Just to be clear

If they're asking questions about you on Jeopardy, you're not really an alternative any more.


[via Brooklyn Vegan]

The Courteneers are taking a year out

The Courteeners are planning a quiet year next year, apparently. They're going on hiatus:

Speaking to Tim Cocker on the XFM Manchester Breakfast Show earlier today (December 13), the band's frontman Liam Fray said that the gig the band are set to play at Manchester Arena tonight will be "the last one we do for a while".

He commented: "I'm not going to say for a long time cos I don't know. We played a lot of gigs this year and we've played those songs a lot, I think we need to go away and decide which ones work best, what we like and reassess really for the next 'phase'". Fray added that 2014 will "definitely be quieter", saying: "The arena will be your last chance to dance for a while... At least a year."

Actually, that could just be a threat that he's going to break everyone's ankles based on that last sentence.

It's hard to know how we can face a New Year without The Courteeners in it, but we must try to be brave, everybody. Be brave.

Vaccines album release schedule 'impossible to put into iCal'

The Vaccines are working on a new album. Possibly. It seems to have 'cheque's in the post' status:

Young explained to XFM that the band have already started writing the follow-up to 2012's 'Come Of Age', but that fans might have to wait a while to hear it. He commented:

"We've always written in quite a solitary manner so we've actually already started writing the next record. I kind of feel by admitting that people are going to expect it sooner than perhaps we're ready to put it out."

He added: "We're not set on releasing it any time soon. When we feel like we've made the best record we're capable of making, which is hopefully sooner rather than later, then we'll put it out and we're halfway to doing that really."

That's clear, then, they're halfway to making the best record, and it's going to be sooner rather than later, but don't expect it sooner, so it'll be coming later.

In other words: expect the release three weeks after the label loses patience.

Beyonce springs a Christmas surprise

'Releasing records without prior announcement' is the new 'putting a record onto the torrents, pretending it's leaked, making a fuss, and then "bringing forward" the "original release date" in line with the marketing plan'.

Beyonce has just blitzreleased a new album, just in time for Christmas - although, you'll note, way too late for Hanukkah.

Sorry, did I say album? I forgot that this release come pre-wrapped with some old bollocks:

Beyonce Unexpectedly Releases New Self-Titled 'Visual Album' on iTunes

Yes, this is a 'visual album' which you might want to see as an astonishing new development in music, or else something that Thomas Dolby did in 1994 with The Gate To The Minds Eye.

It's fair to say that while the world is thrilled to have a new Beyonce album, and impressed at the idea of lobbing the thing out when it's ready, rather than running a long build-up campaign, the "visual album" aspect is going down like a high concept in a low crowd.

Here's how Beyonce describes it:

"I see music," Beyonce said in a video announcing the album on her Facebook page, dubbed "Self-Titled, Part 1." “It’s more than just what I hear. When I’m connected to something, I immediately see a visual or a series of images that are tied to a feeling or an emotion, a memory from my childhood, thoughts about life, my dreams or my fantasies. And they’re all connected to the music.”

CMU's Andy Malt was unimpressed:

In the PR, Beyoncé talks about the experience of listening to music triggering images in her mind tied to memories, emotions and dreams.

— Andy Malt (@andymalt) December 13, 2013

They missed off the end of the quote where she says "Because I am the only person this happens to, I made videos for ever song on the album"

— Andy Malt (@andymalt) December 13, 2013

There is a possibility that Beyonce has rushed this one out because she was feeling uncomfortable at the prospect of six months of marketing meeetings where everyone else in the room tried not to snicker as she outlined her vision.

Swervedriver return. But wait, there's more.

Swervedriver came back last year; this year, though, they're releasing music for the first time in a decade and a half.

That would be enough to get us all giddy. But can you make us giddier, Line Of Best Fit?

“Deep Wound” was previewed live last year and finally experiences a standalone release this week. The track features Ride‘s Mark Gardener on backing vocals too.

Giddy-to-falling-over-levels.

Do you ever find yourself wondering what Natasha Hamilton is up to these days?

Of course you don't.

