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New York City is getting its own music festival - for the start of October in a couple of locations and with a glittery line-up (and Oasis). Gang of Four, Rilo Kiley, Pixies, Mando Diao, Belle & Sebastian... lots of lovely things. And Oasis. It's going to be called Across The Narrows.
If the Foo Fighters are coming to Britain to do a bunch of gigs, we're not sure who's going to be ensuring that Frances Bean's money is being redirected while he's in the UK. Perhaps he'll have to take on staff. Anyway, these are the few foo nights:
December: Birmingham NEC - 11th
Glasgow SECC - 12th
Manchester MEN - 14th
London Earl's Court - 17th
There's probably a small, glass-fronted office block somewhere in LA which houses a staff who do nothing but work with P Diddy on his legal affairs, both criminal and civil. The civil offices will be rushing to deal with a new lawsuit right now: Gregory Hilderbrand is suing Daddy claiming he ripped off his It's A Lifestyle slogan. As with so many copyright and trademark beefs, it's curious how the lame the idea at the heart actually is.
While it's sad but not entirely surprising that Madonna has apparently got David Beckham and Victoria Usedtobeaspicegirl to at least look into the possibility of joining her spiritual pyramid selling scheme, we were hugely amused at the MSNBC perspective:
"If it’s true that she has recruited them, it’s a huge coup. They are the most important people she could recruit in Great Britain outside the royal family."
That was the opinion of cultnews' Rick Ross, who may know a lot about Cults but doesn't really seem to have much of a grasp on the pecking order in the Britain of 2005. Victoria Beckham can't persuade people to spend £1.99 on a CD, she's hardly likely to get large numbers of people to sign up for the scientology-with-string scheme that is Kabbalah, and David would struggle a little to get third seat on A Question of Sport at the moment. The days when they were the golden couple are so long passed it's harder to believe that Walkers wanted them to do crisp ads rather than that they accepted. In fact, if Madonna wants to get people down to her 'church' by recruiting famous faces, she'd be better off getting Rebecca Loos down the Kabbalah centre...
There would be something slightly dignified if the Kaiser Chiefs really did do as Ricky Wilson suggests, and quit after two albums, but the history of rock music suggests that the early dart lays not in the hands of the artists, but rather in the gift of the record label. Mind you, that they're already so dry of ideas they're re-releasing Oh My God might suggest that Wilson's dreams of establishing a secondary career in fitness videos may yet come his way.
That's the explanation for what you find if you Google on rapper Nick Cannon's name, apparently (he's dating Christina Milian, so you might be able to picture her if not him). It's not that he's ever worked in gay porn; it's all a wacky coincidence:
"There's a porn star named Nick Cannon; he's a gay porn star. Do what you do, but if you Google that's not me. I'm not that one.
"Sometimes it's the things you've got to deal with in this business."
Ben Dover, from the Wu-Tang Clan, and The Game's crew member Randy McPokemeharder could only agree.
We had hoped it was all some sort of glorious spoof, but, no, the struggle against filesharers is really going to be underwritten in part by a charity golf day. Yes, you might have thought that since the persecutions and prosecutions are being done to keep EMI and Sony BMG and others happy, they'd be digging into their own pockets to fund them. But, it seems, the main frontline in the battle against piracy is the £3,750 it costs to sponser an umbrella at the event, and the 675 quid it costs to have your name on the longest drive trophy. (oh, if only we were cash-rich enough to muscle out way into this sponsorship deal...)
You'll recall, of course, that one of the arguments used by the RIAA-BPI against peer to peer networks is that it gives the wrong impression if people are able to get some music for nothing - why, then they will think that all music is worthless and should be free. This rule does not apply, it seems, to people who play golf for the record industry, as they are able to get free stuff without being corrupted:
No one goes away empty handed, as every guest is presented with an excellent 'Goody Bag'. Last year's contained new release DVDs, CDs, clothing and merchandise worth at least £100.
