Liquidation changes top floors

Liquidation has seen some changes in the time it's been delighting the prettier, more discerning end of Liverpool. Hard to believe, but the night it started, there wasn't a Ted Baker or a Nandos in the city.

There are changes afoot, though. Or, more accurately, ahead. Overhead. Long-serving top floor flavour Uptight is being stood down:

After many years of faithful service, Uptight has been put out to pasture, and upstairs every Saturday night from January 16th we'll be hosting Adult Books and the music policy is: GLAM/PUNK/ELECTRO/NEW WAVE/NOW

They say "Adult Books is an all out glitter-orgy of really quite glam-licious proportions, for the great and good in Liverpool to get out and go crazy to!" and who are we to disagree?

"If we'd had a third dancefloor in Le Bateau, Adult Books would have joined the party on Saturdays a long time ago, so it's great to finally have them on board."

In Uptight's absence, downstairs Liquidation will be playing a selection of 6Ts big hitters alongside the usual blend of sonic guitars, dirty disko and lost classics.

There's also to be a resurrection of the live acts that punctuated Liquidation back in the day, starting from February 6th. And drinks specials but use alcohol wisely, yeah?

Reverse Dotty weekend: Downloadable

One last bonus from the bucket of Reverse Dotty: Master Sr, an mp3 to download for free.

[Concluding the Reverse Dotty weekend]

Blur heroin story has no distance left to run

Yesterday, you might have spotted, the press were all over a story about Blur and drugs which took references Damon Albarn makes in new Blur movie No Distance Left To Run and inflated them to make it sound like it was heroin what did for the band.

Today, if you try to visit those pages - such as the Daily Telegraph page at http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/music-news/6993617/Damon-Albarn-admits-Blur-were-affected-by-heroin.html - you'll just get a 404 error page. If you try the 3AM Girls' story which was yesterday at http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2010/01/15/​damon-albarn-heroin-tore-blur-apart-115875-21968690, you just get dumped at the front of the Mirror website without any explanation.

Surely it wouldn't take a stiff legal letter before editors untangled their confusion at a man talking about the subject a song he made up in 1997 with the causes for a band splitting in 2003?

Wyclef Jean: Haiti donations might have been hasty

You can't deny Wyclef Jean's good intentions - he's down in Haiti right now, helping the relief effort.

Slightly less laudable, though, is his pushing of his Yele Haiti charity. It's been shady in the past, explains The Smoking Gun, and Gawker reports that it's not the best placed organisation to be picking up donations right now:

[L]arge first-responders usually have the resources to move money quickly to where it's needed, either by virtue of prepositioned disaster fund, large pools of money that they can shift among accounts as circumstances warrant, or access to a bridge loan to get money flowing. Yele Haiti, which as of 2007 had no paid staffers and currently, according to the source, has one employee who works out of the kitchen in Jean's Manhattan recording studio, has no such capacity. So it can spend whatever money it has on hand—at the end of 2007, it had roughly $500,000 in cash and liabilities of more than $900,000—but after that it has to wait for any donations made over the last three days to actually clear and show up in its bank account. And again, because it is a small player and uses a small firm to process its online donations, the source says, that process can take "two weeks to a month."

It might not be such a major problem - after all, there will still be needs for reconstruction in Haiti in a month - was Jean not pitching Yele Haiti as part of the instant relief effort. According to MTV, Jean has managed to bark up a million dollars from his campaigning - that's a million dollars that the larger groups could be using right now; a million dollars redirected to the wrong place at the wrong time.

Oh, and there's more:

Yele Haiti is will be one of the beneficiaries of George Clooney's "Hope for Haiti" telethon to be broadcast next week, and "there's no reason for that," the source says.

Yele Haiti claim that their connections in Haiti make them better-placed to distribute aid in a hurry - which isn't implausible - and say that they have achieved success in the 2004 Tropical Storm and 2008 food crises.

They even try to explain away the dubious financial organisation, including this:

Another strange Yele Haiti expense—$100,000 to Platinum Sound in 2006 as a performance fee for Jean playing a fundraiser in Monte Carlo—included payments for musicians and production costs, Locke says. Only $25,000 or so, he says, accounted for Jean's fee.

