Saturday, November 02, 2013

BPI, RIAA ignore licence terms on their website until it's pointed out to them

Interesting: copyright farmers the RIAA and their remote-controlled UK equivalent the BPI have been caught using code on their websites which violates the licences of that code.

TorrentFreak has been poking about in the source:

The websites of music industry groups RIAA and BPI also use infringing code.

On both sites we found open source JQuerys scripts that are released under the MIT license. This license permits any person or organization to use, copy, modify, merge, distribute, or even sell copies of the software. There’s only one condition users have to agree to; that the original copyright notice stays intact.

Ironically, the scripts used on the RIAA and BPI websites have the copyright licenses removed.

BPI uses the depreciated template script jQuery.tmpl.min.js, and as can be seen below, yesterday there was no reference to the MIT license or the copyright holder listed at the top of the file.
Oddly, after TF contacted the RIAA, the copyright line appeared magically on the RIAA and BPI sites.


The 1975 have a pop at Borrell

Hey, Matt Healy, we don't come down your factory stealing your work, do we?

Asked by The Guardian whether he worries about success turning him into a "complete wanker", Healy replied: "No, I don't. We're not worried about becoming a bunch of wankers because the people who become wankers were always gonna become wankers. Johnny Borrell is a wanker because he's a wanker, not because Razorlight got massive."
There's two problems with this thesis - first, Razorlight got fairly big, but a large portion of their status comes from it being incredibly useful to have a one-man punchline to hand. You can't let something like that slip through your fingers. In part, Johnny Borrell is well-known because he can be a bit wanky.

Secondly, while it's true that Borrell might have been wanky without having had a number one single over half a decade ago, can we be sure that he would have reached his peak wankiness without selling a few records to Ocean Colour Scene fans who'd decided to try to get themselves girlfriends?

If Borrell had, say, followed a career path to become an under-manager at a branch of Marks And Spencers, do we really believe he'd have his shirt off and a pair of white jeans on, pulling the 'battery hen Mick Jagger diorama' pose whenever he saw a camera? Seems unlikely.


Thursday, October 31, 2013

Fred Durst moves on to second TV series

There's no denying that Fred Durst is a pretty hot property in television right now. Why, before CBS have even aired a single episode of his much-ballyhooed sitcome Douchebag, he's off and busily developing a drama series.

While Douchebag, the sitcom that never made it to screen, was loosely based on Fred's life as a man who was too old to be doing what he does even when he was doing it back then, the drama - The Noise - will be loosely based on Fred's life.

Yes, The Noise. Oh, it's not even an open goal, is it? It's like he's putting the balls on the goal line, and then leaving the field entirely. THE NOISE.

Actually, it's not quite the same series - Douchebag was about a cartoon rocker who was trying to adjust to family life, while The Noise is about someone fleeing to cartoon rock to escape family life.

If the series is ever picked up, there will eventually be an episode where the Durst character pitches a sitcom based on his life.

It's CBS who will be looking at the script and wondering if it's best to just ask him to come back with a pitch for a quiz show based on Durst's life sometime round 2015. Presumably called Rockerz.

[Massive thanks to @Pedro_Dee for the tip]


Churches scoop Popjustice Prize

If they're over in one part of London praising the "best" album of the year, that means elsewhere, Popjustice will be hosting the annual £20 Popjustice Music Prize for best single.

They are better at choosing singles than the Mercury people are at choosing albums, as this won:

Luckily, nobody called them Crutches or anything, either.


Mercury Music Prize 2013 hit by awkward name embarrassment

There was an awkward moment during the live televising of last night's Mercury Music Prize, with a slip-up being made around the winner's name.

"It was mortifying" explained one of the judges. "We tried to say the name 'David Bowie' but somehow it came out as 'James Blake', who is, of course, quite a different person.

Seriously, you can understand Lauren Laverne accidentally muddling her nice-chap-but-dull-musicians up, because they have pretty similar names. All she did was replace "ake" with "unt" - admittedly, that would have been terrible if Cake had been the winners.

BBC World News' coverage of the prize last night ended with the optimistic claim that Blake can now expect a higher profile and a rise in sales. You could hear Speech Debelle's "huh" from this side of the Atlantic.

