Thursday, June 02, 2005


Let's try and ignore the attempts her stylists seem to be making to try and invent a softer, gentler Angelina Jolie - which is a little like trying to promote white-water rafting as a spot of gentle exercise - and instead focus on the main news in the Daily Star, which has a shot of Michael Jackson's future bedroom:

"Jacko's cell - Jail, even if he's cleared", trumpets the paper confusingly. And wrongly, actually, as it what the story actually suggests is that he might get off with getting off with kids business, but the charge of giving alcohol to a minor could well stick. So, it's Jacksons cell (if they send him to that prison, and they put him into that cell) even if he's cleared (of everything apart from the some of the charges).

The Daily Express, faced with the not-that-unusual prospect of a bloke in his 60s becoming a Dad, has a crisis of faith: nobody wants to see a wrinkled old picture of Rod Stewart. Then they have an idea - why not have a picture of the mother, instead? "Peggy" they tell us "is a leggy legend" - it doesn't explain why: could it be because she has repeated sex with someone old enough to be an Express reader?

Elsewhere, the Live 8 gig is still getting everyone excited - the Daily Mail manages to give the awareness-raiser a huge chunk of the front page without mentioning debt, poverty, or even Live 8:

... it also suggests that "all proceeds [from the text messages] go to the Princes Trust", although as the BBC News Online piece reported yesterday, that isn't actually true, as anything over the first GBP1.6million is going to the costs of putting the event on. And the news that nearly one-in-ten of the people at the gig are going to be Daily Mail readers makes doing something else that day seem even more attractive.

Meanwhile, Bob's call for everyone to march on the G8 is causing ripples of panic:

The Guardian reports "safety fears" - which could just be a desperate way of the authorities of trying to stop people turning up ("fighting poverty is all well and good, but what if someone loses an eye?"); although we're not sure how that fits with the counter-theory that Geldof is organising this mild protest (which is essentially accepting the legitimacy of the G8 and its methods) to help the establishment drown out the more traditional anti-capitalist protests (which reject the G8's very existence).

For a steer on this, we turn to the Morning Star:

"G8 Organisers Running Scared - Establishment panicked by Geldof's call" says the paper. Ah, so it is anti-establishment, then.