Ah, right. So Jean only pocketed twenty-five grand for playing for his own charity; not four times that amount. That's... alright... then.

Reverse Dotty weekend: Break It Off

This is the last video shaking from the Reverse Dotty tree: Break It Off, in a similar style to the previous 'performance with album version overdubbed' effort:



[Part of Reverse Dotty weekend]

I collect, I reject: More Beatles tat for sale

Given how sniffy they are about putting their music onto digital platforms, The Beatles are really happy to let any other old shit be flogged off their backs. Here's an example:

MusicSkins Secures Worldwide License to Market Personal Device Skins Featuring Iconic Beatles Images Including Seven Best Selling Albums Cover Art

In other words, they're selling some stickers you can stick onto your phone with pictures of Beatles records on them.

Of course, you might be more familiar with the world of high-quality, wipe-clean vinyl decals than music, so here's a helpful explanation:

“The Beatles are the biggest rock band of all time, and they are still as hot today as ever – the recently released re-masters of their CD’s shot to the top of the charts, and ‘The Beatles Rock Band’ game was the most anticipated game release in years,” commented Jed Seifert, MusicSkins LLC Executive Vice President.

He's right, you know. If by "top of the charts" he means "quite near the top of the charts, for some of them, although others struggled to get out of the lower reaches, and then they all dropped out faster than the bottom of a cardboard bucket" and, on the computer game, if you add the words "ignoring Call Of Duty 2 and Street Fighter IV and Resident Evil 5 and that arcade game they put into SuperPoke Pets."

“We couldn’t be more excited about offering skins that showcase the Beatles logo and the iconic cover art from some of the most important albums that helped shape the whole rock music genre.”

No, I'm sure you couldn't. I really couldn't be any more excited about it, too. Even if something happened to make it actually exciting.

Reverse Dotty weekend: OMD

The album version of OMD, laid on top of a live performance of the song:



[Part of Reverse Dotty weekend]

Gordon in the morning: Silence in Church

For no apparent reason, Gordon decides to kick Charlotte Church around a bit this morning:

It will be a while before we hear an album from her as she is looking for a new record deal. But I hear she has been writing songs in LA and is touting them around.

Meanwhile, Channel 4 have shelved The Charlotte Church Show. It was last aired in 2008.

None of these three things really seem to be 'news' as such. Gordon only seems to be bringing them up now so he can share some his of his acute, insider's eye to explain this situation:

I reckon the problem can be summed up in two words... KATHERINE JENKINS, her sexy Welsh chart rival.

Yes. Yes, that would be it - you can picture the scene at Horseferry Road:

- Shall we recommission the Charlotte Church show?
- No, we'd better not, as there's another welsh female singer in existence

Elsewhere, Gordon reveals that Journey refused to let Simon Cowell give Don't Stop Believin' to whoever was going to win last year's X Factor.

(Pop quiz, hotshots - can you remember the name of the 2009 X Factor winner? That's showbusiness.)

Gordon sees this as the fatal flaw that cost Joe his number one:

The Geordie lad performed the 1981 ballad twice on The X Factor. And I'm not alone in thinking it could have got him the Christmas No1 if he'd released it.

Although Gordon doesn't say who it is who makes him feel unalone in this strange belief.

Billy Bragg: Not talking with the taxman

Billy Bragg is mad as hell, and not taking the RBS bonuses lying down. In fact, he's decided to not pay his taxes until it's "sorted out" - which seems a bit vague as a campaign slogan: ("What do we want? The bonus situation at the RBS to be sorted out! When do we want it? As soon as practicable but certainly before the next budget, assuming the election isn't called in the next couple of weeks...")

Actually, the campaign's main aim is for no RBS bonuses at all; and Bragg's NoBonus4RBS Facebook is calling for an old-fashioned letter writing campaign. On the basis that the citizens of the nation are, effectively, shareholders of RBS. Because they play taxes. Only Bragg isn't going to pay his taxes until it's sorted out. So he won't be an effective shareholder... um...

