Tuesday, December 24, 2013

2013 Steps To Nowhere: May

Gennaro Castaldo left the HMV to work his magic with the BPI.

Eurovision happened. The Spectator decided it was all the BBC's fault.

Someone tried to see a gig at Venue Cymru, only to be set a pop quiz by the bouncers. They lost. Omarion's security were accused of making people fight.

RIAA attempt to introduce certificates for streaming but more for their benefit than anyone else's. But it's not quite as empty a gesture as blocking file sharing sites.

Liam Gallagher's kids find him as embarassing as the rest of us. Macauly Culkin moved in with Pete Doherty.

Gus Wenner took over the Rolling Stone website, based on his skills and not because it's his dad's business. Harry Styles can't rely on his Dad, so plans to marry into royalty instead.

Radio One is losing listeners all over the shop. Perhaps not playing Robbie Williams is part of the fightback?

When The Man tried to stop moshing, Ellie Goulding said mosh on. When Tesco got caught selling sexist greeting cards, Steve Brookstein stepped in to defend the supermarket. He was paid in unsold horsemeat for his trouble.

Brian May thinks judging TV talent shows is beneath Tom Jones.

Rihanna was unamused to see her face in TopShop on tshirts and went to court. Adam Levine didn't like a phone vote outcome, and somehow ended up having to prove his patriotism.

Pete Waterman called the Rilling Stoned old.

Closing: All Tomorrows Parties, Hop Festival
Bust: Blue
Splitting: Tame Impala


Monday, December 23, 2013

2013 Steps To Nowhere: April

Bobby Gillespie's critique of how capitalism is killing youth culture might have had more weight if he hadn't been doing it as part of a TopShop promo. The Stone Roses' triumph at Coachella might have had more weight if anyone had heard of them. Kasabian's insistence that they should be headlining Glastonbury might have more weight if they were good enough.

Gennaro Castaldo waved off the Bracknell HMV.

Chris Brown named a company after himself, and then tried to pretend he hadn't. Rick Ross did a rape song, and then tried to pretend he hadn't. Reebok didn't believe him.

It upsets Liam Gallagher when people criticise him, the poor lamb.

Thatcher died, and suddenly a song from the Wizard Of Oz became popular. Living politician Vince Cable put £200,000 into creating anti-piracy measures that won't work. UK gun laws do work quite well, though - apparently well enough for Michael Jackson.

Muse muddled up their Japanese flags.

Justin Bieber left his monkey behind and then tried to claim Anne Frank.

Radio 2 discovered its listeners like Coldplay.

Closing: The Gibson Ampitheater
Launching: Twitter Music
Splitting: JLS

[Part of 2013 Steps To Nowhere]


Sunday, December 22, 2013

2013 Steps To Nowhere: March

Justin Bieber took to the stage late, and hoped God would sort it for him. Michelle Shocked railed against gay marriage, and then tried to say she was just pretending to be someone else. The Osmonds fought amongst themselves.

People with small dicks still upset by Short Dick Man, all these years later. You know who's not got a small dick? Ne-Yo. He's huge and considerate.

The Stone Roses were out to get Azealia Banks. She believed. Suede said something gentle about boybands. Robbie Williams took it personally.

Radio 2 DJs rebelled against being marked out of 10. As if things weren't bad enough for Dermot O'Leary, who had to shutter a fish shop.

The Cheeky Girls illuminated the immigration debate.

GWAR launched a table sauce while Gucci Mane experimented with a name change.

What could be worse than a Lennon musical? One put together by John Power, perhaps.

Bonnie Tyler for Eurovision. How could that go wrong? China would make no room for Kraftwerk, though.

Morrissey doesn't like much of anything. It's making him sick.

TMZ killed off Lil'Wayne. Also not dead: music, not killed by filesharing.

