Swans return, attempt to self-finance return

Swans have been apart for over a decade, but are just about to re-emerge, like phoenixes. Only using MySpace instead of fire, and looking for a bit of help from their fanbase:

The song “Jim” recently added to the playlist is an acoustic demo (solo at home) recording by michael gira. this, and many other new songs recorded in the same way comprise many of the new (rough versions) of songs under consideration, to be fleshed out on the coming new swans album. a cd of these acoustic versions, as well as a live (2 shows) dvd of m.gira will be for sale very soon as a hand made (by gira) package called I Am Not Insane (CD/DVD). this package – in a limited edition of 1000 - will be sold in order to raise money for the swans recordings/offset the huge costs involved.

They've not yet announced how you can give them money, but keep an eye on their MySpace.

BPI decides to try directly writing laws

Seemingly forgetting its position as little more than a trades group, the BPI has taken it upon itself to start drafting UK legislation.

Surprisingly, they've gone with something designed to tighten up planning legislation in areas near, but not part of, national parks with regard to buildings of more than three stories.

No, no, they haven't. It's an attempt to sneak DCMA style rules in through the backdoor. Just being helpful, you understand:

“Clause 17 [of the Digital Britain bill] is an essential component of the Bill since it provides a mechanism to deal with the increasing threat of illegal downloading from non-P2P sources and other future threats. In light of the ongoing debate on the current draft of Clause 17, we thought it prudent to propose possible alternative approaches, including a straw-man s.97B. However, Clause 17 remains our favoured approach to address forms of online infringement other than P2P filesharing.”

Aha. "Son, I'm delighted that you're thinking about marrying Mary. Mary is my first choice for a daughter-in-law. However, you're wavering, and so - while I really, really want you to marry Mary - I've set you up on a series of blind-dates with all of the Sugababes. Just, you know, to help you make up your mind."

The proposal from the BPI would shift responsibility for policing rights from the people who benefit from the rights to the publisher. You know, like in the way the BPI are trying to shift the costs of policing peer-to-peer material from themselves to the ISPs.

If you drive a taxi, I'd advise you never to pick up a fare from the BPI - you'll arrive at your destination only to be told that you should underwrite the cost of the journey, being as how you've arrived at the location first.

Penk flaps about Chris Evans

Steve Penk is the man bought and broke/fixed Oldham's 96.2 The Revolution, depending on if you think this sort of playlist offers variety and choice or not. (Note the 'wacky' pictures on the playlist replacing some of the artists, by the way. Hilarity in shoes.)

Now Penk is moaning to the BBC Trust about what he sees as "excessive" coverage of Chris Evans' debut on breakfasts at Radio 2:

In a statement from The Revolution he says of his decision to write to the Trust: "Under the BBC’s Charter, the Trust is required to have regard to the competitive impact of the BBC's activities on the wider market. The Trust has adopted a Statement of Policy on this.

"Last weekend’s unashamed promotion of the new Radio 2 Breakfast Show flies in the face of the BBC’s own cross-promotion codes.

"In developing its code, the BBC Trust made reference to Ofcom's Cross Promotion Code and also Chapter 10 of Ofcom's Broadcasting Code (Ofcom's Codes).

"Ofcom's Codes outline principles for ensuring that cross-promotions on television are distinct from advertising and that promotions on television, including cross-promotions, do not prejudice fair and effective competition”.

He also noted that he saw the 'placement' of Evans on various BBC shows - including Friday Night with Jonathan Ross, The One Show “and, bizarrely”, according to him, the Sunday morning political programme The Andrew Marr Show - as unacceptable.

“I was half expecting to see him on Songs of Praise.”

Hahahahahahaha. Songs Of Praise. You kidder, Penk. You should be on the radio, you really should.

Man with new programme appears on some shows doing an interview: is that really so odd, Penk? Given that every national media outlet in the country thought that the changing of the guard at Europe's most popular radio programme was worth covering as a news story, is this really something that surprises you?

Interesting that you didn't get upset about the amount of Tenant on the telly around the Christmas Doctor Who. Almost as if you don't really give a hoot about the principle, except when it might lure one or two listeners away from your own programme.

