Gordon in the morning: Journalism, look away now

Sometimes, you have to wish that Gordon would stick to just printing the photos of people in their skimpies. That way, at least, we'd be spared this sort of thing, where Gordon peers at a photo of Kate Moss trying to divine if there's a pregnancy:

For a supermodel there is a bit of a pot, but that could just be Christmas overindulgence.

It certainly hasn't stopped her smoking if she does have a bun in the oven.

"A bit of a pot"? Really?

Of course, Gordon wouldn't just build this story on a single photo of a woman, so he attempts to construct some context in which his musings might make sense:

According to hotel staff in Phuket - where she and partner JAMIE HINCE are on a "wellbeing" holiday - she has been talking about pregnancy.

There's an obvious language barrier so she was probably just asking if they had any more Babycham.

Yes, that's an elaborately constructed joke right there. Or an attempt at one, anyway. I say 'joke' - there's an obvious language barrier, so Gordon was probably just trying to think through the possibilities.