Splitting: My Chemical Romance, Girls Aloud, Razorlight
Returning: Atomic Kitten
Closing: Done Waiting


[Part of 2013 Steps To Nowhere]


This week just gone

The ten most-read December stories:

1. Dead: Ronnie Biggs
2. Charlotte Church takes down Louise Mensch
3. Blur launch a flat cap
4. Miley Cyrus ruins someone's anniversary
5. Morrissey cuts boyfriend; runs auction for PETA
6. RIP: Junior Murvin
7. Video: Swervedriver release new stuff
8. Tommy Vance returns to radio
9. Gary Barlow day is ruined
10. When is a Mandela joke not a Mandela joke?

Frankly, people were giving up releasing new stuff for the year:


Matthew Sweet & Susanna Hoffs - Under The Covers 3


Download Under The Covers



Ringo Deathstarr - Gods Dream


Saturday, December 21, 2013

2013 Steps To Nowhere: February

6Music ask their listeners for favourite album; the answer was somewhat awkward. To avoid awkward onscreen moments, the Grammys had a dress code.

Jude Rogers wrote an excellent piece for The Observer. It was so good, parts of it were visible in The Telegraph.

Dave Grohl had a go at Britney Spears' tits while the tattooist left little of Cheryl Cole's arse.

A few years back, volunteers painted a mural on the wall of the Picket. It stood in the way of progress.

Jimmy Iovine announced overpriced headphone company Beats was getting into music streaming just as the US charts started to count YouTube views.

David Cameron ignored the ban on him liking The Smiths, as Morrissey blamed wars on non-gay people.

It was the Brits - what better time to celebrate the first growth in music sales since 1999?

To avoid too many artists being held in too few hands, Parlophone was sold by EMI. To Universal. By total coincidence, Universal donated Bieber tickets to the Tories to be auctioned for party funds around the same time. BMG snapped up Sanctuary

Bjork asked fans to fund her education app. They demurred. The people who built Akon's social network asked for money. He delayed.

Why did Robbie Williams and Oasis fall out? Because Williams couldn't Mod it up enough, of course. Not because Liam sobered up.

Returning: My Bloody Valentine
Still around: Northern Uproar
Splitting: Slayer, The Spice Girls

[Part of 2013 Steps To Nowhere]


Friday, December 20, 2013

Courtney Love: America's Sally Bercow

Courtney Love's attempted to argue that, because the internet is effectively people screaming unsubstantiated obscenities into one another's iPads, she shouldn't be put on trial for alledgely defaming her former lawyer Rhonda Holmes on Twitter.

The judge didn't buy it:

Judge Michael Johnson agreed with [Holmes], saying, "Ms. Love has a big following and they all hang on everything she does and says and Tweets."
Which manages to be both terrible news for Love, and also the most generous thing anyone has said about her in a very long time.

The defamation trial will now happen in January.

Our legal experts reassure us you can say what you like about anyone on MySpace, as it's probably nobody will ever find out.


2013 Steps To Nowhere: January 2013

Cassingles are the coming thing, apparently. And this chap Jimi Hendrix has a new single out. David Bowie came back. Welcome to our review of 2013. Yes, we checked the year. It's 2013.

The Wanted think they're like The Beatles. Then, after releasing a terrible video, they tried to be The Beatles.

HMV was probably as surprised as anyone at a bidding war breaking out; but surely nobody was surprised that Viva Forever, the Spice Girls musical, was struggling? In the end, Hilco won the HMV battle.

When life steals Damon Albarn's bicycle, he goes to the bike shop. When Ronan Keating gets a bad review, he goes onto Twitter.

When Beyonce played the inauguration, there was some debate over whether she was lip-synching or just simply magic. At least nobody invited Lupe Fiasco, though, after he called Obama a child killer, right? Oh.

In something of a first, The BBC Sound Of… title went to a band, Haim rather than a pasty-faced singer-songwriter.

Lawyers seized the rights to George Clinton's back catalogue.

