home and undercut every builder in London. They slaughtered the working class in this country. I hate them for it because it is always the little man who is hurt badly. It’s terrible. It frustrates me."
Apart from "paying no tax", which seems to just be an assumption on Daltrey's part, surely if people want to live in cheap digs - not 20 to a room, which is just Daltrey making himself look stupid - that's up to them?

Is he really suggesting that there should be some sort of rule forcing immigrant workers to spend the same portion of their wages as British workers? Is he going to have people who refuse to get a Sky+ HD box deported for being, in some way, "unfair"?
‘We have got to stop pandering to people because we won’t be able to afford to keep this going. At the very least, it should be a pre-requisite that people have to learn English."
Why? Daltrey spends a lot of time in America - has he learned much Spanish?

He's fuming about the very idea of people getting something for nothing:
‘What really made me angry about that period is not that people shouldn’t come here — that’s fine — but you have to make allowances for the strain that is going to put on your social services and they made none.

‘Talk about sticking their head up their a***. The arrogance, the audacity. They don’t realise how hard the average man has to work to get that and to pay those taxes.’
It's not entirely clear who has their heads up their arses. Apart from Daltrey, of course.

So, Daltrey believes that people should only get what they have on merit, not as if by some divine right. Right?
And at the other end of the spectrum, there is his adoration of the Queen, who presented him with a CBE six years ago. ‘She’s amazing,’ he gushes. ‘She talks with her eyes. She has a twinkle in them — wow — she’s so special. I think she’s so wonderful and we, as a country should be so proud of her. It’s a dreadful position to be in; she can never be free. But her dedication to duty has been amazing.’
Oh, get a room, Roger. Probably at the State's expense. Does he Roger not realise how hard people work to pay the taxes that support the Royal lifestyle?


Monday, July 05, 2010

Everyone's happy about 6Music. Except the Tories

It's brilliant news about 6Music, isn't it? Don't you agree, Tim Montgomerie?

Oh. Apparently not:

Disgraceful that 6 Music has been saved. When will the BBC share in the pain?

Some people suggest that Montgomerie's website, ConservativeHome, is the paid-for pipe-hole through which Lord Ashcroft pipes his thoughts. That would, of course, be confusing ConservativeHome with David Cameron.

Montgomerie's sour little moan that something which a million people enjoy is going to carry on shows a lack of any grasp of the detail here - if 6Music continues, the nine million quid which would otherwise have been saved will have to come from somewhere else in the Corporation budget - it's not like closing 6Music would mean the BBC giving back a few quid to licence fee payers.

Just wanting a network to shut because you believe the BBC should be hurt is, well, the sort of nasty, spiteful reaction that will be familiar to anyone who remembers the last Conservative government.

The BBC didn't screw up the economy. 6Music listeners didn't screw up the economy - maybe there might be the odd investment banker amongst them, but generally. George Osborne might be pursuing an ideological series of deep cuts to the State, but just because he's dead set on making the nation a more miserable place doesn't mean the BBC has to follow suit.

Still, it's not like Montgomerie doesn't know a thing or two about value for money, as a little later on he tweets:
At 62p per person per year, the Queen is excellent value for taxpayers' money http://is.gd/dg1Uk

6Music costs 17p per person per year, helps generate income for the UK creative industries, cross-subsidises bands and artists and entertains a million people a week. More importantly, it doesn't have numerous other forms of income, own large swathes of the country or require extra inputs of support in the form of police protection when it goes out. I'd argue that 6Music is excellent value for your licence pence.

But then, I'm not trying to hurt the BBC.


Saturday, February 13, 2010

Staus Quo: Establishment chaps

It's not actually news that Status Quo are ardent royalists and tend to fawn when they stand down wind from anything from a Duchess upwards. But seldom has Francis Rossi been quite so explicit about it:

Rossi, dressed in a dark pinstriped suit, said: ''This is the most exceptional moment of our careers. There's no two ways about it.

''Live Aid was contrastingly very different and important and there was a great euphoric feeling on the day but nothing can make you forget this.

''It's part of the establishment which is everything that's been around us since we were little and it's something to aspire to.

''Whether you're a royalist or not you cannot take away what the Queen and the Royal Family do for us.''

... before knuckling his forelock and walking backwards in a half-crouch.

I suppose it's true. Even if you're not a royalist, you can't escape the millions wasted on keeping one family in total luxury and undermining the whole principle of democracy by having government carried on in the name of the monarch instead of the people. I expect that's what Rossi meant.

