Wednesday, March 08, 2006


You think that Britney Spears is at least 33% sex? You better watch out, she'll be coming for your ass, with a team of highly paid lawyers. In her lawsuit against Us magazine, Britney has made it clear that any suggestion she is sexy could harm her career:

I have been informed that the editors of Us Weekly and their lawyers are claiming that the Article would not be damaging to my career or reputation, because I joked about my sex life with my husband on our recent reality television show, Chaotic, and because I have a “highly sexualized public persona.” They are wrong. While I have written and sung certain lyrics about sex and have posted for “sexy” photographs to promote my albums and career, this is certainly not unusual in the musical business and is different than being falsely portrayed as someone who filmed herself and her husband having sex, and then recklessly left the tape in a place where someone from their “entourage” could find and attempt to sell it.

Well... we see that she has a point that just because you dance around naked except for jewels and snog the face off Madonna at an awards show doesn't make it follow that you'd not be able to successfully keep track of what you'd done with a sex tape.

If we'd been Britney, we'd have tried feigning outrage that we'd be stupid enough to make a permanent record of allowing Federline to put his penis anywhere near us. Instead - yes - Britney wants us to think of the children:

Because many of my fans are young women and teenagers, it is important to me, both personally and professionally, that they see me as I am, namely, a married woman who is enjoying her life with her husband and baby. It is very damaging to my career and reputation to be portrayed as someone who would film herself and her husband having sex for the purpose of watching it over and over again, or for any other reason….

If we can get past the idea that it's Kevin Federline she's talking about here, what's especially puzzling is the horror she's pretending to feel at the very idea that people might film themselves having sex. Her reaction would be more in line with, say, the suggestion that she shags meerkats in petting zoos during daylight hours or something. Why, Britney, shouldn't a "married woman enjoying life with her husband" not do a little candid footage in the bedroom?

And damaging to the career? If it could survive that video where Madonna came on to her like Miss Marple on poppers, it surely had to be robust enough to withstand that?