Embed and breakfast man: Reverse Dotty

So if Sleater-Kinney spent too long hanging out with David Byrne, you might end up with something a bit like Reverse Dotty. I'm thinking this is effecting an introduction, but they've been going since 2007, and are currently plotting their third album for this summer. So it's more catching up.

Let's start at the start, shall we? Pregnancy-rejecting, pizza-themed fun with Egg Room from the first album:



Reverse Dotty on the internets
ReverseDotty.com - official site
Reverse Dotty on Last FM
Reverse Dotty on MySpace
Reverse Dotty on Facebook
Reverse Dotty on Twitter

Buy Reverse Dotty
Reverse Dotty downloads on Amazon

More to come...
OMD - half-live
Break It Off - half-live
Master Sr - mp3

NME want to know what you reckon

NME is doing another one (actually, another three) sessions where they invite you to go to their offices and come up with ideas to save themhelp shape the future of the magazine. Everyone's invited, but please: if your idea of the future is ten year-old Liam Gallagher interviews, please don't go.

Alan Ellis: Oink man not guilty

The not guilty verdict in the case of Alan Ellis, found not guilty of conspiracy to defraud in charges relating from his Oink website, isn't entirely comforting news for the music industry.

The Crown Prosecution Service and the Police are also trying to put a brave face on things:

Chief Superintendent Mark Braithwaite, head of crime operations for Cleveland Police, said: "This has been a fair investigation.

"The jury has been presented with all the evidence and we abide by their decision."

The Crown Prosecution Service defended the decision to prosecute Mr Ellis.

"We believe we were wholly right to bring the prosecution against Mr Ellis and that there was sufficient evidence to provide a realistic prospect of conviction and that evidence was put before the jury," a spokesman said.

Perhaps someone should be asking why the public purse was funding this case, and not the copyright industry. This seems to be the sort of thing that civil courts are set up for. If EMI and Warners want to piss away their own money trying to shore up an outdated business model, that's their choice. At a time when public spending is facing a big squeeze, I don't see that the State should be joining in the cash-pissing.

Record companies still face price-fixing allegations

The American courts - Second Circuit Court of Appeals, to be precise - have reinstated a class action against the majors alleging price-fixing in the early days of download sales in the US.

The complainants point to how downloads were the same price across the two favoured legal services; the defendants insist that's just how markets work. The case had been tossed, but now it's back, and heading for a proper hearing.

Price-fixing? The record labels? It's not like they don't have form for it.

Kelis will kill animals with her bare hands if she has to

PETA sent a letter to Kelis, asking her not to wear fur.

Kelis responded like Dappy might:

There is no humane way to kill anything, let me start there. It’s unfortunate but it’s part of life. With that being said, I would eat pterodactyl if you found some and you told me it was meaty and delicious. And after doing a very minimal amount of research....... I found out that the founder Ingrid Newkirk is completely batty. I had a feeling but she far exceeded my expectations. I mean certifiably insane! Lol this chicks will is nuts, google it – it’s a riot! Beyond the fact that I think she's a diabetic, which means she needs insulin, which is taken from lab pigs (I know this because my sister happens to be in veterinary school), which would be completely hypocritical. It’s like don't abuse animals unless it can help me.



I feel very strongly about a lot of things such as the sweatshops that spin cotton and the blood on their hands. Btw it’s not just the look of fur. It’s warm as hell and feels glorious, ever rubbed faux fur on your body? Nothing luxurious about that. Then the letter proceeded to name artist and designers who don't wear real fur. Great! More for me! I don't judge them, don't judge me.

If I started wearing endangered animals like polar bear or orangutan then talk to me. (Which btw for the record I would not - I do believe in the preservation of endangered species) But the minks and chinchilla that quite honestly are rodents and if weren't in the form of a coat I would demand they be put to death anyway are not an issue to me.

The death of high fashion. Ugh.