Split: Shrag, Racehorses, SCUM
Closed: The Independent, Sunderland, Virgin Megastores in Paris; OneUp, Aberdeen, Artrocker's print edition
Back: Black Flag

[Part of 2013 Steps To Nowhere]
Tomorrow: February.


Thursday, December 19, 2013

Bookmarks: Vince Guaraldi

CBC shares 10 Things You Didn't Know About Vince Guaraldi's Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack. Including how Coca-Cola screwed up the original:

7. In the original Peanuts special, the end chorus to “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” trails off oddly. This is because Coca-Cola sponsored the original broadcast, and this was the point where a voiceover would say, “Brought to you by the people in your town who bought Coca-Cola.”


TV on the radio - again

TeamRock, one of the 793 digital rock radio stations currently plying their trade, has done a deal with the BBC to do a rerun of Tommy Vance's last-ever Friday rock show from Radio One.

That's interesting, but this is even more tantalising:

John Moran, BBC Radio Head of Business Affairs, said: “We are pleased to be working with TeamRock to begin to unlock the BBC radio archive for further broadcast through new partnerships with commercial radio. The digital rebroadcast of this programme shows how gems from the archive can still reach new audiences.”
There hangs the possibility of other shows being dusted down and rebroadcast. And you know what eight-letter name that means, don't you?

Mark Page.

No, hang on:

John Peel.

Those sessions you neglected to tape in the 80s and 90s, and Marc Riley has yet to rebroadcast? Time to send nice letters to Absolute Radio...


Wednesday, December 18, 2013

I collect, I reject: Blur

Oh god. Oh god. Oh holy god. I cannot decide if it would be worse to discover that Blur think this:

... is "ironic", or if they're deadly serious.

A Blur flat cap.

(There's also a tea set.)

A Blur flat cap. It's such a terrible thing, I want to buy one to wear just so that I can be sure of being able to find a person wearing one - me - to slap about the face with a copy of SugarApe.

Oh god. You can just imagine them honking when this came to be signed off, can't you? You can just picture Alex James, putting down his sodding cheese board to giggle at THE VERY IDEA. You can close your eyes and see Damon Albarn putting his call to Malawi on hold to pull on a prototype. You can see Phil Daniels walking through the back of the shot, wearing one.

Damien Hirst is using a Bedazzler to cover his in Swarovski crystals.

It's a Blur flat cap.

And there's also a tea set.

Stuart Maconie was unavailable for comment, but reports suggested he was eating every one of the 272 pages of every copy of 3862 Days that was ever published, in the hope that it might make it stop.

Blur have launched a flat cap. With their logo on.

Graham Coxon has produced a Venn Diagram, with "northern" and "southern" sections, and the word IRONY written in the middle.

A flat cap. From Blur.


Justin Bieber cruelly raises our hopes

Justin Bieber is teasing us:

No amount of holiday gifts could compensate for the fact that Justin Bieber told L.A. radio station Power 106 Tuesday that he’s calling it quits after his new album, “Journals,” is released on Dec. 23.

“Um, I’m actually, I’m retiring man, I’m retiring,” Bieber said with a straight face behind black shades.

He added that he’s “just going to take some time. I think I’m probably going to quit music.”
That's already backtracking right there, from retiring to taking some time, and 'probably ' quitting.

It's not entirely clear what job Bieber has had in music from which he's retiring; experts suggested he might be referring to the work he's done in the entertainment industry posing for CD sleeve photographs.

Iain Duncan Smith issued a statement: "While I'm keen for most people to work and work until their pathetic bodies crumble to dust, I'm happy to make an exception in Bieber's case, and wish him well in his new life of watching Homes Under The Hammer and nipping down the Co-Op to fight for a reduced to clear chicken pie."


Thugobit: Ronnie Biggs

Ronnie Biggs, who was part of a gang who beat an elderly train driver with a metal bar, has died.

For years, Biggs lived in Brazil and performed a canary-in-the-coalmine role in British music, outing the more dimwitted stars of the scene and removing any lingering doubt that they might be admirable.