Still, since we've brought it up, she's keeping herself busy as a latter-day Jimmy Savile.

Not like that.

A school in Hornsey rolled out the red carpet when one of the Atomic Kittens dropped by.

Pop star Natasha Hamilton visited Rokesly Infant School, in Hermiston Avenue, to teach children about road safety.

Still, a gig's a gig, eh? And a solo gig is a... hang on... you say this wasn't a solo gig?

She teamed up with the character Belt from the children’s film The Croods to mark Belt Up Week.

I suppose if you're playing second fiddle, better a fictional sloth than Kerry Katona, eh?

The reason why this school was chosen is a bit odd:

The school was one of only five schools from across the country to be recognised for its contribution to road safety over the years.

If the school is one of the five best at road safety, wouldn't it make more sense for Belt and Kitten to go and visit one of the ones that are less good at it?

Kim Wilde has eyes as wide as saucers

To be fair, the headline does make Kim Wilde sound a bit more detached than the story does:

Singer Wilde sighted UFO after Michael Jackson death

WTVQ kind-of implies that Kim might have been hinting that the UFO was somehow connected to Jackson's death, throwing up a possibility that he might not really have died but gone to live on Pluto, but really she's just using the death to provide a time of sighting.

Because Kim's a bit psychic, see?

The Kids in America hitmaker is convinced she and many of her family possess mild psychic powers, and the extraterrestrial sighting from the back yard of her home in England in 2009 convinced her.

I'm not entirely sure why one would need to have a psychic power to see something from another planet - unless, of course, it was a ghost UFO.

Wilde tells The New Review magazine, "Maybe a part of me was quite psychic, because we have strong psychics in my family, especially on my father's side... I am tuned into it, a little bit. I don't see ghosts and stuff but I did see something very unusual in the sky once, which I can only say was a UFO. But there were lots of witnesses, it was in the local paper, it wasn't just me...

Does that mean that all those other witnesses were also a little bit psychic? Perhaps this spaceship was hovering over a nearby Spiritualist Church?

"It was 26 June, the day after Michael Jackson died, and me and my mate were in the garden and we saw bright lights in the sky. I have to say there's not a day gone by that I don't think about what the hell it was. It was so huge, two of them, going zig-zag for 10 minutes and I knew it was really massive. It could be some very clever thing that someone developed somewhere, but I've got a feeling it wasn't."

So it wasn't a clever thing that someone had developed somewhere. Which suggests it was a natural phenomena.

"Woman sees natural event she cannot explain and remembers the day it happened by reference to a story in the news". There's your headline, then.

Von Trapps think NBC have a problem, don't like Maria

The other night, NBC did a three-hour live production of the Sound Of Music. It was something of an oddity for NBC in lots of ways - a three hour programme; a live musical in prime time; a programme that people actually watched.

There's sourness, though, as some of the Von Trapp family are bitching over the casting of Carrie Underwood as Maria. It's fair to say nobody has looked at Maria this angrily since Elsa Schräder saw her come back from the abbey.

“I found the overall production to be completely underwhelming and mediocre at best,” blogged Francois von Trapp. “I kept wondering why NBC would settle for a community theater quality production.”

Francois, a University of New Hampshire grad, is the daughter of Trapp Family Singers’ Rupert von Trapp, who was portrayed as Friedrich in “The Sound of Music.” She took to her blog over the weekend to defend her criticism of Underwood’s performance.

“I have nothing against her personally,” she said. “She’s an extremely tal­ented country singer, but I’m pretty sure my father is repeatedly rolling over in his grave.”

'Yeah, I did that thing where you balance a glass of water on the headstone, and it was definitely wobbling, so he was turning in his grave. Or maybe it was nearby fracking.'

It turns out the Von Trapps had their own proposal for how you might solve a problem like casting Maria:

Francois’ nephew, Myles von Trapp Derbyshire, added that Underwood didn’t have the “acting experience” to pull off the role. “Although her voice is amazing,” he added.

Myles told ABC the von Trapps, who turned their homestead in Stowe, Vt., into a family-run 3A-star resort, got together and decided who they would have cast as the singing ex-nun: “Les Miserables” star Anne Hathaway.