There's something a little odd in the Telegraph's piece:
Status Quo launched the first Prince's Trust concert in 1982 and three years later they opened the original Live Aid concert with Rockin' All Over The World.

The original Live Aid concert? How many have there been since, then?


Saturday, December 12, 2009

Queen refuses to be penpals with Pink

Pink has been writing some letters. But not getting anywhere with them:

She told Q magazine: "I wrote to him to protest about fox hunting and I figured he would be this stuffy, privileged a**hole. But he's like a redneck from the south.

"If you're brought up shooting and hunting animals, if you really think it's second nature and you're blasting away then it's hard to see the other point of view. You need educating."

It's nice to show an interest - although, frankly, you might want to concentrate more on the other animals which William legally blasts to death for a laugh.

The Queen? The Queen's no better:
She once penned a letter to William's grandmother Queen Elizabeth about the use of bear skin hats on her guards and was disappointed not to receive a response.

She revealed: "To be truthful I was really surprised I didn't get a reply to that one. I wasn't just writing in and complaining, and it certainly was not a publicity stunt.

"I actually proposed a plan. Stella McCartney had designed theses replacement hats for the guards using fake fur. I felt we were solving the problem for her and offering a viable solution. But she never wrote back. Maybe she doesn't have any of my stuff on her iPod."

Perhaps she doesn't have your stuff on her iPod. Or maybe she got a letter saying "Hey, Stella McCartney has designed some cruelty-free bearskins - wanna see?" and put it quietly to one side.


Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Gordon in the morning: Lee Cain goes to the Royal Variety

There's two schools of thought about Lady GaGa playing the Royal Variety Performance - one is that it's somehow a subversive gesture, sneaking the counterculture right into Her Majesty's face; the other is that it marks the GaGa tipping point where she has completed the journey from apparent edgy outsider to mainstream light entertainer.

Put it this way: You're not going to see Frank Carson introduce Peaches to Prince Philip, no matter how much you'd like to.

Still, Lee Cain dutifully covers the story like it's some sort of cultureclash. But somewhat oddly:

OUTRAGEOUS LADY GAGA wins the Queen's seal of approval last night as she curtsies for her at the Royal Variety Performance.

In other words, the Queen met her in a line-up. Did Lee really think there was a chance Elizabeth would say "Frankly, Poker Face has been over-exposed and you'd never get Peaches meeting me"?
The Poker Face star, 23, was sporting a red PVC suit and 20ft cloak topped with a regal Elizabethan-style ruff.

It was baggy, Lee. Even if you've never worn fetish clothing yourself, surely you know that catsuits are skintight?
GaGa greeted the crowd by saying: "Good evening Blackpool. Let me hear you rattle your jewellery."

Strangely, there's no explanation of this comment, leaving the delicious question of if Smart and his team just assumed that their readership would get the reference (not the usual Bizarre behaviour, where every utterance is explained in flash-card simple terms) or if they just didn't get it themselves.

Just one point: If GaGa was truly edgy, she'd not have done the jewelery schtick; she'd have come on with a reference to never having played such an ornate garage.


Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Lennon's MBE "found"

It's not actually clear in what sense it was ever lost, but the Telegraph is reporting that John Lennon's MBE has been found, with the inevitable demands that it be taken to Liverpool:

Liverpool Beatles Appreciation Society founder Gene Grimes said: "The Palace are sitting on a unique piece of Beatles history and it should not be left to gather dust in a draw.

"The medal is a vital piece of Beatles memorabilia and should be exhibited for John's fans to see."

Um... why, exactly? Lennon returned the medal because he didn't want anything to do with it, so why on earth should it be given back to him posthumously? And even if it hadn't been returned, since when did the logic run that it must be put into some sort of Beatles museum "for John's fans to see"? Thank god the Liverpool sewage treatment works don't hold on to stuff for decades.


Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Plant Pine, Queen told

Amongst those getting the chance to mumble "of course, it would be rude to turn down such an honour" in this year's prizes from the Queen for doing a job you're already well-paid for: Robert Plant, John Martyn and Courtney Pine.

Martyn scores an OBE, Plant and Pine get CBEs. Nobody is quite clear why there'd be a difference, but clearly there is, as there's nothing in any way random about the way these things are decided.


Monday, February 18, 2008

E to ER

Apparently, E from Eels wrote a letter to the Queen attempting to promote his gig ("inviting her to his gig"):

My name is Mark Oliver Everett. My friends call me "E". I am the singer in an American rock band called Eels. We will be playing a show at your Royal Festival Hall on the evening of February 25th and I would like to extend an invitation for you to attend our performance. We have played the Festival Hall several times and I've noticed that your royal box is usually empty. I'd like to change that. We have also played your Queen Elizabeth and Royal Albert Halls. I don't think you were at those shows either.