Penk's apparent lack of understanding of what he's talking about is revealed by his description of Evans appearing on Andrew Marr's programme as "bizarre" - yes, how could someone involved in light entertainment be on a programme sharing screen time with, erm, Maureen Lipman? Marr's programme has always had the greasepaint and popcorn crowd nudging alongside the politicians.

Still, Songs Of Praise with a radio DJ on it? That's a crazy idea, right? (Although, actually, if Penk had watched this week's programme, he'd have seen Richard Coles, former presenter of Radio 5's Fabulous, doing the honours. You couldn't make it up, could you, Penky?)

Courtney: Hands off, it's my Hole

Courtney Love isn't bothered that the rest of Hole are objecting to her using the band name on her new project:

"It is Hole, yes of course," she said. "How do I do this? It is just because it is, and it is because we just negotiated our thing and it'll be fine. Everyone has good lawyers."

Let's hope those aren't the same good lawyers who dealt with licensing Kurt Cobain to Activision. Or have been in any way associated with Courtney's finances over the years. Or taking care of the issues over who has custody of Frances Bean.

Darkness at 3AM: It was all a dream

It's sometimes said that there's nothing worse than a friend trying to tell you their dreams. Those who believe this are wrong, though. They clearly haven't come across the Daily Mirror telling you about Martine McCutcheon's dreams:

Martine McCutcheon has been spooked by a nightmare. The Ex-EastEnder said: "Tarantulas have taken over the world. They were up the walls, on the stairs and attacking me with their black and orange legs and claws."

How would this even end up in a newspaper? Did Martine wake up and call the 3AM team straight away? Was the Mirror desperately trying to get Martine to say something they could put in the paper and this was the best they could manage?

And then Hugh Cudlip woke up, and had all been a terrible dream...

Gordon in the morning: Kings Of Leon duller than we thought

Oh, prepare yourself for Gordon created mirth:

WHEN I heard KINGS OF LEON were struggling to get off the green, I thought they'd been at the recreational drugs again.

But the ex Tennessee caners have put back recent studio sessions because of a far more sensible addiction - golf.

Oh, yes. Golf. That's a sensible addiction. You can't over-stress how sensible golf is.

Gordon then goes on to churn out exactly what you'd expect - references to Tiger Woods, puns on swinging, "birdies", and a self-satisfied ending:

Fine wine, golf, urinating on posh fairways? The boys would have fitted in perfectly at the Bizarre Masters last summer.

Yes. That sounded dull, too, as I recall. Although given that the Bizarre golf thing was won by a mate of a indie band, perhaps their actually being famous might have made them stand out a bit.

Elsewhere, Gordon tries to find something to say about David Beckham's latest tattoo. (Yesterday, you'll recall, we met Beckham's latest tattoo, depicting a man who is permanently confused and desperately trying to make a mess look better by expanding the spread of the mess.)

DAVID BECKHAM's addiction to inkwork is getting tricky to keep track of.

So hard, in fact, that the Bizarre "tat nav" has been called into action.

Sadly, the device doesn't have sound but if it did speak, it would sound like his missus VICTORIA.

Yes, not only is there a pun, a bit of shoddy photoshop, but Gordon's even making up what the sound would be like if it had sound. I wonder what it would smell like, if it had a smell.

Napster wails that free music is terrible

It's like watching a genie trying to wedge itself back into a bottle. Thorsten Schliesche, Napster's vice president for sales and marketing in Europe, is upset.

(Hang about: has Napster got any sales in Europe? Apparently there's a .co.uk and a .de site, and it's all at the very forefront of the digital hyperroadway, proudly proclaiming napster.co.uk to be "recommended by 4Radio." Channel 4 pulled its radio experiment at the end of 2008 - why on earth would Napster be proudly proclaiming the support of a now-defunct but once modish digital adventure?)

Anyway, Schliesche doesn't like free music:

"New business models are arriving, amongst which the ‘freemium' service model has been naturally and powerfully adopted by consumers. Yet the ongoing momentum of that model does not have longevity and my greatest fear is that there are now too many 'free' messages to keep music truly valuable, as it should be, in the eyes of the consumer," he warned.

