Hey, the packet doesn't say Amy Winehouse Wig

Not ones to let a cruel, young death stand in the way of a wacky Halloween outfit sale, at least one branch of Party City still thinks it would be a hoot to go to parties as Amy Winehouse:

Classy.

Gordon in the morning: Nobody wins with mental images of a naked Liam Gallagher

Why would Gordon Smart even want to put this image in anybody's mind?:

[Liam Gallagher] added: "The Poznan dance, it's great. I do it when I get up in the morning, when I'm in the shower. Brilliant."

Is the idea of a lumbering, soaped-up Liam part of Gordon's pro-Noel campaign? Or is this part of a peace deal with Liam, gently introducing the UK public to the possibility that Gallagher has embraced a personal hygiene routine? Who can be sure?

Downloadable: 4AD sessions

4AD have done this, a compilation of some of the best tracks from their special sessions. You can also buy it as a vinyl record, should you wish to:

We might have some bad news for you, Coldplay

Chris Martin says he's not bothered about relevancy:

I don't really care anymore about being relevant. I'm just happy to be with that group of people. We're very fired up and we're very focussed and the people who want to enjoy our music, we love them and we welcome them. In terms of where we fit in? I don't care.

It's heartbreaking, isn't it? It's like when you see UKIP candidates in parliamentary elections and you think 'however awful you and your beliefs are, it's almost touching that you believe you're part of the actual political process. Bless you, you little, rabidly wrong sweetheart.'

When, exactly, did Martin think that Coldplay were "relevant"? And relevant to what? The only thing Coldplay have ever had an influence on was 'bands that sound like Coldplay', and at no point in recorded history has 'shaping a Snow Patrol rehearsal session' ever counted as 'being relevant'.

Gordon in the morning: Last one to Vegas

Gordon Smart is shaking with mirth:

TUBBY funnyman Johnny Vegas is expecting a few laughs — as he strips off to recreate the famous photo of pregnant Demi Moore.

Oddly, Smart doesn't seem to know that the picture is years old. Or perhaps he does, and just didn't want to have to admit it was taken for The Guardian.

REM: The sidewinder sleeps tonight

Rather like the policies from the 2010 Liberal Democrat manifesto, the big surprise about the REM split is that they were still officially supposed to exist.

Although they sometimes nudged a little too close to U2 for comfort, and the odd 'behaving like twonks on airplanes' incidents not withstanding, they did just about pull off being massive without being massive asshats.

Although imagine if they'd used Dead Letter Office as the end point of their career. Blimey, how much would we have loved them then?

Still, that's it for REM, although God has confirmed plans for a massive natural disaster in 2016 which will necessitate a reunion to headline a benefit gig. "The plans are at an early stage" explained God, "but I am developing a fire-breathing locust."

Tomorrow, everything changes...

Or, more likely, won't much, but there's just one more sleep before Facebook launch their music service.

At a guess, it'll be a bit tricky to use, and will rely on the sheer traction of a massive user base to build popularity for a less-than-perfect service. Like everything else on Facebook, in other words.

All-new Guided By Voices next year

The big secret is a secret no more: There's a new album by the classic Guided By Voices album, and it's only a few short months away.

I'm saying "few short months" in a bid to try and make it seem like it won't be a long, aching wait.

James Greer has heard the record. James, is it worth waiting for?

I can say that I’ve had the honor and privilege of listening to the album for a few weeks now, and that it can best be described as… uh… hold on… let me think… okay: flipping genius.

January. That's just four months. Four months.

Q is 25 years old

And to celebrate, it is producing 25 different covers - which is one for every reader they have left, I think.

Quick hint, Q - if you're looking to mark a quarter century of taste and discernment, this...

... might not be the way to flag that message.

People want to own, not rent, says retailer

Some interesting research from eMusic, which reckons it proves that people still want to own records - or at least mp3s - rather than stream:

Top line stats from the eMusic research, which questioned 1000 music fans (some eMusic users, some not), include that 91% said they preferred to own tracks because there were no limitations on listening, while 86% said they felt ownership offered more security, ie tracks aren’t likely to randomly disappear. 76% said they used streaming services to discover and sample music that they might then buy, and, presumably as a result of that fact, 74% said they wouldn’t pay to access streaming platforms.