I recently saw the movie ‘The Queen’ and while I know that wasn't actually you in the film, it made me think that I would like you as a person. I'd like you to be one of the people who call me “E”. If you're free February 25th, please come down to the show. It's sold out, but I would be happy to put you on the guest list. I also have a new book, ‘Things The Grandchildren Should Know’, and two new compact disc and DVD collections, ‘Meet The Eels’ and ‘Useless Trinkets’. I think you'd enjoy them and I'd be happy to give you complimentary copies of each, which I will even sign for you after the show.

If you're busy, I understand. But if you can free up your calendar, we'd love to see you there. Thank you for your time, Your Majesty.

She's not going - she'd already got tickets for Naomi Hates Humans at the Old Queen's Head in Islington that night.


Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Tantamount to treason

Good lord, doesn't the Queen deserve a bit of a break? Don't get me wrong, I'm as Republican as can be, but even compared to what happened to the Romanovs the Royal Variety line-up this year seems a little harsh. Liz and Phil are going to have to sit through Enrique Inglesias, Bon Jovi and James Blunt. Who put that lot together? Al-Fayed?


Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Rodger wants to pull with Queen

There's little to be said about the prospect of Paul Rodgers planning to record a song about meditation with Queen, apart from the warning the story gives to ContactMusic about automatically assigning images to a newstory:


Saturday, September 15, 2007

Ricky Gervias and the first rule of comedy

Former new romantic popstar Ricky Gervais has been entertaining his famous chums again, reports The Sun:

PRINCES William and Harry sneaked into Ricky Gervais’ stand-up show — and roared with laughter at a joke about their gran WEEING.

Office star Gervais, 46, poked fun at the Queen’s toilet habits, despite knowing the two fun-loving royals were in the audience.

It's heartwarming to hear that Gervais' act has now caught up with that of younger comedians and, in particular, Ted Bovis' "famous people on the toilet routine" that always went down so well at Maplins.


Saturday, June 16, 2007

Medals for all

It's the Queen's summer birthday, and so she's ladled out a bunch of honours, including a CBE for Michael Eavis who certainly deserves it for the work he's done for Glastonbury over the years. I do give the festival quite a hard time (a hard time we feel is equally deserved), and do feel it's a shame that the festival has shifted so far from its early ideals that the question 'should the man who organises Glastonbury be accepting an award from the establishment' would probably just get me looked at in a funny way. You do wonder if the event was still giving cash to CND he'd have accepted an award from a government hell-bent on replacing Trident so soon after showering depleted uranium down on the heads of Iraqi civilians, mind.

Also getting letters from the Queen have been:

Joe Cocker, who gets an OBE and a visit to the Palace sometime this year where, after an awkward pause, he'll have to say "No, Ma'am, I was A Little Help From My Friends, not Common People";

Emma Kirkby, classical soprano, who is now a Dame;

Barrie Humphries, who has released more than one single as Dame Edna - most recently, we seem to remember, The Theme From Neighbours - becomes a CBE;

Ian Botham - now Sir Ian - was part of the bizarre BeeGees related cricketing rabbit troupe The Bunburys, whose debut record, We Are The Bunburys is still, we understand, awaiting a follow-up.

Bill Pertwee, who's got an MBE, we're sure also once made a record (not counting the releases of Round The Horne and Dad's Army) - or did we just imagine that?

Noel Gallagher might be a little upset to be overlooked, but remember - there's going to be another slew of honours in a couple of week when Blair compiles his Lavender List, so there's still a chance, Noelie.


Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Yoko Ono has a slice of dog

Yoko Ono has reportedly enjoyed a freshly cooked slice of corgi, apparently as the other menu option was a pair of Linda McCartney's cutlets. Oh, actually, it was as a guest of Mark McGowan, who was eating the dog as part of a protest against the royal family. It's not sure what Ono's motivation was - surely she can't have anything against people who get incredibly rich as a result of a wise marriage or an accident of birth, can she?

McGowan's dog wasn't specially killed for the event, but had died at a corgi breeding farm; there's no actual law against eating dogs which happen to be dead already. The motivation was ill-treatment of a fox killed on the Queen's land; it's not yet known when he intends to take the next step and eat Otis Ferry.

[UPDATE: Despite TMZ's assurances that Ono was present at the dog-eating, it turns out that she wasn't anywhere near the corgi-eating; she was in Moscow at the time. Source: The Guardian]