The fawning of The Sex Pistols is well-known, but let's also take a couple of moments to remember this:

Ah, what larks - that's got it all: Shaun Ryder, a criminal, being brought together by Rupert Murdoch's Sun in a stunt organised by Piers Morgan. Even Hercules would have trouble cleaning that one up.

Biggs also helped push his son into the music business. Michael was a member of child band Turma do Balão Mágico, who did things like this:

Of course, Biggs wasn't the only member of the train-driver beating gang who was taken to the hearts of the more low-wattaged amongst British musicians: Phil Collins played one of them in the film Buster, for example.

Tonight BBC One is showing yet another programme about the train robbery, but you don't need to waste your time as Paul Hardcastle did the same thing, faster, and also found time to include the St Valentines Day Massacre:


Jack Mills died in 1970. Although the violence meted out by Biggs' gang was never officially linked to his death, he had never recovered full health following the attack.


Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Morrissey self-censors, helps destroy animals

Morrissey's signed a copy of his fabled autobiography, and is auctioning it off to raise money for PETA.

Odd choice of charity for someone who is usually such a fundamentalist on animal rights, given how they've euthanized tens of thousands of animals, explaining it away as animals which would be killed anyway:

PETA told the Daily Mail that the animals they take in at the center are usually difficult to find homes for and would presumably end up being euthanized anyway: “Most of the animals we take in are society’s rejects: aggressive, on death’s door or somehow unadoptable,” Dollinger noted.
The pile of corpses includes rabbits, whose aggressive tendencies are well known; even if it's true, any animal charity that can't make the promise that they'll never euthanise a healthy animal is probably less deserving of support than one that can.

Still, that's only a small compromise compared with the other one Mozzer's made in the last few days:
Singer Morrissey has left fans in the U.S. baffled after his best-selling memoir was released Stateside minus the details of his relationship with a male photographer.
[...]
The tome, titled Autobiography, details several anecdotes involving Walters, and Morrissey writes movingly of their two years together, but in the U.S. release, which was published on Tuesday (03Dec13), many details in the original book are missing or edited down.

A photograph of Walters as a boy has also been removed, and his name has been cut out of a story detailing a night out with The Pretenders star Chrissie Hynde.
Because, of course, people buying a book about Morrissey are going to find that sort of thing off-putting.

Perhaps there's some sense in giving money to a compromised charity from a compromised book.


Ruslana summoned

Amongst the politicians and others who have been summoned by the Ukranian authorities to account for their pro-EU activities in Independence Square is Ruslana.

Yes, this Ruslana:


Bookmarks: R Kelly

If you read nothing else today, you should read Jessica Hopper's interview with Jim DeRogatis, about his long, lonely attempt to shine a light into R Kelly's behaviour, and the free pass he gets from Pitchfork and others who should know better:

This deeply troubles me: There's a very -- I don't know what the percentage is -- some percentage of fans are liking Kelly's music because they know. And that's really troublesome to me. There is some sort of -- and this is tied up to complicated questions of racism and sexism -- there is some sort of vicarious thrill to seeing this guy play this character in these songs and knowing that it's not just a character!

Songs like "Sexasaurus" kind of makes it novel. The ironic, jokey Trapped in the Closet series airs on the Independent Film Channel and features Will Oldham -- that has these other hallmarks of "art" that read to a white, hipster, indie-rock audience, then, because we are not taking certain things seriously, we can choose not to take the lives of these young black women seriously.

It puts it in the realm of camp or kitsch. If you have an emotional reaction to a work of art and you use all your skills as a critic to back it up with evidence and context. That's all we can ask of anybody. We're all viewing art differently. The joy is in the conversation. Pitchfork is the premier critical organ in the United States for smart discussion of music, books, and artists, but it doesn't have this discussion. Reviews his records but doesn't have the conversation about, "What does it say for us to like his music?"