Perhaps golfers just have a higher resistance to drawing conclusions than us mere mortals?
[Story taken out onto the greens by NTK]
Last week, Damon Albarn made some half-funny remarks about making Pete Doherty history - apparently cribbed from Private Eye front pages, as Anthony pointed out in our comments section. Despite being the first coherent remarks Albarn has come out with in ages, Damon has now decided to attribute them to a made-up friend:
"There are four members of Gorillaz and I'm not one of them. It's not even my big mouth that's got me into trouble.
"The fact of the matter is, I would never lash out at Pete Doherty like that. Are we really listening to cartoons now?"
It's quite charming when a six year does something wrong and tries to blame it on his imaginary friend. When a grown man does the same thing, it's slightly creepy, like when ventriloquists start to really believe their dolls are living, breathing things.
In what has probably been one of the most disrupted series of gigs ever, what with bands cancelling and bombs going off, The Tears have cancelled their Somerset House show due tonight in London. It's not clear why. Let's hope they're not fighting again.
Now that she's chosen a name for him - Johnny Natchez Jones Riddle - Cerys Matthews has been talking a little more about her new son's birth. Apparently, going to see The Stereophonics brought on labour - and we can appreciate that, if we were trapped in a confined space and discovered we had to listen to them, we'd be fighting to get out, too. Birth took place in the Matthews kitchen, which we're not sure is entirely hygenic.
Thank god for people like Senator Barbara Boxer - taking a brave stand against peer-to-peer file sharing. Thank god someone is thinking of the children:
“Peer-to-peer file sharing is affecting children’s morality and well-being by giving them access to pornography and encouraging the everyday theft of music.”
After such a wonderful job the whole of the rest of the internet has done in keeping pornography off it, what a pity that p2p has ruined it for everyone by suddenly introducing pictures of naked bottoms and Danish men with beards coming to fix young women's plumbing. But at least Barbara is aware of the dangers of loose morals in young people. What would she say, for example, about a senator who had received nearly three quarters of a million dollars from a group with an interest in closing down p2p networks, who then went on to call for the closure of those networks without mentioning that she was in the pay of those organisations to such an extraordinary extent? Because that sort of corruption of the democratic ideal is really immoral, isn't it, Barbara?
Back before we had the internets, when I was young and striping between being carefree and fretworn, new music and friendship used to rely a lot on the postal service and penfriends. I was blessed with a network of what Smash Hits used to call birobuddies who had massively brilliant ways with the mixtape, and one of them (with whom I'm still in contact, and for the purposes of this post will call by her screename of Sashina) introduced me to no end of excellent, life-changing acts - she brought Bradford to my attention when i'd filed them under "another Morrissey-approved act who can be safely ignored"; she also hit me with tapes that would spark love of the Snapdragons, Sugargliders, Man From del Monte, the Lucksmiths and This Is Serious Mum. All of which is an overlong, Sunday lunch, two-way family favourites way of introducing Martin Scorsese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow, another new MP3 blog which takes a name from TISM's finest moment, a hymn to the delights of the film director from back in the day before he started turning up at the Oscars wearing the sort of glasses which my dead Grandfather would have dismissed as making him look too much like a guy passed over by early days of the NHS.
The blog is aiming to provide mp3s of stuff which isn't easy to come by to beg, steal or borrow (TSIM being a case in point) - which almost comes close to breaking the compact most mp3 bloggers work under these days: how can you claim to be promoting the purchase of material which it is impossible to purchase? Let's hope the RIAA leave him alone. All power to Tsimselfstorage. (Not, we'd guess, the name his mother calls him by). Oh, and if you're reading this... any chance of Dole Boys on Futons sometime?
No, we're sure that David Gray has only the best motives for attacking the Live 8 bands:
Gray believes most artists taking part didn’t have genuine reasons for appearing, saying: "It's a garish sight to me to have people who don't know what they are talking about, patronising their audience about changing the world. I don't believe in soundbite politics."