I eat meat, and in fact my mouth salivates as I type the word meat! And the paint throwing that's just ridiculous! What if I was hurling Loubitons and Pierre Hardy's at every sad poorly dressed person on the street? As right as I may be it’s just fanatical and crazy. And people have the right to feel as they please. What about art? Survival of the fittest. Natural selection? No let's just let all the rodents run free and over take our cities. Oh wait they have, NY and LA in particular are infested! Why don't u save them all from scavenging on the streets and ruining my evening strolls, take them home. Make them pets! Get off my back! Pun intended!

Underpaid minorities picking your vegetables, now that's fine for you right? Please, fight for their rights. How about the poverty in the communities of brown people around the world. She had the nerve to say (and I quote) "get over it" talking of the issue of black people and slavery in this country verses cows being slaughtered. Is she kidding me? Lol yes she must be. Actually, she's lucky most black people have real issues to worry about in the U.S and don't give a crap what her delusional privileged opinions are. But she should try saying that again just for kicks n giggles on the corner of Adam Clayton Powell Blvd in Harlem n see how well people "get over it" lol.

If u want to preach do it about something worthwhile don't waste my time trying to save the dang chipmunk.

Find a worthwhile cause like the women being maimed in these Middle Eastern countries. Or female circumcision. Or women's rights here in America, we still get paid less for doing the same jobs as men. Quite honestly if you hate the world so much go live in the forest where no one else has to hear you complain about the perfectly good food chain the good Lord created. Everyone has the right to an opinion, and that's mine on that! xoxo

Kelis - perhaps unsurprisingly - is a little bit confused and all over the place - moral relativism and the question of if a pterodactyl would constitute an endangered species notwithstanding, she seems to believe that if people didn't make them into coats, the country would be overwhelmed with mink.

It's not entirely clear why Kelis thinks that wearing fur has anything much to do with the food chain (perhaps she enjoys a nice mink burger every now and then), and she does appear to be suggesting that she has a God given right to wear fur. And a vet might quibble with the suggestion that there isn't a humane way to kill things. But you've got to admire the decision to engage with PETA on their ill-thought-out, stunt-happy home turf.

I think this means that I'm allowed to knit myself a scarf from any hair Kelis might discard. But it is a bit of a moral grey area.

Dappy not so thick as he seems: 'able to use phone' - official

Earlier in the week, N-Dubz were on the Chris Moyles programme (apparently this was to balance out BBC Radio broadcasting In Our Time); during the course of which, a woman sent in a sarky text criticising Dappy:

complaining that he was "vile" and "a little boy with a silly hat".

Now, what's the best way to demonstrate that you're not vile?

How about stealing the woman's number, and sending a series of semi-literate death threats. By text. From his own phone:

"Your gonna die. U sent a very bad msg towards Ndubz on The Chris Moyels show yesterday Morning and for that reason u will never be left alone!!! u say sorry I will leave u alone u ****."

"u dum f****** ***head u can call me names over the radio but when I call u direct u chicken out u punk!nana f****** niii, Dappy."

Wendy Cope, I know for a fact, is kicking herself she never thought of that last line.

Chloe Moody, the unlucky recipient of Dappy's ire, is unhappy:

Moody told the newspaper: "It's terrifying when anybody sends you a death threat, whether it's real or not. Somebody of a fragile mind would be worrying what they were going to do. His behaviour is unprofessional. I'm considering going to the police."

It's unpleasant, certainly. But I'm not sure "unprofessional" is a word that can really be flung at Dappy - 'idiot in a hat' isn't really a profession in any meaningful sense of the word; it's not even a job, in the sense that if he wasn't doing it, you wouldn't exactly rush to put an 'idiot wanted: must have own hat' card in the window.

Newsround 2: Myleene and the knife

The non-story about Myleene Klass being "warned" by police about "defending herself" with a knife didn't stand up even the first reading. However, that's not to say there isn't a story here. Marina Hyde has done some digging, and what turns out is not a tale about the woman out the bikini advert being threatend with the law, but... well, something else entirely:

Lost in Showbiz discovers that the initial call to police was not placed by Myleene but by a man believed to be her agent or publicist, to whom she was naturally on the phone at the time. Truly, the fourth emergency service. It was one or other of these men who called the Met in London, who then passed the matter on to the Hertfordshire force who attended Myleene's address in the small hours of Friday, by which time she had also been in touch with police. As for the story's appearance in the Sun the very next day, Hertfordshire police state: "We believe the media found out about the incident following a phone call from Ms Klass's publicist to Emma Cox from the Sun."