Monday, December 16, 2013

James Arthur is sorry for being homophobic, or at least being found out

So once again we must try and remember who James Arthur is, as his first strategy to defend his homophobic behaviour - by saying it's okay to call someone a fucking queer providing they're straight and you do it in an inept rap - is replaced by what to an untrained eye would look like a last-ditch media strategy pulled together by his management.

He's gone to the Sun to say sorry:

James admits he feels the diss rap was a mistake and says it is one of his most childish moments: "On reflection, it was the most immature, ridiculous thing I've ever done.

"The word 'queer' was used in the rap, which should never have been the case. In society, you can't use language like that. I'm 100 million per cent not homophobic and I despise that label being attached to me. I probably look like the archetypal bully. Now people look at me as if I might beat up a gay guy. That really upsets me.

"I totally understand what I did was wrong. If I could take it back, I would do that in a heartbeat."
It's not clear when this understanding came, because certainly he tried to suggest it was everyone else who had misunderstood.
James told The Sun: "I've been an idiot. All I can say is it was ego - foolish, foolish pride. I got ideas above my station and I made mistakes. It's the only excuse I've got."

"All my confidence has disappeared because the whole nation thinks I'm a homophobe who looks like a monster," he admitted.

"I couldn't speak to anyone for a week. It was awful. My little sister was being bullied in school and I was receiving constant death threats. I stayed in bed for days on end. Any time I tried to get up, I couldn't. I felt deep, deep shame about my mistakes since winning the show. I kept thinking, 'What the fuck have I done?'"
That his sister was bullied was unacceptable - she's not to blame for the actions of her brother, however unpleasant they were - and if there were death threats, then that's wrong, too. (Who would issue a death threat over an idiot being an idiot, though? Are these threats any more genuine than the apology is?)

James worries that he's let people down:
James also accepts that his behaviour has embarrassed his record label and let down fans that looked up to him: "What I need you to know is that I do regret everything I've done. I abandoned my responsibility as a role model. A 16-year-old kid reading about the things I said and did would probably have lost a lot of respect for me."
I think the surprise here is that James seems to believe he's some sort of role model in the first place; presumably in the same way that Jedward are fashion icons and Steve Brookstein is an oracle.

Most 16 year-olds would, I suspect, have sighed, been unsurprised and moved on.

The reason why I have my suspicions about the sincerity of this apology is that it doesn't appear on Arthur's website; his Facebook page; nor in his Twitter feed. In fact, if the idea is to tell the small portion of people who look up to him that he fucked up, it's odd he's made no effort to admit his mistakes in places where they might congregate.

Also, with all this regret about the mistakes he's made, he's turned the page by, er, continuing to slag off Lucy Spraggan for calling him out:
"I'm not a fan," he told The Sun.

"She's a talented girl, but she has a mammoth ego. We have the same management. They are disgusted by what she did.

"I respect she's got strong beliefs in gay rights, but she tried to expose me. She knew it would stick the knife in and damage my career."
Surely you mean, James, she provided a chance for you to think about your mistakes and to make your apology, right? Because otherwise it sounds like you kind-of wish that your actions hadn't been noticed and you'd have gotten away with it. And that can't be the case, can it?


Whigfield: Ray Price resurrected

Yesterday, Ray Price's son announced his father had died. It turns out he might have been a bit early:

Rolling Stone spoke with Janie Price, Ray Price's wife of 45 years, and she says, "He is still with us," adding that Price's son released the statement of his passing prematurely. Price is currently surrounded by loved ones including a Pastor at home in Mount Pleasant, Texas. "It's been an honor to walk this road with him," Janie says of her husband. "It's a sad day. We are losing a great man."
It's unclear how his son came to be rushing him off ahead of schedule.


Sunday, December 15, 2013

Two Macaulay Culkin stories pointing in opposite directions

This sounds positive:

Macaulay Culkin's new girlfriend Jordan Lane Price has reportedly helped him beat drugs after threatening to walk away.