Like so many people, Schliesche's worry about people not "valuing" music doesn't really mean anything of the sort. What he means is he's worried about people not wanting to pay cash for music. Cash to him and his company.

The value of music doesn't exist solely, even primarily, in pounds and pence. That song that you slow-danced to at the school disco, or the one you lost your virginity to, or was playing when you fell in love - you value that song. In a way that doesn't require a signature or PIN code. A far, far greater threat to music come from people like Schliesche who see enjoying music as valueless unless it is part of a comodified system of exchange than people who value music, but perhaps don't put a cash amount on it.

Still, Schliesche - whose business and job is based solely on a service which used to give away music it didn't own for no money - is at least vaguely aware that he might be coming across a bit Bono:

"As a business Napster has been at the forefront of that change. In its original form, it was the first service to create a platform online that allowed people to search and find music, engaging millions of people. We don't deny that free music was part of that story," he explained.

Free music was a part of the story. In a similar way to, say, how a giant monster made up of used body parts and disappointment was part of the Frankenstein story. Or the Son of God was part of the Christmas story.

To be fair, he makes no attempt whatsoever to try and jump across this awkward gap in his thinking, and instead reaches out to people to, you know, do something:

"If users no longer believe in the need to maintain the ecosystem that is required to inspire and support new and existing artists and labels because they are getting something that they perceive to be free, somewhere along the way something extremely valuable may be lost. This discussion is one that must be addressed by all parties in the coming 12 months to ensure that the value of music is recognised and prolonged."

The trouble is, the music industry ecosystem isn't designed to support artists and music; it's designed to support the music industry ecosysten. If people never paid a penny for any song ever, there would still be songs written, tunes sung, tracks recorded and music shared. The only difference would be that there wouldn't be a structure of major labels and accountants and lawyers floating on top.

Adieu, La Roux

Somewhat oddly, La Roux has pulled their album and mostly everything else from Spotify. Except for the very few premium subscribers. Music Ally, which spotted the move, reports the tracks have also gone from We7, too.

The working-against-Spotify stance is puzzling as La Roux has helped promote the service in the past.

We7's Steve Purdham suggested to Music Ally that this might be an attempt to try and work out what impact the move will have on the market. Perhaps, in the same way that tugging wings off flies is a useful experiment to find out if flies enjoy being dicked around with.

299 proposed amendements to the Digital Economy Bill

Currently chuntering through committee the House Of Lords, the Digital Economy Bill has attracted nearly 300 amendments of varying quality. Most notably is an attempt to value infringement:

[One of Lord Lucas'] proposal would validate the belief of some record labels and movie studios that one illegally downloaded song or film amounts to one lost sale. Amendment 105 states that the process by which copyright holders would alert ISPs to alleged piracy should “value ... an infringement on the basis of the benefit that would have accrued to the owner had the copyright material been legally acquired from an ordinary internet retailer”.

Given that it's virtually impossible to prove that something you've uploaded has been downloaded at all, this kind of implies - should the ammendment stand and the bill pass - that record labels will find themselves chasing the odd 79pence here and there.

There's more, though:

—Illegal downloads of as-yet-unreleased material (ie. leaked albums or films) would be subject to a 10x valuation.
—A zero valuation must be used if the material has been illegally downloaded in a format the copyright holder has not made available legally

That's quite a radical proposal: the idea that simply by using a different format, the cost of the losses would be reduced to zero is fascinating. You could argue, though, these clauses cancel each other out - has an unreleased album (ten times valuation) actually been made available in any format? (zero times valuation).

808 4 for 2010

In the studio getting polished up all nice for a re-release right now: The 808 State albums 808:90, ex:el, Gorgeous and Don Solaris.

Actually, most of the polishing has already been done, as these were due to come out in 2008, but got lost when Pinnacle distribution fell over - quite a long wait for a comeback.



You might as well hit play. It's going to be swooshing round your brain in five minutes anyway.

Peaches Geldof wins libel case

The BBC is reporting victory for Peaches Geldof in a libel case against the Daily Star:

Peaches Geldof, daughter of Bob Geldof, has accepted substantial, undisclosed libel damages over a newspaper claim that she had worked as a prostitute.