Yeah, we'd all rather have Anne Hathaway as our grandma, Myles.

Katy Perry: Putting the 'part' into 'bipartisan'

You know, the hardest thing for the Obama White House - besides the questions about the way their drones keep raining death down on the heads of people thousands of miles away - is trying to navigate the deep rift between the parties in America.

Still, the inauguration is a good time to try and overcome those divisions, isn't it? To remember that Obama is the nation's president, not just a Democratic president. That's why its a cultural event as much as a political one, and why singers like Katy Perry are invited along. To be inclusive. After all, if Perry's family can straddle a political fault line, why can't America, right?

Hang on, what's that, Perry?

Pop star Katy Perry, who will be featured on the cover of the January 2014 issue of Marie Claire, told the magazine that she refused to allow her parents to watch her sing at President Obama’s inauguration “on principle,” and because they are Republicans.

“My parents are Republicans, and I’m not. They didn’t vote for Obama, but when I was asked to sing at the inauguration, they were like, ‘We can come.’ And I was like, ‘No, you can’t,’” she told the magazine.

Yes. Because the idea of someone who didn't vote for Obama not attending one of his inaugurations is impossible to even conceive, isn't it?

Heart turn down Seaworld

Following Blackfish - the movie which said the things a lot of people have been saying about Seaworld for years - bands are starting to pull gigs at the whale-torture fun park.

Heart have just said no:

"Heart has chosen to decline their forthcoming performance at SeaWorld on 2/9/14 due to the controversial documentary film 'Black Fish.'" the band said Sunday on its verified Twitter account.

Sisters Nancy and Ann Wilson did not elaborate.

But the duo isn't the first to cancel a concert at the Florida theme park because of the film.
Country singer Willie Nelson and Canadian rock act Barenaked Ladies also pulled the plug on their shows.

It's a slightly oddly worded tweet - kind of suggesting that they're avoiding the place because of the controversey than because of the practices at the park - but anything that helps hasten the end of captive orcas helps, I guess.

This week just gone

The most-read stuff from across the site in the last month:

1. With two tweets, Charlotte Church makes Louise Mensch crumble
2. KT Tunstall blames sexuality rumours on her braces
3. Ian Watkins changes his plea
4. Tatu can't figure out why people think they're gay
5. James Arthur returns to Twitter to make things worse
6. Miley Cyrus turns ruined anniversary into PR moment
7. The last ever Mark & Lard
8. Remember that time Eminem sold his wedding to Hello?
9. Simon LeBon calls out Robin Thicke
10. Video: Tori Amos - Jackie's Strength

These things you could buy, for Christmas or whatever:


Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Live From KCRW

Download Live from KCRW



British Sea Power - From The Sea To The Land Beyond

Download From The Sea To The Land Beyond



Muse - Live at Rome

Download Live at Rome

Gary Barlow day is ruined

The BBC - presumably sensing it was sailing towards a rerun of the U2 at the BBC disaster - has suddenly got cold feet over Gary Barlow Day.

The day's original plans have been scaled back. These included numerous appearances across Radio 2, along with Gary's face being superimposed on BBC One's swimming hippos; a special edition of Bake Off where contestants had to create cakes shaped like Gary Barlow; Gary dancing in the background of the News At Six; the entire BBC website having every word changed to GARY for ten minutes; Gary doing the travel for BBC Lincolnshire and Barlow running up and down the stairs at New Broadcasting House wearing the skin of Lord Reith.

Now, showing some restraint, the day will instead consist of Jason Orange doing Ken Bruce's popmaster with one question having the answer "Gary Barlow".

When is a Mandela joke not a Mandela joke? Stop asking and just say you're sorry

Simon Amstell was on Radio One yesterday morning, and made a joke at the network's expense:

Amstell said: "What is going on? We're next to 1Xtra, it's so white in here. Mandela would not approve of the situation at the BBC."

When Nick Grimshaw asked why, the guest replied: "Look at all these people in here." Grimshaw answered: "There's a lot of people."