... but I'm not sure it's worked:
We Saw Macaulay Culkin’s Pizza-Themed Velvet Underground Cover Band Last Night


This week just gone

I was bored on Christmas Day: Most-read things on No Rock on Christmas Days past:

2012:
One Direction go rock
2011:
Ricky Wilson uses gossip to atone for Kaiser Chiefs doing An Audience With Girls Aloud
2010:
HMV explain that their solution to a disabled-hostile building was to put the children's section downstairs
2009:
RIP Vic Chesnutt
2008:
2008 Albums of the year


These rushed to market in time for Christmas:


Toy - Join The Dots


Download Join The Dots



Robert Pollard - Blazing Gentleman


Download Blazing Gentleman



The Len Bright Combo - Combo Time


Download Combo Time



Everything But The Girl - Best Of 1984 - 1994


Download The Platinum Collection


Saturday, December 14, 2013

Just to be clear

If they're asking questions about you on Jeopardy, you're not really an alternative any more.


[via Brooklyn Vegan]


The Courteneers are taking a year out

The Courteeners are planning a quiet year next year, apparently. They're going on hiatus:

Speaking to Tim Cocker on the XFM Manchester Breakfast Show earlier today (December 13), the band's frontman Liam Fray said that the gig the band are set to play at Manchester Arena tonight will be "the last one we do for a while".

He commented: "I'm not going to say for a long time cos I don't know. We played a lot of gigs this year and we've played those songs a lot, I think we need to go away and decide which ones work best, what we like and reassess really for the next 'phase'". Fray added that 2014 will "definitely be quieter", saying: "The arena will be your last chance to dance for a while... At least a year."
Actually, that could just be a threat that he's going to break everyone's ankles based on that last sentence.

It's hard to know how we can face a New Year without The Courteeners in it, but we must try to be brave, everybody. Be brave.


Vaccines album release schedule 'impossible to put into iCal'

The Vaccines are working on a new album. Possibly. It seems to have 'cheque's in the post' status:

Young explained to XFM that the band have already started writing the follow-up to 2012's 'Come Of Age', but that fans might have to wait a while to hear it. He commented:

"We've always written in quite a solitary manner so we've actually already started writing the next record. I kind of feel by admitting that people are going to expect it sooner than perhaps we're ready to put it out."

He added: "We're not set on releasing it any time soon. When we feel like we've made the best record we're capable of making, which is hopefully sooner rather than later, then we'll put it out and we're halfway to doing that really."
That's clear, then, they're halfway to making the best record, and it's going to be sooner rather than later, but don't expect it sooner, so it'll be coming later.

In other words: expect the release three weeks after the label loses patience.


Friday, December 13, 2013

Beyonce springs a Christmas surprise

'Releasing records without prior announcement' is the new 'putting a record onto the torrents, pretending it's leaked, making a fuss, and then "bringing forward" the "original release date" in line with the marketing plan'.

Beyonce has just blitzreleased a new album, just in time for Christmas - although, you'll note, way too late for Hanukkah.

Sorry, did I say album? I forgot that this release come pre-wrapped with some old bollocks:

Beyonce Unexpectedly Releases New Self-Titled 'Visual Album' on iTunes
Yes, this is a 'visual album' which you might want to see as an astonishing new development in music, or else something that Thomas Dolby did in 1994 with The Gate To The Minds Eye.

It's fair to say that while the world is thrilled to have a new Beyonce album, and impressed at the idea of lobbing the thing out when it's ready, rather than running a long build-up campaign, the "visual album" aspect is going down like a high concept in a low crowd.