What eMusic don't reveal is how far the desire to earnown dwindles as you head towards younger respondents - the assumption has always been that the so-called 'digital natives' have seldom bought physical product and, thus, would be more comfortable with the idea of not having a digital collection. You suspect if the findings had overturned this conventional assumption, eMusic would be making a bit more of it.

[UPDATE: Typo "earn" for "own" corrected]

Gordon in the morning: You're fired

In order to help with her cosmetics range, Nicola Roberts is doing some research:

NICOLA Roberts is about to start taking Alan Sugar to bed with her.

The Girls Aloud star has bought the mogul's book, What You See Is What You Get, to become more business savvy.

I'm no business expert, but I'd suggest that not taking advice from the bloke who created the Amstrad Emailer would be a pretty fundamental business tip.

Kelis racist incident suddenly moves a few hundred miles south

The incident that Kelis reported on Twitter where she was racially abused in a London airport? It now turns out she was in Spain:

"Just to clarify, because apparently there's been some confusion, I was in the UK (as always) this time for Bestival (which was great)," she wrote. "I took a flight from Gatwick (airport) back to Spain so for those fact checkers that is approximately a two and a half to three hour flight.

She added: "I landed in Spain and that's when the fat pink faced British guy who was on the plane with me called me a slave and (told me) to call him sir. It was at passport control. I didn't think to make that clear at the time because I was shaken and furious. Now you know."

You'll note the dig at "fact checkers", by which she means those tiresome types who, erm, pointed out that her story wasn't straight.

Now, it's fair enough that you might be angry and annoyed and tweet something opaque - but Kelis had already returned to the subject once when challenged on her sweeping statements about racism in the UK, and neglected to mention the important location of the alleged incident.

And it does make a massive difference to the story whether this happened in London or Spain - part of the complaint was the man behind the passport control counter merely repeated the first bloke's "Kunta Kinte" jibe as if he was amused by it. If you're building an argument about how racism is rife and undiscussed in the UK, using the actions of a Spanish civil servant as part of your evidence would seem to undermine your case somewhat.

[Thanks to Peter D in the comments]

Sinead O'Connor not having a good time

I'm not an expert in therapy, but a session in which your patient is so upset by what you say to them they go home and start tweeting about how they'd like to kill themselves seems a bit of a failure, doesn't it?

That's what happened to Sinead O'Connor last night, who appears to have been made so guilty over talking about sex in public that she took to Twitter to muse about how she might kill herself if she could do it in a way that her children didn't notice. Sounds a bit like it's the therapist who has the issues they need to work through more than O'Connor.

Feds claim Universal label offices used for drug dealing

There's an idea that Guy Hands didn't think of during his time at EMI: using the label offices to ship drugs.

According to DOJ documents published by The Smoking Gun, Interscope, part of the Universal collection of labels, was sucked into the heart of a multimillion drugs shipping outfit when its offices were used as a hub:

Department of Justice prosecutors this week provided defense lawyers with shipping records detailing “pickups and deliveries” made at Interscope’s Los Angeles office by a cargo firm that was used to transport the music cases, which were alternately stuffed with kilos of cocaine and upwards of $1 million in cash.

A year-long Drug Enforcement Administration investigation has resulted in the indictment of James Rosemond on 18 felony charges, which could result in a sentence of life in prison for the 46-year-old rap music manager.

There's no suggestion that the label itself was anything other than an innocent patsy in the operation.

Gordon in the morning: Even he doesn't believe this one

Even working for News International, there must be times when Gordon Smart pauses and thinks "this made-up bollocks is beneath the standards of our organisation". Today must have been one of those days:

EVER since Brad Pitt starred in Snatch as gypsy slugger Mickey O'Neil, smashing up Gorgeous George, he has had a soft spot for the traveller community.

So much so, he now wants to make a movie about Big Fat Gypsy Weddings tough-nut Paddy Doherty.