The comedian then said: "Yeah, but look at the segregation that's happened."

He then laughed when the producer of the Breakfast Show, Matt Fincham, said: "I don't think that's the right thing to be saying right now."

Amstell added: "Well, someone had to say it. Mandela would say it if he was here."

Apparently, this silly joke about how the BBC created a station for black music was offensive, somehow, so Amstell has been made to apologise:

"It may have been unclear this morning, as things often are but what came out of this mouth today was silly. Apologies to everyone involved."

Twittergem: Charlotte Church

From Charlotte Church last night, following the news of the death of Nelson Mandela, came a perfect retweet followed by a perfect tweet:

Pygmies of the left so predictably embarrassing yourselves, know this: not a one of your leaders will ever be globally mourned like her.

— Louise Mensch (@LouiseMensch) April 8, 2013

How wrong Louise Mensch was.

— Charlotte Church (@charlottechurch) December 5, 2013

Listen with No Rock: Warpaint

Warpaint are sharing out a free track from the new album. And it's a Biggy. As in that's what it's called, and also how large it is:

Matt Goss hopes sounding kinda stalkery will help the comeback

With that much-promised Bros reunion still very much an unwanted puppy left in the window of a pet shop on Christmas Eve, Matt Goss is trying to keep things moving by sharing a tale about the time his life briefly intersected with that of someone famous:

He told BANG Showbiz: "We had a lunch with her back in the day and it was an extraordinary experience.

"You had a sense that she knew she had a beautiful presence. When you looked into her blue eyes it was very hard not to blush.

"She had that intensity that a woman should have.

"I'm a hopeless romantic, I was flirting with her, of course I was, I tried my best. I like grace and femininity in a woman."

Where do you even begin? If Diana had flirted with you, that might be an anecdote. "I flirted with someone at a dinner thirty years ago" just sounds a bit creepy. Especially when you say you "tried [your] best", like you were attempting to win a goldfish in a fairground.

But I wouldn't worry about coming across a bit creepy, Matt, as the "intensity a woman should have" and "I like grace and femininity" stuff is more than quease-making enough in its own right.

Spotify simultaneously incredibly generous, unbelievably mean

Brilliant news, everybody: Spotify are pouring hundreds of thousands of dollars into rights' holders pockets:

According to Spotify, its new site is designed to provide additional insight into its operation through the use of data and business analysis. As part of that, Spotify said on Monday that it has issued $1 billion in royalties since its inception in 2009. At this time last year, its total royalty payout was at $500 million, meaning during 2013 alone, Spotify has coughed up $500 million in royalties.

On its new Web site, Spotify also tries to make the case that it's exceedingly generous with artists. The company claims to pay nearly 70 percent of its revenue in royalties, adding that "we believe that this is the fair approach to take."

That's excellent, right? Especially since a lot of that cash would never have been handed over in the past, as people would have been simply sucking the tunes off the internet.

I'll go and make dip. We'll have dip and pie to celebrate, right?

Hang on... you look quite glum, Music Week:

As part of a new site specificially built for artists, the company reveals that it has recently paid out an average of $0.006 and $0.0084 per stream to rightsholders.

That figure is presumably a mix of streams on its premium service (thought to be around $0.01 per stream) and its ad-supported free service.

Maybe no pie, then.

Of course, much of this money will, anyone, end up in the key-locking cashbox of labels rather than going towards artist's desire to purchase food and soap.

Spotify reckons that its royalties are roughly double those of YouTube, and more than treble those of Pandora, on a like-for-like basis; it also suggests that a "niche indie album" could earn about three thousand dollars a year. This obviously raises a question of what they consider a niche indie album to be - to me, that sounds like something in the area of a death metal band covering Trembling Blue Stars, but I suspect they could be thinking of something a bit more Primitives-sized.

It's not terrible money, but you really wouldn't be giving up the day job on this alone.

Reggaeobit: Junior Murvin

Junior Murvin, the reggae singer whose Police And Thieves, about Jamaican turf wars, became a soundtrack when the policing at the 1976 Notting Hill Carnival led to a riot, has died.