Here's how Beyonce describes it:
"I see music," Beyonce said in a video announcing the album on her Facebook page, dubbed "Self-Titled, Part 1." “It’s more than just what I hear. When I’m connected to something, I immediately see a visual or a series of images that are tied to a feeling or an emotion, a memory from my childhood, thoughts about life, my dreams or my fantasies. And they’re all connected to the music.”
CMU's Andy Malt was unimpressed:


There is a possibility that Beyonce has rushed this one out because she was feeling uncomfortable at the prospect of six months of marketing meeetings where everyone else in the room tried not to snicker as she outlined her vision.


Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Swervedriver return. But wait, there's more.

Swervedriver came back last year; this year, though, they're releasing music for the first time in a decade and a half.

That would be enough to get us all giddy. But can you make us giddier, Line Of Best Fit?

“Deep Wound” was previewed live last year and finally experiences a standalone release this week. The track features Ride‘s Mark Gardener on backing vocals too.
Giddy-to-falling-over-levels.


Do you ever find yourself wondering what Natasha Hamilton is up to these days?

Of course you don't.

Still, since we've brought it up, she's keeping herself busy as a latter-day Jimmy Savile.

Not like that.

A school in Hornsey rolled out the red carpet when one of the Atomic Kittens dropped by.

Pop star Natasha Hamilton visited Rokesly Infant School, in Hermiston Avenue, to teach children about road safety.
Still, a gig's a gig, eh? And a solo gig is a... hang on... you say this wasn't a solo gig?
She teamed up with the character Belt from the children’s film The Croods to mark Belt Up Week.
I suppose if you're playing second fiddle, better a fictional sloth than Kerry Katona, eh?

The reason why this school was chosen is a bit odd:
The school was one of only five schools from across the country to be recognised for its contribution to road safety over the years.
If the school is one of the five best at road safety, wouldn't it make more sense for Belt and Kitten to go and visit one of the ones that are less good at it?


Kim Wilde has eyes as wide as saucers

To be fair, the headline does make Kim Wilde sound a bit more detached than the story does:

Singer Wilde sighted UFO after Michael Jackson death
WTVQ kind-of implies that Kim might have been hinting that the UFO was somehow connected to Jackson's death, throwing up a possibility that he might not really have died but gone to live on Pluto, but really she's just using the death to provide a time of sighting.

Because Kim's a bit psychic, see?
The Kids in America hitmaker is convinced she and many of her family possess mild psychic powers, and the extraterrestrial sighting from the back yard of her home in England in 2009 convinced her.
I'm not entirely sure why one would need to have a psychic power to see something from another planet - unless, of course, it was a ghost UFO.
Wilde tells The New Review magazine, "Maybe a part of me was quite psychic, because we have strong psychics in my family, especially on my father's side... I am tuned into it, a little bit. I don't see ghosts and stuff but I did see something very unusual in the sky once, which I can only say was a UFO. But there were lots of witnesses, it was in the local paper, it wasn't just me...
Does that mean that all those other witnesses were also a little bit psychic? Perhaps this spaceship was hovering over a nearby Spiritualist Church?
"It was 26 June, the day after Michael Jackson died, and me and my mate were in the garden and we saw bright lights in the sky. I have to say there's not a day gone by that I don't think about what the hell it was. It was so huge, two of them, going zig-zag for 10 minutes and I knew it was really massive. It could be some very clever thing that someone developed somewhere, but I've got a feeling it wasn't."
So it wasn't a clever thing that someone had developed somewhere. Which suggests it was a natural phenomena.

"Woman sees natural event she cannot explain and remembers the day it happened by reference to a story in the news". There's your headline, then.


Von Trapps think NBC have a problem, don't like Maria

The other night, NBC did a three-hour live production of the Sound Of Music. It was something of an oddity for NBC in lots of ways - a three hour programme; a live musical in prime time; a programme that people actually watched.

There's sourness, though, as some of the Von Trapp family are bitching over the casting of Carrie Underwood as Maria. It's fair to say nobody has looked at Maria this angrily since Elsa Schräder saw her come back from the abbey.

“I found the overall production to be completely underwhelming and mediocre at best,” blogged Francois von Trapp. “I kept wondering why NBC would settle for a community theater quality production.”