Gray says he would prefer to pay more tax so governments would have greater funds to tackle poverty. He argued: “Otherwise where does this money come from? World leaders? Do they go to the special 'world leader' pot and get the money? It's just… ridiculous."
Perhaps its just as well that David didn't play Live 8, then, if he thought it no place for Soundbite politics as, really, that seems to be exactly what he's indulging in here. And, like so many on the Hyde Park stage, he seems to have elected to go lurching off on a subject that he himself knows bugger all about - an almost Daily Mailesque fretting about 'where will the money come from', as if the rich nations are so short of cash that redirecting a couple of tenths of one percent of GDP is going to cause serious problems for highly developed economies; and as if the only solution is to give more money in aid anyway. You can almost hear the sigh in his voice - "okay, we'll pay an extra tuppence in tax to dig them Africans out their hole again..." - missing the point that debt cancellation and redrawing trade rules isn't about passing a big collecting tin around.
Which reminds us... we were a little surprised to see an advert for the "official" Live 8 book ("Foreward by Bob Geldof") in the papers at the weekend promising "For every copy sold, £5 will go to Live8" - as if Live 8 was, itself, a charity of some sort, raising money to do good works, rather than a concert promoter with a cash problem. Let's hope nobody gets fooled into thinking that buying the book is going to help people in real need...
The death has been announced of Ibrahim Ferrer, one of the voclaists with the Buena Vista Social Club. Ferrer - known for his cap and greying moustache - was one of the team of Cuban son musicians recruited by Ry Cooder for his 1999 album and took a role in the film which followed the CD. Subsequently, Ferrer had been creating a solo career, winning a Latin 'newcomer' Grammy in 2000, at the age of 73.
Born in Santiago in 1927, Ferrer's career started back in 1941, singing with a string of top bands including that of Pacho Alonso. It was Alonso's move to Havana in 1959 which persuaded Ferrer to relocate to the island's capital. He had retired in the early 80s, but was persuaded to return to the stage to take part in Cooder's project. In his words:
"An angel came and picked me up and said, 'Chico, come and do this record.' I didn't want to do it because I had given up on music. But now I have my own record, my first one ever, so I'm very happy. I don't have to shine shoes anymore."
We're not sure if he was hoping to have a Lamacqian Richey Manic moment or not, but there does just seem to be something a little calculated about Pete Doherty's body-slashing moment, done for the cameras filming a BBC THREE documentary:
Film maker Greg Roselli told us: "It was very disturbing. Pete was in a highly agitated state and frenziedly attacked the cameraman several times.
"Then he dragged a shard of smashed beer bottle deeply down the middle of his chest and started to play with the river of blood that flowed down. It seemed to calm him down. Like it was a relief.
I don't think Pete's suicidal, he's too bright. But accidents do happen. He's so tremendously self-obsessed and insecure that he can't seem to see what's going on around him."
Of course, Pete's gripped in some sort of psychological mashing - you might wonder if it's entirely helpful to be filming a documentary about someone who craves attention that badly; if he must go on BBC Three, he'd be better off having Tanya Byron try and sort out his toddler temprament. But at the same time, the fact he's traipsing off down a Richey/Iggy route makes it hard to muster much in the way of sympathy for him, unless perhaps his psyche has been perfectly ruptured in such a way as to make him feel compelled to behave in a rock star cliche fashion.
We're not sure quite why the Staffordshire Police are planning to take their facial recognition software to this year's V Festival:
Police at the festival in Weston Park, Staffordshire, will use an intelligence database linked to CCTV cameras to scan the site and return facial matches.
"The safety of V Festival fans is of utmost importance to us," said V Festival organiser Andy Redhead.
Now, we could understand - just about - if they were doing this at an event which has a record of trouble (Leeds Festival style, perhaps), or if there was a real and credible threat of disruption by an organisation whose members were known to the police. But it doesn't seem to be the case here:
"This year's Staffordshire V Festival will be the biggest yet, with over 70,000 people set to attend," said Chief Inspector Jon Drake, from Staffordshire Police. "Violence of any kind will not be tolerated. A small minority of offenders will not be allowed to spoil the weekend for the tens of thousands of law-abiding music fans."