Murvin's first attempt at music didn't quite work out - a rastaman called Mr Sunny advised him to attend an audition, but his mother, unimpressed by the enthusiasm of Derrick Morgan, Roland Alphonso and Desmond Dekker, called him back home. Luckily, opportunity knocked again, and Murvin started back-up singing - first for Sonia Pottinger, and then for Derrick Harriot.

A return to his birthplace saw him join the band Young Experience, but their lack of a van scuppered them. Three weeks after the split, though, Murvin wrote Police And Thieves - an impressed Lee Perry played the track to an even more impressed Chris Blackwell; a release on Island later, and Murvin had an international hit.

Talking to UnitedReggae last year, Murvin talked about Police And Thieves being covered by The Clash:

I wouldn't even say Police and Thieves is a song. I would say it has moved from a song to a proverb. A proverb is greater than a song, I would put it that way. Music doesn't carry a grievance to nobody. It's just in the lyrical content. Music only talks to you when you play it. Music can't say "hey no play me"". Music can't do that! So as long as the man them sing the conscious things we can uplift the nation with it. But if you deal with violence, violent and downgrading lyrics that call the woman "Gyal" and that sort of thing there "Gyal yuh underwear" and "siddung pon it" I have no business with it.

Murvin was 64. He died from complications from diabetes on Monday 2nd December.

His UnitedReggae interview ended on what sounds a bit like a epitaph:

Tell my fans I wish the best for them and love them and I will always sing until my eyes are closed.

Robbie Williams: I am the 49%

And while we're going through the pile marked "people saying stupid things about homosexuality", it would be wrong to let any more time slide by without recording Robbie Williams' contribution to sexuality studies:

In an interview with the Daily Star, he said: "I love musical theatre and a lot of the other things that are often associated with gays. I am 49% homosexual and sometimes as far as 50%.

I know what you're wondering: How come Williams doesn't score any higher?

However, that would imply that I enjoy having a particular sort of fun, which I don't.

I believe some straight people have expressed surprise at this discovery that the final exam before you get your gay certification works like this, but it's true. Growing up, we've all, surely, had to comfort someone who had put in the hours rimming, cruising, fisting and bitching but failed to get a pass mark because they did poorly on the Rogers And Hammerstein paper. "Sorry, Tom, you know the rules - you might have aced the practical, but if you can't remember the order of the Favourite Things, you're not gay-worthy."

Robbie: Being gay isn't about "liking musical theatre". God only knows what you've got on your list of of "other things associated with the gays" are, but I don't think it matters. Like rimming, cruising, fisting and bitching, those activities like musical theatre and those other things in your mind? They're things that some gay people might do - equally, they're things that some straight people do. Bisexuals do them, too. And pansexuals. But they don't define your sexual orientation.

James Arthur makes watery prime-time sort-of apology

So how would ITV square inviting unacceptable rapper James Arthur onto the channel after sacking unacceptable rapper Chris Fountain?

By getting Arthur to mumble something which sounded like it might have been an apology. DigitalSpy was watching:

Speaking to Dermot O'Leary on tonight's show, he said: "It's been an amazing year for me. There's been incredible highs paired with some terrible lows. I've made a few very silly mistakes.

"I just want to thank all the people who are still supporting me and especially The X Factor for giving me the opportunity to do my dream job.

"Above all, I'd like to say sorry for abusing my position as an X Factor winner, because I owe everything to this thing."

First of all: "abusing my position as an X Factor winner" - that's not even a thing, James. It's not like you're the chair of the Co-Op Bank, or Cabinet Secretary. Nobody thinks your homophobia would be okay if you'd not made it through to Boot Camp.

Secondly: Even if it was a thing, that's not what you should be apologising for, and not who you should be apologising to.

No indication that he understands why what he did was terrible; no suggestion that he shouldn't have said those things. ITV have managed to make things worse.

Soukousobit: Tabu Ley Rochereau

Soukous pioneer Tabu Ley Rochereau has died.