The claims by the paper were a terrible slur on Peaches' image. Imagine implying she's ever worked.

Seriously, though, there is more to this story than just the headline - whatever you think of Peaches (or sex workers, come to that), to make that sort of claim about a person without any proof is an awful way for any newspaper, even The Star, to behave. A retraction and apology - at the very least - were required; and with more prominence than the paper managed.

They'd splashed the made-up story on page one; they tucked the correction away inside on page two.

What's really interesting, though, is that a complaint from Geldof's people to the Press Complaints Commission about the handling of the correction decided there was no problem with this behaviour. Understandably, Geldof's team didn't accept this - hence the legal action today.

This isn't, then, so much a story about a nasty paper making an ugly allegation, as a further indication that the Press Complaints Commission is broken beyond repair. When the PCC is being dismantled and its remit handed to Ofcom, Peaches Geldof will have played her part in helping to make that happen. And the papers will only have themselves to blame.

Factory offices reopend

Because there's no end to the ways to lose money in Manchester, the old Factory offices are being reopened as a nightclub.

The club is being named FAC251 - or renamed - and has Factory-related backers including Ben Kelly and Peter Hook. Hopefully one tradition of the old company - that of spunking cash up the wall - won't be getting carried forward into the new one.

Stop tittering, The Ting Tings

Like someone finding a street called 'Willy Road' and sending a photo to Your Crazy Signs in the Sunday People, The Ting Tings are naming their album after an awning outside a massage parlour:

Katie White and Jules De Martino's next effort, which they have been recording in Berlin, is set for release later this year – with the pair telling NME.COM that the title was inspired by a massage parlour near their studio.

The parlour was called Massage Kunst, and so the album is going to be called Kunst.

"Just round the corner to our studio there's a massage parlour, it's called Massage Kunst," De Martino explained. "It's Massage Art, basically. We took a picture of that and sent it to our label, saying this is the title of the album. They went berserk."

The label's cow probably came from the name sounding like a bad word for a good thing, but perhaps they were also a bit worried about how it would sound to the German market, calling your album 'art'. Doesn't really do much to blow away that sense of pretension that some reckon they can smell on the Ting Tings' breath, does it?

There's also the problem that Laibach have been using Kunst for years, and as part of a much wider, more challenging philosophical approach to art. Calling a Ting Tings album by the same name is a little like Joe McElderry calling a record Kid A.

Gordon in the morning: Did we say he was sick? We meant reliable

Back when the Georgi Dochev told the News Of The World he'd been at the house where Stephen Gately died, Gordon's team was quick to provide a platform for Boyzone to rail against him:

Boyzone slam 'sick' Gately sex stories

The source said: "Everyone is just sick that this man is profiting from Stephen's death."

Yes - thank God the Boyzone boys can rely on The Sun to see through this Georgi's sick, twisted, sickness and won't entertain his tacky, tawdry revelations.

What has your team got today, Gordon?

THE gay model present at the death of Stephen Gately has admitted having a two-year relationship with the Boyzone singer.

Yes, this morning Lynsey Haywood files a story which goes further. And, erm, repeats those "sick" claims that he was there when Gately's body was found.

Perhaps Boyzone should try telling The News Of The World how sick this all is?

Man swaps job for a similar job

I don't think a set of calipers have yet been made which open wide enough to measure the self-regard oozing out of Simon Cowell's words of comfort for America as he quits American Factor to launch X Idol:

"We did talk about me staying on both shows but when we looked at the practicalities of that, it was impossible," Cowell told the press. "In my opinion, it's like having a good player and a good football team. The two have to be OK together. I believe it's not my show, but it's still very close to me. We made sure when we did this, that I would be protected. I'm confident it will continue to be the #1 show. Everyone is committed to keeping it that way

They did toy with the idea of having a cardboard cut-out version of Cowell on American Idol, barking out prescripted, pre-recorded insults but that just sounded like a punchline.