Smart must know that absolutely everyone who reads this will think "Brad Pitt is never going to make a film about Paddy Doherty. Ever." Perhaps Google has created a filter that will flag up a story without any actual truth in it, and Gordon wanted to see what how it works.

Gamely, though, he even has a crack at casting:

After Brad's turn in Guy Ritchie film Snatch in 2000, he would be perfect as Paddy.

Mickey Rourke or Sly Stallone could convince too. Or for a cheaper option, Brad could call Wolf from Gladiators.

Or why not Mike Tyson? He'd be about as convincing as this story is.

Stone Temple Pilots fall silent

Stone Temple Pilots have axed their US tour halfway through; Scott Weiland's vocal cords are almost literally in pieces. If they pressed on with this tour, he might never be able to sing again. And that would be a bad thing. (Stone Temple Pilot's perspective only.)

Bookmarks - Internet stuff: Protest pop

Fennerpearson offers a thoughtful post about about mixing pop and politics:

Chris’s view was that the pop song – and, to cut a long argument short, [the PJ Harvey album] *is* a pop album – was not the right vehicle to discuss war. Although Chris is a headmaster now, he was once an English teacher, so – impressed by my own improvisation – I riposted with the world war one poets. It transpires, however, that they *agonised* over whether it was appropriate to record the horrors of war in a contrived form.

Victoria Newton: A kind of homecomng

Those of you who have been reading No Rock for a while will remember that back before Gordon Smart's dismal showbiz coverage, Bizarre was the awful kingdom of Victoria Newton. Her high spot was having to run a humiliating apology to Nigel Martin-Smith after she ran Robbie William's lyrical attack on the man.

More recently, she'd been plying her trade at the now-defunct News Of The World. But unlike some other staffers there who were offered jobs in the middle of nowhere, Newton has been given a job right at the heart of Wapping. She's now going to edit the Saturday edition of the paper. Virtue, clearly, brings its own reward.

Elton dumped and fuming

Hell hath no fury like a fabulous celebrity scorned. Elton John was supposed to go on a dinner date with a banker, Spencer Lodge.

Not in a skulky, behind David Furnish's back sort of date. This was one that Lodge had bought in one of Elton's charity auctions.

But it turns out you can't trust Lodge. Imagine that - a banker who doesn't stick to his word. The money never turned up, and now Elton is pursuing legal action:

[A] source close to Sir Elton said: ‘Both David and Elton, and everyone involved with the EJAF are really angry about this.

‘Elton is not personally hounding the man and demanding the cash, but he is fully supportive of the legal proceedings to benefit the charity,’ the Daily Mirror reported.

I love the reassurance that Elton isn't personally turning up at Lodge's house, yelling through the letterbox.

[Thanks to Michael M]

Kelis hates us so much right now

It is, of course, wrong and unforgivable that an idiot at an airport had a go at Kelis. The Mail's coverage doesn't actually help, either:

American singer Kelis has launched into an angry Twitter tirade against Britain after she was allegedly subjected to racial abuse in a London airport.

The 32-year-old was waiting at passport control at one of the capital's airports when she was apparently labelled a 'slave' by a middle-aged white man.

The Mail's standfirst - which is all most of its readers will have read before leaping down to the comment forms - neglects some of the fine detail which appears further down. The "disgusting Nigerian" comment, for example, which is just horrible.

I think we might have to take issue, though, with Kelis' decision to use this one incident as an exemplar of race relations in 21st Century Britain:

'I didn't say anything at the time of the riots in London for a lot of reasons. But I am in London all the time and today I'm gonna say that the racial issues in the UK are disgusting.

'Its racially decades behind progression because everything is swept under the rug. People don't talk about it. People don't fight about it. Not mentioning a problem doesn't make it go away.'

Hmm. So, Kelis could have said things at the time of the riots, but didn't. Perhaps because the riots and looters were from a wide range of backgrounds?

I'm sure the organisers of Love Music Hate Racism, or RISE, or Kick Racism Out Of Football, or all of the other groups fighting racism in all sorts of fields will be surprised to hear that there's no fighting against xenophobia; likewise, given how often the Mail runs stories about how much "political correctness" there is in the UK, with its going mad all the time, I doubt the right would entirely recognise a Britain in which casual racism doesn't create a storm.