During the period of Mobutu Sese Seko regime, Tabu Ley spent years living in exile - including a spell in Southern California - before returning home in 1997.

He'd first became famous after singing on Indépendance Cha Cha, which celebrated Congolese independence from Belguim:



He stayed with Africa Jazz for a few years, before founding first African Fiesta National and then Orchestre Afrisa International. En route, he helped establish the careers of Papa Wemba, Sam Mangwana, Faya Tess and M'bilia Bel. The latter would also become his wife.

As well as pretty much creating soukous, the Congolese musician also had a political career - he eventually became vice-governor of Kinshasha. He also, apparently, found time to father 68 children and write over 3,000 songs.

Tabu Ley suffered a stroke in 2008, from which he never recovered; he was receiving treatment for the after-effects when he died.

Here's just a couple of those 3,000 songs:

Miley Cyrus ruins anniversary; apparently shows how lovely she is

This piece from ContactMusic reeks of a press team rushing a story out to avoid the risk of someone else getting there first:

Miley Cyrus paid for a couple's meal after she disturbed them in a restaurant.
The 'Wrecking Ball' singer was reportedly noisy and caused a scene when she and a friend went into an upmarket eatery in New York, but after a couple complained, she immediately went over to apologise.

A witness explained to the National Enquirer: ''She went over and apologised and told the folks, 'I'm sorry, I've just had too much caffeine today.' Then she asked the couple about themselves.''

The pair were celebrating their second wedding anniversary, so generous Miley left $100 to cover their bill and posed for pictures with them.

Miley may be famous for her risqué outfits and twerking dance moves, but many people are surprised to find she is actually very down-to-earth and polite.

Yeah, because what could be more down-to-earth and polite than ruining someone's wedding anniversary, throwing money at the problem to make it go away and then leaking the story to the papers to show how great you are?

This week just gone

The most-read November stories:

1. Ian Watkins changes his plea to guilty
2. James Arthur returns to Twitter to defend his homophobic asshattery
3. Simon LeBon worries about filth being flung at pop kids
4. BPI, RIAA ignore licence terms on software
5. Video: Tori Amos - Jackie's Strength
6. Tony Hall has big plans for Radio One
7. Britney Spears has come to save music
8. James Arthur: It's not homophobic if you're talking to a straight guy
9. Buy an indie compilation; help the homeless; see a picture of Grant Shapps in a sleeping bag
10. JFK-related pop music special

This week's releases sound kinda interesting:


Shearwater - Fellow Travelers

Download Fellow Travelers



Brendan Benson - You Were Right

Download You Were Right



Darkside by Tom Stoppard

Download Darkside



Various - Love, Poetry and Revolution

Venuewatch: The Hydro

There's trouble at the Hydro, the music venue spin-off of the SECC in Glasgow. A few weeks after it opened with a Rod Stewart gig, the manager has quit. There's a lot of politeness about it public:

The SECC said: "John believes this is the natural time to take on his next career challenge and allow a new successor to consolidate the potential of the new, expanded SECC campus and enlarged business. He will announce his future plans at a later date."

City council chief executive George Black said: "Having driven this complex and successful project to completion, I wish John well in his future endeavours."

Mr Sharkey said: "It is undoubtedly a massive privilege to have had the opportunity to see the SSE Hydro from its gestation through construction to its successful opening and now it's time for me to take on another challenge."

According to the Herald, though, behind the scenes there's been a hell of a battle over the size of salaries being paid by the project. Not to everyone, of course. Just to the management.

HMV pulls Lostprophets from the shelves

I suppose, pragmatically, there's not a person in the country who would want to buy a Lostprophets record in public now, and in that sense HMV's decision to remove their records from stores makes sense.

On the other hand, it's an interesting precedent that HMV has set, now it's decided that conviction for some child abuse crimes makes an artist's work unacceptable. But only some - Roman Polanski's drugging and rape of a girl, for example, is not a a bar to the chain selling his work; and their Gary Glitter artist page even mentions his convictions while still offering a chance to buy his tracks.

I don't think it's a bad move to have a policy on this. It's just not clear what HMV's policy is.