Flea to become the Kwik Save of the bass market

There's any number of rubbishy products with famous names and large price tickets attached, so it's surprising to see a celeb product which is trying the reverse. Flea is doing his own range of basses, but he's producing high-quality, low-price instruments:

"I found that a lot of the kids I was teaching were coming in with inexpensive basses, which were pieces of s---," Flea explained. "The necks were warped and were falling apart. They were like toys. I wanted to make something that kids could afford but were quality, play well and last a long time."

It's like Britney Spears decided to try and make a perfume which smelled nice instead of starting with the mark-up and trying to work backwards.

France can't wait to start slapping down there three strikes

The CNIL - the French equivalent of the Data Commissioner's Office - have yet to approve the French 'three strikes' legislation, but that hasn't bothered newly-minted intellectual property agency Hadopi from setting up things; indeed, Hadopi is getting to ready to send out its first letters sometime between "April and July".

Not that there's any way that they're jumping the gun by organising themselves before getting CNIL approval. Not at all.

Kano bids to be the new Grange Hill Kids

It must have seemed a brilliant idea when it was first floated - "why don't we get one of these rappy chaps to do a pop music video to promote diplomas?" - but it's impossible to hear about Kano doing a spot for the Education Department without the need for five minutes work to uncurl your toes.

Mind you, I suspect the Telegraph might have taken a bit of licence here:

Ed Balls, the Education Secretary, has hired the British rapper Kano to promote the diploma, the Government's alternative to GCSEs and A-levels.

"Hello? Is that Mr. Kano? It's Ed here. Ed Balls. No... no this is not a prank phone-call, why would you think that? Yes, Balls. No, no, not head, it's Ed. Ed Balls... hello? Hello?"

Gordon in the morning: That's the week ruined already

Once again, Smart turns his column into a fawning-field for treating Guy Ritchie as if he was a genius. Ritchie has decided movies alone are not enough to provide his talents with stimulation and is now coming after us:

SHOOTING blockbuster films and running a pub isn't enough for GUY RITCHIE.

Now he's throwing all his efforts - lock, stock and barrel - into launching his own record label.

Running a record label? Isn't that going to be quite time consuming, what with the need to travel all over the nation, hanging out in small venues, listening to new acts and...

And he is keeping his first signing close to home - his pub's resident outfit, The Punchbowl Band.

Oh. So it's yet another vanity project, then?

But some pub band? Sure, they might be great in context, but who'd really want to start a collection of their music, eh, Gordon?

I've heard them in the bar and at the afterparty for Guy's latest movie, Sherlock Holmes, and I'd buy their CD.

But maybe I'm being too cynical. It sounds like they've managed to impress someone enough to land quite a major slot on a Hollywood Movie soundtrack. Can you guess which?

Guy has got his debut signing off to a flying start.

He had them perform on the Sherlock Holmes soundtrack with Oscar-winning composer HANS ZIMMER.

Wow. That must have been a difficult job for Ritchie, persuading the producer of that movie to take on such an unknown band. Must have called in a few favours.

Hang about, though, Gordon - have you done enough to please Guy? Is the article fawning enough?

I'll be raising a dram to their debut album, Journey, out on March 1.

That's better.

Decade Null: 2009 - Client

Rounding it all off, then, from last year's album Command, here's Client, live, doing Don't Run Away:



[Concluding Decade Null 2009]

Decade Null: 2009 - Pet Shop Boys

They're still quite good, you know. Yes. Pet Shop Boys live in Moscow, doing The Way It Used To Be:



[Part of Decade Null 2009]

Yoko Ono suggests she might want to sell copies of her memoirs

You don't say, Ms Ono:

Yoko Ono has hinted that she may write about life with The Beatles and her late husband John Lennon in her memoirs.

Well, yes. Assuming she wants to be given a cheque by a publisher in return for writing them, you rather think she would.

Crow protects wild horses

As Obama and Salazar try to cut the number of wild horses in the West, they're starting to pick a battle with Sheryl Crow. She wants the horses left alone:

Crow said the romantic symbols of the American West are being sacrificed, in part, because of ranchers' drive for land. She disputed the government's position that booming mustang numbers are threatening the horses with starvation, and harming arid rangelands and native wildlife.