So, Myleene was in such danger she felt the need to ready herself to stab someone's face off, but rather than calling the police, she got somebody else to ring a force in a different county entirely. You wonder when the Tory-happy story about being warned off stabbing people was generated.

Newsround 1: Liam Gallagher's on fire

Take a close look at this picture. What is it of? Yes, yes, someone doing a tourist-friendly fire routine. That much is clear.

But look closer. Do you see anything else?

No.

That's not what the Telegraph sees, though:

A fire-eater has mastered the art of blowing out balls of flame in the shape Liam Gallagher's head.

You might have thought the Telegraph would have been kept busy what with the thaw, the looming election and the earthquake, but no: it seems their need for news is so great that no morsel of something that doesn't quite stand up will be turned away.

John Brigden, 50, a lorry driver from Alcester, Warwickshire, who photographed the spectacle, said: "I was just watching the procession and clicking away taking photographs.

And then when I looked at it later, I was a little bit spooked looking at it initially. With the long hair and things, it bears a hell of resemblance to Liam - I couldn't believe it."

Isn't Tom Jones the pop star with the bright orange, funny-shaped face?

If the Telegraph is interested, I saw an estate agent who looked a bit like Gail off Corrie on one of the property programmes earlier today. The front page should be held.

Jay Reatard investigation

BBC 6Music are reporting that, according to Memphis media, police are investigating Jay Reatard's death as a possible homicide.

House Of Commons hired out to promote commercial radio

While you can understand Absolute Radio celebrating its first year after throwing off the Virgin brand and a large portion of its listeners - "we're still here" - I'm a bit surprised they got to promote themselves in Parliament. With a gig by Biffy Clyro.

This, it seems, is a way of politicians "reaching out" to the public:

John Bercow, Speaker of the House of Commons, said it could be the first of many similar concerts, as part of his efforts to help Parliament ''reconnect'' with modern Britain.

Oh, yes. After a couple of years in which MPs have been castigated for lining their own pockets and doing very nicely for themselves, how better to reconnect with the people than by turning the building over to host corporate jollies. Perhaps they should ask RBS if they want to do a management paintball team building event in the Committee Rooms?

The Telegraph describes this as "the first gig in parliament", before then clarifying the claim:

Parliament has witnessed a few musical performances before, including appearances by Alicia Keys, the R&B star, Ralph McTell, the folk musician, and Commons rock band MP4 – made up of four MPs – has played in the terrace pavilion.

But Thursday night's Biffy Clyro show is believed to be the first full-scale gig by a mainstream rock act.

Except, as the Telegrpah's own report says, the band played a half-hour acoustic set, so it wasn't actually a full-scale gig at all. But 'band play latest in series of gigs at Commons' isn't quite as eye-catching.

What the pop papers say: A looking ahead

This week's NME runs a few letters which would suggest that most people thought an issue totally dedicated to re-running old Oasis interviews was the best thing that ever happened, rather than a low point in the magazine's recent history. There are a couple of dissenting voices, but they're batted away with a suggestion that because the Christmas issue trailed the Oasis special, and it said "collector's special" on the front, you can't really complain.

"I told you I was going to shit on your face, so what are you complaining about?"

To be fair, this week's edition - the 2010 album preview - is much closer to the sort of magazine you'd hope for from the NME. Even if the cover is rotten, there's a nice mix of chunky, interesting mini-interviews with people you might have forgotten totally existed (Kate Nash) and not too much about people you're sick of (although Liam Gallagher is still given a platform - presumably so they've got something to cut and paste into the next "collector's special".)

NME is stuttering at the moment - there's bits and pieces which hint at the possibility of a title reinventing itself as something engaging and valuable, but it feels like there's too much of the sort of stuff that's been clogging the arteries of the paper for years being allowed to remain, and too much by-numbers material. Literally by numbers, because they do love a list.