Francois, a University of New Hampshire grad, is the daughter of Trapp Family Singers’ Rupert von Trapp, who was portrayed as Friedrich in “The Sound of Music.” She took to her blog over the weekend to defend her criticism of Underwood’s performance.

“I have nothing against her personally,” she said. “She’s an extremely tal­ented country singer, but I’m pretty sure my father is repeatedly rolling over in his grave.”
'Yeah, I did that thing where you balance a glass of water on the headstone, and it was definitely wobbling, so he was turning in his grave. Or maybe it was nearby fracking.'

It turns out the Von Trapps had their own proposal for how you might solve a problem like casting Maria:
Francois’ nephew, Myles von Trapp Derbyshire, added that Underwood didn’t have the “acting experience” to pull off the role. “Although her voice is amazing,” he added.

Myles told ABC the von Trapps, who turned their homestead in Stowe, Vt., into a family-run 3A-star resort, got together and decided who they would have cast as the singing ex-nun: “Les Miserables” star Anne Hathaway.
Yeah, we'd all rather have Anne Hathaway as our grandma, Myles.


Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Katy Perry: Putting the 'part' into 'bipartisan'

You know, the hardest thing for the Obama White House - besides the questions about the way their drones keep raining death down on the heads of people thousands of miles away - is trying to navigate the deep rift between the parties in America.

Still, the inauguration is a good time to try and overcome those divisions, isn't it? To remember that Obama is the nation's president, not just a Democratic president. That's why its a cultural event as much as a political one, and why singers like Katy Perry are invited along. To be inclusive. After all, if Perry's family can straddle a political fault line, why can't America, right?

Hang on, what's that, Perry?

Pop star Katy Perry, who will be featured on the cover of the January 2014 issue of Marie Claire, told the magazine that she refused to allow her parents to watch her sing at President Obama’s inauguration “on principle,” and because they are Republicans.

“My parents are Republicans, and I’m not. They didn’t vote for Obama, but when I was asked to sing at the inauguration, they were like, ‘We can come.’ And I was like, ‘No, you can’t,’” she told the magazine.
Yes. Because the idea of someone who didn't vote for Obama not attending one of his inaugurations is impossible to even conceive, isn't it?


Sunday, December 08, 2013

Heart turn down Seaworld

Following Blackfish - the movie which said the things a lot of people have been saying about Seaworld for years - bands are starting to pull gigs at the whale-torture fun park.

Heart have just said no:

"Heart has chosen to decline their forthcoming performance at SeaWorld on 2/9/14 due to the controversial documentary film 'Black Fish.'" the band said Sunday on its verified Twitter account.

Sisters Nancy and Ann Wilson did not elaborate.

But the duo isn't the first to cancel a concert at the Florida theme park because of the film.
Country singer Willie Nelson and Canadian rock act Barenaked Ladies also pulled the plug on their shows.
It's a slightly oddly worded tweet - kind of suggesting that they're avoiding the place because of the controversey than because of the practices at the park - but anything that helps hasten the end of captive orcas helps, I guess.


This week just gone

The most-read stuff from across the site in the last month:

1. With two tweets, Charlotte Church makes Louise Mensch crumble
2. KT Tunstall blames sexuality rumours on her braces
3. Ian Watkins changes his plea
4. Tatu can't figure out why people think they're gay
5. James Arthur returns to Twitter to make things worse
6. Miley Cyrus turns ruined anniversary into PR moment
7. The last ever Mark & Lard
8. Remember that time Eminem sold his wedding to Hello?
9. Simon LeBon calls out Robin Thicke
10. Video: Tori Amos - Jackie's Strength

These things you could buy, for Christmas or whatever:


Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Live From KCRW


Download Live from KCRW



British Sea Power - From The Sea To The Land Beyond


Download From The Sea To The Land Beyond



Muse - Live at Rome


Download Live at Rome