There's too many people like the guy behnd Kelis at the airport. And I don't think we can deny her right to be pissed off and angry. But later on, when people responded "aren't you American? Isn't there a bit of a problem there, too?" she ploughed on:

'[Americans] are the poster child for racial inequality even still with a black president. But its NO SECRET! And that I can fight against. I can try to prepare and teach my son. Because its out there. But you can't fight for or against something no one is willing to talk about or even admit exist.'

Isn't pretending the British don't talk about racism a bit... well, of lazy stereotyping?

[Thanks to Michael M]

Gordon in the morning: Justin Bieber has a life plan

It's a bit like being a careers teacher or something, as Gordon hears Justin's hopes for the future:

"By 25 or 26 I want to see myself, like, married or start looking for a family."

It's odd that he says "start looking for a family" rather than "starting a family", almost as if he expects that he'll have to collect the pieces. Like Doctor Who stickers.

UKIP about to get knocked down again

I know they're just the BNP, but played for laughs, but who at UKIP thought it would be a good idea to use Chumbawamba as their conference theme song?

Former singer Dunstan Bruce is fuming over the politician's unauthorised use of the pro-anarchy song and admits he will consult lawyers if it continues.

He tells Britain's The Guardian, "This song being used by Ukip is so wrong. I am absolutely appalled that this grubby little organisation are stealing our song to use for their own ends. It's beyond the pale and if they use it again we will consider legal action."

Chumbawamba star Alice Nutter adds, "If ever there was gross misuse of a band's music this is it."

It was Chumbawamba, Farrage. Why would you think that there would be common ground?

Mind you, can you really defend a song about anarchy by going to the courts?

Cliff's law

Of course the copyright extension in recorded music has gone through. But there is one small thing we can do. We can still name it:

A spokesman at one body sounded pained when I referred to the "Cliff Richard law".

"Think of the hard-up session musicians not Cliff Richard," he told me, claiming that thousands of struggling artists would now be guaranteed a pension.

This is, naturally, bollocks, as most hard-up session musicians are hard-up because they have their rights bought out when they make the recording.

But the idea that calling the theft of half-century old records from the public domain "the Cliff Richard Law" upsets the copyright industry makes it imperative that we always, always call it the Cliff Richard Law.

This week just gone

The most-read pieces last week:

1. Video: Mary Magaret O'Hara - Peanuts
2. Tatu can't understand why everyone thought they were gay
3. The Popjustice £20 Music Prize
4. Video: Mary Margaret O'Hara - When You Know Why You're Happy
5. Jessie J has never heard of PJ Harvey
6. AC/DC remain off iTunes
7. Just Can't Get Enough - Thirty years on
8. Gordon Smart goes to the GQ Awards
9. Pixie Lott says her music is her own
10. Kasabian eat microwave rice


These were the interesting releases:


Stephin Merritt - Obscurities

Download Obscurities



The Drums - Portamento

Download Portamento



Male Bonding - Endless Now

Download Endless Now



Kittie - I've Failed You

Download I've Failed You



Grouplove - Never Trust A Happy Song

Download Never Trust A Happy Song



Julie Fowlis - Mar A Tha Mo Chridhe

Download Mar A Tha Mo Chridhe



Eliane Elias - Light My Fire

Download Light My Fire

Gordon in the morning: Kasabian are packing

A couple of paragraphs about what Kasabian eat on tour. It might make something to pad out a fanzine, if it was a very large one. Or - if you're Gordon - it's a news story:

Serge Pizzorno said: "We've got Uncle Ben's fried rice, stir-fried rice, noodles and baked beans. It's like a tuck shop.

"It's 2am, we're starving, so we'll knock on Marty, our security guy's door and he just goes 'Come in' and you sit around the microwave. It's pretty special."

Mmm. That is so interesting.

Eddie Vedder crowdsources DCMA takedowns

You know what's hard? Keeping an eye on everywhere on the internet, to see if someone is breaching your precious, precious copyrights.

What, though, if you could unleash the power of your superfans? That's what Pearl Jam appear to be doing, with The Ten Club issuing takedowns against someone who stuck up a snatch of Vedder playing live.