Decline is not inevitable, then, but at the moment they're trying to relight a fire with wet matches in a strong wind.

Gordon in the morning: Suede back

You could call Suede getting back together, but without Bernard Butler, a reunion. But it's a bit like restoring a classic car to the state it would have been if it had been left at the bottom of a lake for six months. Yes, it's still the same thing, but it's not what you'd really want.

There's no official confirmation that Suede are coming up again - just rumours - but that hasn't stopped Gordon running the story as fact:

BRITPOP legends SUEDE are reuniting - for one night only.

The quartet, who injected a dose of elegantly wasted glamour to the 90s indie scene, will play a headline gig in March. And the rockers, who split in 2003, can't be accused of doing it for cash - it will be for charity.

Gordon doesn't say when, exactly, the gig is happening. Or where. Or who the charity will be. In fact, you could have written this piece solely drawing on the rumours online from over the last 24 hours.

Gordon is reduced to explaining Suede to his readership. Smart writing about Suede. It's like hearing your daughter is going to be at an event where Ronnie Wood is attending. It doesn't have to end badly, but you just can't help worrying.

Tell us about Suede, Gordon:

Led by backside-slapping frontman BRETT ANDERSON, they crushed grunge's chart domination when they emerged in 1992 in a riot of smeared lipstick, greasy fringes and turbo- charged glam rock.

Their lyrics picked over the grittier side of life, influenced by industrial-sized drug use.

The drugs eventually caused the band serious problems. Singles Animal Nitrate, Trash and We Are The Pigs have stood the test of time, and founder Brett went on to have three solo albums.

Jesus. It's like Wikipedia filtered through someone who can half remember a few front pages of Select and Melody Maker but never read the stories inside. Shouldn't Gordon at least point out it was his own arse that Brett would slap?

[You might actually enjoy: the Suede weekend]

Twittergem: Lady GaGa pulls gig in real time

You can't argue that @ladygaga wasn't keeping her customers informed:

I've been crying for hours, I feel like I let my fans down 2nite. An hour before the show, I was feeling dizzy and having trouble breathing

Paramedics came to take care of me, and told me my heart-rate was irregular-- a result of exhaustion and dehydration.

can't apologize enough for how sorry I am. I could hear my fans cheering from my dressing room, I begged everyone to let me go onstage.

My stage has complicated mechanical elements,everyone was concerned I'd be in danger during the 2hr show, since I had passed out earlier.

I am so devastated. I have performed with the flu, a cold, strep throat: I would never cancel a show just based on discomfort.

I hope you can forgive me. I love my little monsters more than anything, you are everything to me. I will make-up the performance on Jan 26.

Do not operate heavy machinery while drowsy and wearing a dress made of mirrors and monkey paws.

Perez Hilton and Simon Fuller come together to create something

Perez Hilton is trumpeting all over his website about big news. Sadly, this isn't that he's about the merge with Whizzer And Chips:

PEREZ HILTON AND RENOWNED DIRECTOR JAMIE KING JOIN FORCES WITH AMERICAN IDOL CREATOR AND SPICE GIRLS FOUNDER
SIMON FULLER TO ASSEMBLE:

The Boy Band for the Next Generation!

The next generation - we can see them from here - is looking a bit confused and saying that they hadn't really asked for a boyband, thanks, while this generation is saying that perhaps, if the next generation did want a boyband, couldn't they knock one up themselves, as it's not that difficult. It's like having a contest for the cheese sandwich for your flatmate.

Anyway, Hilton pads his part extensively:

As entertainment power players with tremendous influence over today’s music marketplace, Hilton, King and Fuller are determined to form the next great Boy Band!

I know modesty isn't Hilton's strong suit, but fancy writing a piece of puff about yourself that auto-felating. Even an Apprentice contestant might think that was overdoing it a bit.

Says Perez, "I am beyond thrilled and honored to be working with Jamie King and Simon Fuller, both legends. We are looking for the best, brightest and boldest! This is a boy band unlike any other before. ALL of the members will sing. ALL of the members will dance. Finding our talented group won't be easy, but the end result is going to be soooooooo worth it. I can hear the screaming girls already!"

