Gordon in the morning: The end of the Spice affair

And this would be the official end of the Spice Girls reunion: The Sun has called an end to the fawning. Even Gordon - who a couple weeks back was still full-on-fawning - has decided he no longer needs to treat the band with kid gloves any more. Indeed, the discovery of a tongue-in-cheek remake of Oleta Adam's Get Here (only with 'fuck' rather than 'get') allows him to reopen the paper's hostilities with Mel B:

I’ve said before that Scary Spice is indistinguishable from her foul-mouthed Bo’ Selecta! character — and those lyrics have those fat fingers all over them.

Charming.

Gordon, it turns out, has always hated the way the Spice Girls are just so rude:

They’d better just hope it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands. Not that these girls seem to give a XXXX these days.

Their tour tested the definition of a family show.

Yes - like, erm, when you were sat chuckling while they did gags about your cock onstage, you mean, Gordon?

Thank God we can rely on Gordon to keep up standards of family entertainment, panting over Penny Lancaster not wearing a bra and Britney Spears wearing a bra. It's hard to imagine where the Spice Girls get it from, isn't it?