No Rock And Roll Fun

WHILE MY GUITAR GENTLY REAPS: From deep within the more-money-than-sense department, somebody has splashed out half a million bucks for Geo...

YOU CAN MEASURE THE SUCCESS OF CAREER BY MULTIPLYING THE DISTANCE BETWEEN A CELEB AND THEIR DIGNITY BY 4.7: Justin Timberlake dresses up as...

CASH CRISIS: While it must be all very upsetting for "an intruder" to break in to your house uninvited and without being asked an...

HOOBATSTANK YANK: Another one for the rock sick list, as we excitedly await the first gig to be cancelled due to avian flu. Hoobastank have...

WE DON'T KNOW WHO'S DOING HIS PR, BUT... THEY'RE NEVER GOING TO WORK AGAIN, ARE THEY?: The most positive thing we can think of ...

EYES IN THE UK: The soft, lovely fingers of Conor Oberst will be dancing over the doorkeys of UK hotel rooms in the new year as Bright Eyes...

POLLY GONE?: We'd be a little more distraught over the news that PJ Harvey announced Polly's retirement from live music last night ...

RECORD COMPANIES TRY TO CUT OFF RED CROSS FUNDS: While the soft, squishy warm face of the music industry hunkers down to do some good festi...

THANK YOU, DROWNED IN SOUND: We'd just like to thank the team at Drowned In Sound who have given us the title of Blog of the Year in th...

WE'RE PROBABLY COMING A LITTLE LATE TO THIS ONE: As Pete Doherty leaves a small trail of muss in his wake, Babyshambles got themselves ...

NOTHING AT ALL CREEPY HERE, THEN: Yesterday, you'll recall, Joe Simpson was getting Ashlee's first movie role re-written because he...

OH... SO THAT'S A SCOFFLAW: And he's not been convicted of any crime, so why shouldn't Michael Jackson throw open Neverland fo...

IN OTHER NEWS: POLICEMEN LOOKING YOUNGER; WEATHER FORECASTS 'UNRELIABLE': Poor, poor Christina Aguilera. She says that she has to s...

WANT CHEAP CDS? GET BERGERAC TO BUY THEM FOR YOU: Continuing the push to try and make CD prices match up to the actual value of what you...

PARTNERDAVIDFURNISH TO NOT BE HUSBANDDAVIDFURNISH UNTIL IT'S LEGAL: Elton John's partnerdavidfurnish has sniffily spat back at rumo...

ON THE OTHER HAND, IT DOES MEAN HE WON'T HAVE TO BUY A COPY OF THE BLOODY SINGLE: If you set aside the ethical and political complicati...

GEE, THANKS, MOM: You've had a son who has been a bit wayward in the past, but has started to get it together again, talking to his inv...

JIB JAB: Well, that's going to make it difficult to find crew to work on the Motley Crue reunion tour - and possibly the Crue themselve...

LET'S ALL HOPE THIS ISN'T GOT TO BE A SURPRISE STOCKING STUFFER FOR ANYONE WE LOVE: If you were a taxi driver, and discovered that ...

REMEMBER: IT WOULD JUST BE FOR THE TWO DAYS: We always assumed when Robbie Williams fancied a "relationship" with a lady he just ...

THE PRICE OF ELVIS: We're a little surprised that Lisa Marie has flogged off an 85% share of the Presley estate for just fifty-one mill...

ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM: Having coughed to a driving while off his box on drugs charge last week, DMX seems to have got a little confused and seemed...

... LIKE THE BACK END OF A BUS: Apparently, there was nothing more to Whitney Houston driving her car straight into the back of a bus than...

DUO INJURED IN PANTO-DISASTER: Slightly-disturbing double act the Krankees* have been hospitalised following an incident at a Glasgow theat...

ADD TO THE 'BINGO HAND JOB' LIST: What's nice about Franz Ferdinand's secret Stoke Newington gig is they've revived th...

RATHERLARGESHAMBLES: So, last week's NME featured Drugscope's Natasha Vromen insisting that "[Pete Doherty is] a successful mu...

THANKS FOR THAT GREAT IDEA, MADONNA: Madonna has stuck a plea on her website for all her fans to pray for peace in 2005. Apparently this i...

OF COURSE, NOBODY WOULD BELIEVE SHE WAS ACTING: Overprotective golden-egg farmer Joe Simpson has forced the makers of Wannabe to rewrite th...

HASN'T POP SUFFERED ENOUGH: There's not really anything very surprising in that Coleen McLoughlin wants to be a popstar - every you...

YOU COULD HAVE JUST PRETENDED YOU FORGOT, OZZY: Oh, that awkward problem: you're a self-respecting Prince of Darkness, and yet you'...