A boyband like none other before, on the grounds that they'll all sing and dance. We're looking forward to the launch of Hilton's range of socks unlike any socks ever before, where both socks will be worn on the feet.

By the way, "I can hear the screaming girls already" is a direct translation of the phrase "how hard can it be to separate an eight year old from her dollar bills?"

Jamie King, he's involved, too:

"Now is the moment for the creation of a full-throttle, high-octane boy band! There's a huge opportunity for the next generation of performers to create spectacle, both musically and physically, with kick-ass dance moves, amazing voices and mind-blowing concert skills," says King.

How did King decide "now is the moment"? In the past, he would have had to sacrifice Jason Orange and inspect his entrails to tell if the time was auspicious, but nowadays they can do it with computers. Simply plug in the date you'd expect your main singer to check into drug rehab, and the software works out the back trajectory to the point where you'd have to start hanging round gyms.

Simon Fuller says, “I’m delighted to be working with Jamie and Perez. Boy bands have always been at the heart of pop culture with huge potential to excite a massive audience both here in the States and the rest of the world. With Jamie and Perez at the helm we have a real focus on what we are looking for. Together we will do everything to ensure that whoever is discovered becomes one of the most successful groups in recent years.”

Boy bands have always been at the heart of pop culture. If you assume that there was no popular culture prior to New Edition. Or The Monkees, at a stretch.

Fuller's quote seems honest, if puzzling. The other two are honking away about how they're looking for people who have all these astonishing talents - dancing asses, voices, the ability to carve likenesses of Michael Jackson out of butter - but, really, Fuller admits the success or otherwise depends not on how pretty the band is, or how well it sings. They're running a competition to find some flesh to push into an already-constructed marketing plan.

The plates are warming, the table laid, the ketchup and pickled eggs are already open. There's going to be a fish supper - who really cares if it turns out to be a piece of coley or a bit of haddock that gets picked up from the chip shop? It's only going to be battered, consumed and then shat out the next day.

Bono's musical refunds cash

More U2-related news, as the ill-starred Spiderman musical which Bono and The Edge have been involved with starts to pay back ticket holders before a song has been sung or a single web slung.

Not that the towel is being thrown in, oh no no no no:

Producers said the show was "moving forward" and an opening date, for later in the year, would be announced soon.

It turns out that finding a singer willing to be bitten by a radioactive spider is proving difficult, and the producers can't really think of any other way to create a man/spider hybrid on stage.

BBC: We went U2 far

That eye-watering slew of U2 programming across the BBC back when No Line On The Horizon was released has been ruled as being frankly bloody embarrassing (I paraphrase slightly) by the BBC Editorial Complaints Unit:

The use of the mathematical symbol for identity in the graphic "U2 = BBC" gave an inappropriate impression of endorsement.

A pre-recorded interview between Zane Lowe and Bono of U2 was for the most part appropriate, but a reference to Radio 1 being "part of launching this new album" was not.

It turns out, though, that the ECU is only worried about the detail, and not the way that Bono's face loomed out of every screen and channel for what felt like three years:

Complaints about an edition of Jo Whiley (Radio 1, 27 February 2009) and a News Online report of the U2 concert on the roof of Broadcasting House were not upheld.

It's also worth pointing out that despite this blanket coverage and implied endorsement, U2 still only sold the record in disappointing quantities, so nobody came out of it well.

At the same time, the ECU has ticked off Radio 1 for providing links to ticket websites when promoting Coldplay gigs.

The complaints came from RadioCentre, the commercial radio body, who have probably ensured nothing like the U2 blitz will ever happen on the BBC again. Not quite sure if I ran a commercial radio station I'd be spending my time trying to make the BBC much more attractive, but it's quite generous of them.

Soulobit: Teddy Pendergrass

Teddy Pendergrass, who had been ill for some time, has died, his son has confirmed.

