Gordon in the morning: Scrappy Dappy do

N-Dubz have got themselves in more bother:

JUST days after I warned N-DUBZ to keep their wits about them, DAPPY is involved in a "code red".

Isn't asking N-Dubz to keep their wits about them a bit like asking McDonalds to ready their best chefs?

It turns out this 'code red' is a bit of a scuffle in Manchester. It's headlined "Dappy Knife Scare", but the detail is slightly less clear:

A group of guys approached the bobble hat-wearing star and began shouting and pushing him around.

Within seconds the situation turned really sinister.

An eye-witness said: "A bloke waltzed straight up to Dappy and started going off in his face.

"It all happened so quickly. There was a huge fight. The main guy had a knife."

That's bad, of course, but it's interestingly phrased - "the main guy had a knife" is not quite "... which he was waving around" or "...and threatened to make Dappy silly string."

Gordon Smart is so shocked by all this that he turns into a Daily Mail leader:

It's a shame I know, but that's the way it is.

Still, there's no situation so terrible that the atmosphere can't be lightened with a pun:

A source added: "The scrap was an eye-opener for them."

I bet.

It could have ended up being an eye-out for Dappy.

How lucky that the "source" said "eye-opener" rather than, say, "a wake-up call", otherwise Smart would have been flapping: "it could have been... erm, goodnight forever... look, could you say it was an eye-opener?"

[UPDATE: the Mirror has the same story, except far from having a knife, the bloke was carrying a bottle. "Menacingly", reckons the Mirror, but there's no sign of a knife.]