"I think there has to be a better way than taking them away from their native lands," she said by phone from New York. "I feel so passionate about the issue because wild horses are one of the last remaining ties to the land as it was and our history in America."

It's possible that Susan Boyle's recent Rolling Stones cover was part of Crow's campaign, showing how distressing it is when somebody, however well-meaning, takes Wild Horses to a new place.

Decade Null: 2009 - The XX

Before they split, of course (sort of), The XX's Crystalised:



[Part of Decade Null 2009]

Gennaro Castaldo Watch: Ross loss upsets boss

The music industry - yes, the very music industry - is crying like a kiddie with its fingers trapped in a car door as the disappearance of the Jonathan Ross show sinks in. Head mourner, of course, is HMV's Panther Of Fact, Gennaro Castaldo:

Among those who are sorry to see the demise of Friday Night With Jonathan Ross are many in the music industry. Gennaro Castaldo, of HMV, said: “The loss of this show will come as a blow. It was one of the few shows that still showcases music and new releases to huge family audiences.

“Jonathan was particularly great at championing the kind of new artists and leftfield talent that don’t get much of a look in on TV.”

Because it's not like there's going to be a similar show, in a similar timeslot, having the same sort of 'book Bono, but if Bono's busy book someone who has had a couple of NME covers' approach to filling those all-important three minutes at about ten past eleven on a Friday when everyone is already switching off.

Look out! Myleene Klass has got a weapon

Curious story about Myleene Klass waving a knife at a couple of people she saw in her garden.

The Telegraph has an interview with her spokesperson which makes it sound like she was being chastised for her actions:

Jonathan Shalit, Miss Klass's agent, said that had been "shaken and utterly terrified" by the incident and was stepping up security at the house she shares with her fiancé, Graham Quinn, who was away on business at the time.

He said: "Myleene was aghast when she was told that the law did not allow her to defend herself in her own home. All she did was scream loudly and wave the knife to try and frighten them off.

"She is not looking to be a vigilante, and has the utmost respect for the law, but when the police explained to her that even if you're at home alone and you have an intruder, you are not allowed to protect yourself, she was bemused.

"Her questions going forward are: what are my rights, and what are you actually allowed to do to defend yourself in your own house?"

The report, however, misses out one crucial fact which The Guardian does include:

A spokeswoman for Hertfordshire police said no reference was made in the Klass incident report about a weapon.

So it sounds like the police who attended merely pointed out that you probably shouldn't threaten to stab people who stand outside your garden shed, which for some reason Klass has blown up into an incident.

Decade Null: 2009 - La Roux

How can you not love someone who does jokes during interviews where Hadouken is the punchline? Trapped in a small glass box by Jo Whiley, it's La Roux doing one of the fine tracks off the self-titled debut:



[Part of Decade Null 2009]

Bookmarks - Internet stuff: Bands as dates

Qcjeph presents bands-as-dates:

• High On Fire is the really hot girl you have sex with occasionally if you're both single and it's always rad and there's never any drama

• Gojira is the amazing guy/girl you dated during your semester abroad but none of your friends believes any of your stories about

• Metallica is Lars Ulrich jerking off onto an original Van Gogh forever

Decade Null: 2009 - Little Boots

Yes, yes, it's nearly over. One last year to get through.

I say 'get through', but look at this: Little Boots, off of Hands, out on Jools Holland.



[Part of Decade Null 2009]

This week just gone

The most popular Decade Null videos so far have been:

1. Kate Bush - King Of The Mountain
2. Emmylou Harris - Boy From Tupelo
3. Rachel Stevens - I Said Never Again
4. Carl Barat - Can't Stand Me Now
5. Pink - Don't Let Me Get Me
6. PJ Harvey - The Whores Hustle And The Hustlers Whore
7. Ladytron - Seventeen
8. Explosions In The Sky - With Tired Eyes...
9. Princess Superstar - Bad Babysitter
10. Tanya Donnelly - The Night You Saved My Life

New year, new books:


Philip Ball - The Music Instinct



Patti Smith - Just Kids



Will Birch - Ian Dury: The Definitive Biography



Gary Mulholland - Popcorn