Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Chris Brown improves Twitter by around 17,986%

Yes, Chris Brown has left Twitter in order to spend more time with his unfocused rage issues.

Although 'not having Chris Brown on it' has improved Twitter by a massive leap - they're currently using the strapline 'Sign up - it's okay, Chris Brown has gone' on the homepage - Brown did take the approach of a disgruntled student tenant and had a crap in the middle of the carpet before he left.

You'll have read elsewhere about his torrent of tweets aimed at Jenny Johnson, triggered by her refusing to pretend that Brown is some sort of god. But in case you haven't, or are reading this in four year's time, here's a flavour of what America's greatest living poet came up with:

"take them teeth out when u Sucking my dick HOE."
"I should fart while ur giving me top."
"mom says hello... She told me not to shart in ur mouth, wanted me to shit right on the retina."
That last one is especially puzzling - the retina is inside the eye; and even if it wasn't, does Chris Brown poop out tiny little shits that he can control with laser-guided accuracy?

The obsession with crapping in Brown's tweetage is probably appropriate; culturally, he is about as significant as one of those cows who plop in a grid-marked field in games of cowpat bingo.

It looks like a responsible adult chose to intervene, though, as Brown then deleted his account. The kicker, though?
Before shutting down the account, Brown told his fans that the exchange proved "how immature society is."
Quick FYI, Chris: If you've climbed to the top just to shit in a stranger's face, it probably isn't the moral high ground any more.