Blake has pledged not to piss the £20,000 prize money for Overgrown up a wall. But then he does have the aura of a man who has a portfolio of ISA investments, doesn't he?


Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Grimes defends playing in Russia because Putin wasn't going to go see her anyway, or something

With Russia an increasingly intolerant place to be bisexual, gay, lesbian or anything else non-Putin-approved, it was something of a surprise to see Grimes happily booking a date there. She has thought it through, though:

response to twitter criticisms of the show in russia

Yes, I am playing in Moscow in 2 days and no, i do not feel bad about it. I don’t think that denying and ignoring the gay community in russia is cool. I have gay friends in russia and the only strait person on the Grimes team is james as far as i know lol.

We are entering safely and it means the world to me to be returning 2 russia. It doesn’t hurt the government if I refuse to tour there. Just regular people. So i don’t think it’s wrong to be doing this. Refusing to go to russia would only hurt fans

also - this is a private event. fans should know that ill be back for a bigger show when i finish the record that will be open to the public

siiick so stoked! cya soon ^_^

<3

Ah, it would hurt "regular people" to not play the gig which, erm, isn't open to regular people anyway. That's pretty clear.

Do we need to run through once again the way cultural boycotts work, or can we just assume that Grimes understands but doesn't accept the idea that when nations behave in unacceptable ways, you don't just pretend it isn't happening?

Grimes: very much the Paul Simon of her generation.


Jonas Brothers: They split

The most striking thing about the Jonas Brothers split is the video of the Jonases: looking for all the world like junior chief executives, the question was surely how they'd managed to keep things together for so long.

They didn't look like a band who had creative differences with each other; they looked like a group of people who had differences with the very idea of being creative.

It wasn't the end of a pop group; it was the release of three trapped people back into the community.

Let's wish them well.


Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Katy Perry calls for pop stars to keep their clothes on

Katy Perry, talking to NPR, is starting to wonder if we're not seeing too much of some people too often:

And a lot of people see me as a role model but I’d like to kind of turn that around and say I appreciate that but I’d like to be seen as an inspiration. Because a role model, I think, will fail you. I mean, I couldn’t tell kids when it’s time for them to try things or do things. I mean, that’s not my role. But, you know, it’s funny. I do see myself becoming this, whatever, inspiration out of default right now, ’cause it’s such a strange world. Like females in pop – everybody’s getting naked. I mean, I’ve been naked before but I don’t feel like I have to always get naked to be noticed.
"I've been naked before" is something of an understatement from a woman who once shot whipped cream out of her bra.
I’m not talking about anyone in particular. I’m talking about all of them. I mean, it’s like everybody’s so naked. It’s like put it away. We know you’ve got it. I got it too. I’ve taken it off for – I’ve taken it out here and there. And I’m not necessarily judging. I’m just saying sometimes it’s nice to play that card but also it’s nice to play other cards. And I know I have that sexy card in my deck but I don’t always have to use that card.
It's good, I guess, that Perry is able to at least pre-empt the raised eyebrow by flicking through her previous photoshoots, but it still has the air of McDonalds chiding Burger King for selling junk food.

"I've obviously sold burgers, but it's good to know I don't have to sell burgers all the time" said Ronald McDonald, pointing to that one time a kid actually went for the carrot sticks.


HMV launches plans to defeat iTunes; realises it needs iTunes to be part of the plans

So, although it looked like it wouldn't make it through to offer confused elderly relatives a place to buy not quite the right CDs for the young 'uns this Christmas, HMV has survived in some form. Shrunk down, owned by a group known for restructuring; historical debts erased. Now, at last, the chain can focus on its unique selling point - being the only place you can go to buy recorded entertainment left standing. Right?

Hang on, they've just announced the completion of their image makeover. What did you guys come up with - something about your stores, right?

HMV has overhauled its online presence with a new, more editorially-focused site as it looks to re-exert its brand authority and customer experince through online channels.
Oh. Really? You're still thinking your a business which really has a future in being some sort of chatty webmagazine with some 'buy' buttons attached?

Why would you think that?
HMV chairman Paul McGowan said: “Everything we’re doing with HMV is focused on engagement, content and curation – all the things that HMV lost sight of in recent years.