What they're not saying in the reports is who, exactly, they're going to be looking out for. If there is a serious threat, shouldn't we be told? And if there isn't, should there be this trawling?
If we were Ashlee Simpson, we'd be keen to try and forget the whole Saturday Night Live farrago, and concentrate on her career as, um, whatever it is she actually does. But, oh no, she now thinks she has something to prove, and is keen to get back on. Of course, she proved something the last time she was on - not merely that she was miming (no surprise there) but that she lacked the basics of professionalism and to cope with something bad happening. It wasn't the miming, Simpson, it was the way you flapped and then run off leaving your backing band to carry the can.
We've had a note to ourselves to bring you a link to this - frankly, astonishing - pair of screen grabs for a while, but have never quite found an excuse to shoehorn them in, so we'll just go with it now: Spizzazzz had a post last May about Kelly Osbourne's extraordinary CD:UK appearance - not so much a push-up bra; more heavy lifting equipment. The question 'what the hell was she thinking' was probably answered when she slunk off the rehab not long after. The photos are safe for work, but not your psyche.
And while we're talking of other music blogs, the growth in the number of mp3 blogs shows no signs of slowing down (did we read this week that there's a new blog created every second now?) and, thankfully, lots of them are pretty good, bringing a range of music you wouldn't find together elsewhere - hats off to Something Old, Something New and Sex Kittens Compare Scratches.
In order to do something or other - god alone knows what - Robbie Williams hopes to find twenty-five lookalikes. Although, presumably, if you were unfortunate enough to have born looking like him (and, by extension, as if your father had been a third-generation in-bred troll and your mother has a little minatour somewhere in her ancestry) you would either never leave the house for fear you would be bundled into the back of a waggon as part of an unreconstructed circus sideshow, protesting "but I am not an animal" every mile of the journey; or else would be spending all your time faxing, emailing, phoning and writing to the makers of Extreme Makeover offering anything (money, sex, spare bodily organs) to get on the show.
Following on from the Uncut 'mostest influential' poll, BBC News Online have been inviting their readers to share the music that changed their world. (Sit down, BPI, not share like that). Some of the entries are pretty smart:
Oops I Did It Again by Britney Spears changed my world. It was after that song that I fully realised the horrific consequences of mass-marketing on the Western world.
Some are pretty much your standard Simon Bates does Our Tune:
"Will You?" from Breaking Glass, sung by Hazel O'Connor. The words are so beautiful and the saxophone solo incredibly haunting. Absolute class.
And some are just plain wrong:
How can you all leave Billy Idol out? He changed everything in the 80s with his music and MTV! And like the Stones, he's still touring. Rebel Yell!
If there's one bunch of joyless uptights more dour than the RIAA, it's the various Olympic bodies around the globe who employ squads of people ready to jump on any infraction of the hallowed Olympic trademarks, lest anyone confuse the four-yearly marketing event with, for example, a good-natured sports event. Latest to feel the wrath is the band Olympic Hopefuls. The band's Darren Jackson hoped they could sort something out:
"Our initial thought was like, 'Well, what if we offer to play at every Olympics for free?' But they didn't think that was too funny," Jackson said. "Then we considered legal action, but we dropped it pretty quickly when our lawyer told us the law was very clear-cut and we were clearly in the wrong."
So the Olympic Hopefuls were forced to shed the "Olympic" from their moniker, and press on as just "the Hopefuls." While Jackson is a bit bummed out by the sudden change, he pledged that he'll continue to keep at least one aspect of his Olympic past alive: For the immediate future, the band will continue to perform in its tracksuits.
We can understand that, technically, yes, they were in breach of the US Olypmic Committee's trademark. But does the USOC really believe that people might buy tickets for a small indie gig in Minneapolis because they really thought they were going to be going to the Olympics?