Pendergrass' breakthrough came as one of the Blue Notes, stood behind Harold Melvin. In 1975 he went solo. A string of R&B hits followed, including this, Love TKO:



He was the first black artist to have a run of five platinum albums, but his run of good luck was cut brutally short when, in 1982, he suffered a major car accident. Paralyzed as a result, Teddy would return to music just a year later. His comeback was crowned with a stint as part of the American leg of Live Aid, but this would be a rare live performance. It wasn't until 2001 that he would appear on stage with a full show and, while the accident didn't stop his creativity, the after-effects were enough to prevent him properly promoting his work. The result was a late career which never quite lived up to the pre-accident promise.

Pendergrass had had colon surgery eight months ago; his recovery had proved difficult. Teddy Pendergrass was 59.

Gordon in the morning: Guy Ritchie's record label gets worse

Gordon should probably just put Guy Ritchie's name on the masthead, don't you think? Today, he returns to Ritchie's vanity record label and plans for his pub band to stick a record out.

A terrible idea, but one which Ritchie has managed to find a way to make even worse:

The landlord of the Punch Bowl in London has mastered the vocals to his fave song and is lining up for a guest appearance for himself on the next album by The Punchbowl Band, his first signing.

You have to feel sorry for people who use NewsNow as their starting point for internet news. With The Sun now missing from the NewsNow index, will they know to run hide?

Punkobit: Jay Reatard

Spinner is reporting that Matador and Goner Records have both confirmed the death of Jay Reatard.

There's an announcement on Goner Records board, but that's fallen over under the weight of people trying to confirm the story.

If the story is true, it's a cruelly early death. Reatard was twenty-nine; he'd been an active musician for fifteen years.

Born Jimmy Lee Lindsey, The Oblivians were to inspire both his sound and his stage name. His first band, The Reatards, was at first a one-man deal, eventually expanding to enough members to allow a tour of Europe. There would follow a mix of side-projects and spin-offs, before Jay finally went properly solo in 2006. A deal with Matador, and fans in the music press built his reputation.

Amongst his last material, during the summer of 2009, was working on tribute to Chris Knox. Knox had been due to collaborate with Reatard, but suffered a stroke before the partnership could get off the ground.

Goner Record's statement reads:

"It is with great sadness that we report the passing of our good friend Jay Reatard. Jay died in his sleep last night. We will pass along information about funeral arrangements when they are made public."

Jedward... oh, they're still here. Isn't that enough?

Last year, Vanilla Ice teamed up with MC Hammer in what seemed like the lowest point in his career.

It seemed so. But now he's sinking even lower, as Ice teams up with Jedward to cover his own record:

"Ice couldn't wait to work with the boys after seeing their performance.

"He thought it was genius and now sees the chance to bring his record to a much younger audience.

"The boys even look like he did back in the early days."

To be fair, I've still got a box of Mince Pies that have passed their sell-by date which I still intend to enjoy later tonight, so you can understand why Jedward haven't yet been sent back to wherever it is they came from, but taking a joke which wasn't funny and coupling it with another joke that wasn't funny doesn't suddenly make a worthwhile project. Sometimes, if the bowl doesn't flush, you should think about calling the plumber instead of adding more to the mix.

[Thanks to Michael M]

Gennaro Castaldo Watch: By the book

If there's one thing that Gennaro Castaldo knows about, it's... uh, pop-up book stores at interior design shows. Apparently:

The Ideal Home Show Book Club will take place during the whole 17-day event, in Earls Court, at which some 250,000 visitors are expected. The Club is being organised by former Cassell publisher Mathew Clayton on behalf of the show's organiser's Media Ten, and run in conjunction with HMV.
[...]
HMV spokesperson Gennaro Castaldo said: "The pop-up shops we opened around the country for Christmas attracted a great deal of interest, but we have also been trailing smaller entertainment-based formats that are more suited to exhibition events, and we are very pleased to bring our entertainment offer to the Ideal Home Show."

It's not entirely clear why HMV are doing this under the HMV badge, when you'd have thought their Waterstones brand would have been a better fit. Perhaps they've got the HMV signage sitting round and don't want to lash out for Waterstones signs too?