What a great scam - you charge people $20 to join a fan club, which then gets deployed as a private copyright police force. Dave Cameron should speak to Ed and see if he can bring some of that magic to community support officers.

Guy Hands tries to grab EMI back

Given his strategy when in charge of EMI was throwing money away down pointless black holes, it's not surprising that Guy Hands is intending to doggedly fight on to regain the corpse of the label.

He's now chasing a bee that thinks that maybe all the outstanding debts that Citi were calling in had, in fact, been properly serviced:

Hands believes that all payments on debt had been maintained up until Citi took control in February, although EMI was expected to break a test of its banking covenants at the end of the first quarter.

That seems like the sort of detail that Hands should (a) be certain about and (b) have been certain about back during the first test. If you're relying on EMI to flog your records or pay your royalties, you're going to have to hope that Hands just pisses his cash away on lawyers.

Alan McGee laughs as the world burns

Long-term friend of this blog Alan McGee has been sharing the benefit of his insight into the modern world of music with The Australian.

Shall we listen in?

“I don’t really like music,” he said, adding that considering that people in the industry were “drug-addled” and he’d grown tired of them. “With music it’s never enough for anybody… everyone wants to be Jagger or McCartney. As you grow older, it’s bullshit, you’re not that.”

Alan McGee was thirty six when he helped bring Be Here Now into the world. So clearly he must mean you have to quite a bit older before you realise that shouting drug-doused donkeys isn't that interesting. Thank god he's reached 50 and finally worked that one out.

He explained that in his time away from the industry not much has caught his attention. In fact, outside Glasvegas and The Libertines he wasn’t fussed on much these days.

Yeah, if you want an example of band that doesn't have any sense of a singer with a drug-addled Jagger complex, The Libertines would be exactly the sort of thing you should go for.

Still, McGee knows the struggles of being a small label owner, so perhaps he'll drop his grumpy old sod persona when asked about the PIAS fire?

“I read that the Sony PIAS Building burnt down. I’m probably the only person who thought that was funny. I call that a result. Got rid of all the shit music. And you get paid for it, the stuff you couldn’t sell.”

Oh.

What a contrarian, right?

Indeed, when asked about the comments later, McGee even trotted out a defence which even included that last refuge of the boring old fart, the "I'm not afraid of being politically correct" line:

I hate Sony, if the Sony building burnt to the ground again as it did, I’d say that was a result, I think it's funny. Loads of shit music getting burned, I think it's great, and I'm sorry if that’s not popular and if that's not PC, but fuck PC, that’s what’s ruined England, not being able to say what you think; sorry, but I do, and if you don’t like it go fuck yourself.

Let's just try and stop our eyes rolling for a couple of minutes to squeeze in one last quote - because as well as standing by his oh-so-brave assault on PC, he also claims all the other things he said were just ignored:

The British media have tried to ignore what I think. They took the statement, they weren't even there; come down here and basically take what I said out of context, which was basically taken from 5 or 10 seconds from a 30-minute chat, but I don't back off it, there’s loads of shit music and if it gets burned so what?

Perhaps they only took those few seconds because everything else was boring, confused garbage like how all music is rubbish apart from The Libertines?

[Thanks to Michael M]

J unaware of PJ

There's been a bit of a fluster over Jessie J's revelation she doesn't know the work of Polly Jean:

When asked to comment on PJ Harvey’s win, the ‘Price Tag’ and ‘Do It Like A Dude’ star confessed that she’d never heard of her, but vowed to explore her back catalogue after the interview, asking, “Is she good then?”

Is it really so surprising that a 23 year-old didn't spend a lot of time listening to classic era John Peel? I'll bet she doesn't know who Silverfish were, either.

Wasn't the point of the Mercury when it launched - alongside promoting the now-defunct Cable And Wireless domestic telephony service - to introduce people to music they might not otherwise have come across? Isn't that job done?

Nick Lowe responds to a point on BBC Breakfast

"Simon Cowell says that the X factor is about the only place you can see music on television"
"Did he say that? That's delusional, really."