The Annual Billboard-Arun R&B and hip hop awards have had a glittery prize giving (they're like the Source awards, only without the stabbings):
Album: "The Massacre," 50 Cent
Single: "Let Me Love You," Mario
Artist: Usher
Male Artist: Usher
Female Artist: Alicia Keys
Duo or Group: Destiny's Child
New Artist: The Game
Singles Artist: Usher
Albums Artist: 50 Cent
Rap Album: "The Massacre," 50 Cent
Singles Sales: "I Believe," Fantasia
Singles Airplay: "Let Me Love You," Mario
Hot Rap Tracks: "Drop It Like It's Hot," featuring Snoop Dogg and Pharell
Songwriter: Alicia Keys
Producer: Jonathan "Lil' Jon" Smith
Major Label: Interscope
Independent Label: TVT
A list so totally devoid of surprises or much in the way of interest we had to weight it down with a housebrick to stop it floating off.
We don't know if this says more about the armed forces than it does about Ozzy Osbourne in 2005, but amongst the booths at Ozzfest dates in the US are army and marine recruting tents. You know how it is, you plan a trip to see the Sabbath, have a couple of drinks, and before you know it you find yourself in Basra trying desperately to fill in a couple of gaps in your memory...
And we thought the Osbourne family had gone too far when they signed up to do ads for Asda/Walmart.
Two depressing little facts, which make us despair more than they should: Coldplay's X&Y reaches double platinum in the US (that's two million) while Mariah Carey's We Belong Together has now been US number one for ten weeks.
One of those stories which seems to be all over the place at the moment: Brandon Flowers has quietly got married to his truelove Tana Munblowsky. Munblowsky apparently manages an Urban Outfitters in Las Vegas. The idea was to have a quiet affair, away from the gaze of the press, although somehow the detail about Elton John having been desperate to go found its way into the public domain.
There's been a great deal of excitement over the possibilty that Prada - who make more expensive versions of the clothes you can buy in any highstreet store - might hire Kasabian to be their new models. Kasabian's spokespeople are playing it down slightly:
"There has been a lot of talk about an advertising deal with Prada, but the lads are considering their next move before committing to anything. They do hang out with a lot of models and people from the fashion world - which is where the idea must have come from."
This sounds to us like the hope a slightly more rugged company will come forward and snatch them up. Mind you - "they do hang out a lot with models" - what the sort of buggery is that meant to mean? It has echoes of Mr. Lister's "I know architects and doctors, Reeves", if you ask us.
When I was a lot younger, we used to view the kid from up the road with a bit of pity, as his sole ambition was to reach the age of 14 so he could go into pubs with his Dad. But at least he was only twelve years old at this point (this was back when kids at least waited until they were at least teenagers before developing alocholism). But Avril Lavigne is twenty, which makes her desperation to turn twenty-one a whole lot sadder:
"I'm going to have a big bash in Las Angeles. I'm not sure whether I'll do a show or just have a huge party.
The weekend after, I'm going to take all my friends to Las Vegas because I'll be old enough to go in the casinos. It's going to be awesome!"
What makes it even sadder is that Avril only wants to go to Vegas in order to see Celine Dion.
Vodaphone-pushing artrock ahoy, as the Dandy Warhols come for mini-prance around the more-densely populated areas of the UK:
Glasgow Academy (October 23)
Manchester Ritz (25)
London Hammersmith Palais (26)
Liam Gallagher has laid down the law - clearly he's enjoying there being someone more unreliable and out of control than he is - insisting that Babyshambles will never get another chance to support Oasis:
“That’s where the relationship ended. What we’re not going to do is give him a second chance.
“It’s not a question of professionalism. It’s much more simple than that. This is the greatest group in the world and what we’re not going to do is let anyone, Pete Doherty, Liam Gallagher or Elvis, fuck it all up.”
Elvis Presley was not available for comment.