Pixies split again

What is it with bassists called Kim and the Pixies?

They've just lost the second one in a year. Kim Shattuck posted this to Facebook:

Super disappointed to learn that my time with the Pixies ended today. Amazing experience. Looking forward to focusing my attention back on the Muffs and our upcoming new album. All the best to everyone.

This shouldn't be too much of a surprise - if you had suspicions that she was being viewed as hired help, Tom Howard's Pixies piece in the NME last week would have confirmed it. The manager wouldn't let Howard talk to Shattuck; when he asked Black Francis why, he was told to ask the manager.

Lawson suddenly care what other people think

It's about other people:

Lawson want Rita Ora to be in their next video but are afraid of annoying her boyfriend Calvin Harris.

Oh, Lawson, everything you do annoys Calvin Harris. And anyone else who has ears. Why suddenly start worrying about that now?

ITV apparently OK with James Arthur's homophobia

Here's a surprise: homophobic tosser James Arthur is due to appear on The X Factor this Sunday, and ITV are okay with that:

A spokesperson says, "Both Itv and the producers of The X Factor would like to make it clear that in no way do we support, condone or share any form of homophobia or discrimination.

"Following his comments James has since apologised last week, making it clear that he did not mean to cause any offence and explaining the context behind his remarks."

Yes, ITV seem to be endorsing Arthur's tortuous 'it's not hateful providing you know the guy you're calling a fucking queer is straight' logic.

The odd thing, though, is that when Coronation Street's Chris Fountain was revealed to have pushed an ill-advised rap video to the internet, ITV were less forgiving:

An ITV spokesperson said: "Chris Fountain's contract with ITV has been terminated as a result of the unacceptable comments he made in a number of online clips."

But Chris Fountain also "explained the context", said he didn't mean to cause offence and apologised profusely. He was still sacked.

Not quite sure what the difference is, unless ITV really is so scared of Simon Cowell it's quite happy to apply double standards. But it couldn't be that, right?

Only fools and horses: Dappy takes a tumble

I'm sure all our thoughts and prayers are with Dappy, who cannot ride a horse:

Dappy's representative, Terry Mills, says, “I can confirm that my client was involved in a horse riding accident at home where he fell from his horse and was subsequently kicked in the face.

“Dappy was rushed to hospital where he received medical treatment and is now recovering.”

It does appear that, although Mills doesn't make it clear, Dappy's face-kicking came from the horse; it's not like someone saw him fall off the horse and thought 'well, that's an open goal'.

No word on how the horse is.

It's unclear if this is going to cause Dappy to have to cancel any work he has coming up. Actually, it's unclear what Dappy is actually doing these days when he hasn't been kicked in the face by a horse.

Tourism campaign makes poor choice of singer

There's no shortage of poorly-chosen music-related advertising and marketing campaigns, but the people attempting to turn Ebril into a tourist hotspot have managed to bounce themselves to the top of the list. This constitutes some sort of clanger being dropped:

One of the most recent triumphs for authorities in Erbil, the capital of the semi-autonomous region of Iraqi Kurdistan, had was getting their metropolis named Capital of Arab Tourism for 2014. A schedule of events to draw more attention to the city and to attract visitors has been launched, as has a promotional campaign. But the latter has already run into some controversy.

Local officials have brought in Moroccan-born singer, Samira Said, to perform a song called “Erbil”, in which the musical star, who’s well known throughout the Arab world, praises the locale for its beauty.

Apparently Said was chosen, in part, because she is one of the nominees in the Monte Carlo-based World Music Awards, where best selling artists in each region and in various categories are given prizes. Said has been nominated for her single, “Mazal” and she’s also up for the Best Female Artist prize.

Now, so far, that doesn't sound so bad - Samira Said, with something of a global profile - coming over to sing a song about the joys of Iraqi Kurdistan.

What could possibly be wrong about that?

The same singer, Samira Said, was employed by Saddam Hussein to sing hymns to his regime, the same regime that tried to exterminate Iraq’s Kurds.

Yeah. That's taking "ill-judged" to a new level.