“The passion within the business for the products we sell, the specialist knowledge and ability to recommend and guide our customers – from store staff to the team in head office – is second to none and the new hmv.com. brings that to the forefront.”
Did you ever go into an HMV before you bought the company, Paul? With all the best will in the world, nobody would ever have gone into an HMV store to ask musical advice from the staff, any more than you'd expect to get agricultural advice from the people who restock the dairy counters in Tesco. That's not to say that there weren't some HMV assistants who weren't passionate about music, but those that wee generally would have advised you to shop elsewhere.
The brand has recruited an editorial team to manage the site, while staff across the company’s chain of 142 UK stores will also be encouraged to contribute with content.
Given the PR disaster which followed HMV staff retaining access to official HMV channels that's quite a brave move.

However, at least this is something that you've fully thought through, right? It's not in any way a ragbag of half-formed ideas with a promise of better things to come, is it?
HMV general manager Caroline Pesch said: “As a hub for entertainment, a key element of the site is the sense of community and ease of use for finding local and relevant information. In addition to editorial features and reviews store staff can post their own picks and tips based on what’s happening on a local level. This is just phase one of the new site; as it develops we will be introducing lots more new and exciting functionality. The volume of content available will grow daily.”
Oh. Nothing says 'some stuff got written on a white board, and we think someone took a photo, and we're pretty certain there's something there we might be able to turn into some sort of web feature when we work out what the bloody thing says' like a vague suggestion that something "new and exciting" is coming in the future.

There's also an app, which Wired has heard all about:
[James] Coughlan, who was previously involved in building up Vodafone's digital music business, is first to admit that HMV has in the past "not really embraced the digital world in the way it should have done".
Yeah, that was Vodafone's digital music business that he built up. Because music is the first thing you think of when you hear Vodafone's name. Well, first thing after you've thought 'oh, the company that pretends its legally obliged to pay as little tax as possible'. And 'irritating bee commercials'. And 'spun off a military business'. But then, surely, you'd start to think about Vodafone's music.

There is, to be fair, a Vodafone Music twitter feed, which hasn't had a message since October 2nd. Erm, October 2nd, 2009. And vodafone.com/music just redirects to the Vodafone homepage. You can find out about Vodafone music, though, by searching on the site:
Vodafone Music has now closed
Vodafone Music is now closed, so you won’t be able to download any music from us anymore.
That's a pretty solid business built up there, then.

Never mind, though, James is now bringing his magic to HMV:
"What we're doing here by bringing a digital offering to market is we're amplifying what HMV's renowned for," he tells Wired.co.uk. "I see this lifting our physical business as well, because you probably are going to have experiences where you're in store and you're scanning physical products and the digital version may be a couple of quid higher than the physical copy you've got in your hand."
Interesting. The idea of having an app which appears to tell you that HMV's pricing policy is all over the place. Not entirely sure how advertising that your digital downloads are overpriced is really going to help, but you can't fault the honesty.

Still, Coughlan is at least dedicated to the idea of digital music. Isn't he?
Coughlan still believes that nothing really compares to holding a physical record
Oh.

But... he can at least tolerate the digital world, presumably?
"I fully support streaming and I think what it's done for the music business has been good. It's certainly ticked the box for the labels in being seen to act on what was going on over the last ten years with the likes of Napster and illegal downloads and doing their own education with the youth audience as to actually there is a value to music."
I'm not sure that sentence actually contained proper thoughts, so it'd probably be churlish to point out that Napster - the illegal version - closed down well over ten years ago. And that, arguably, streaming has done far more to undermine the traditional music business model by replacing the sense that music is a thing you collect and own than filesharing ever did.

Wired does praise something Coughlan has managed to arrange:
HMV has also managed to strike a deal with Apple that lets users download songs from the app straight into their iPhone's music library -- a first for a service other than iTunes.
Brilliant, right?

Except, almost as soon as the app launched last week, it vanished from the iTunes store. It turned out that if there was a deal with Apple, it fell apart pretty quickly:
Apple confirmed to The Guardian that the app was removed for "violating App Store guidelines", pointing to clause 11.13 in those guidelines: "Apps using IAP to purchase physical goods or goods and services used outside of the application will be rejected".
Early days for the fightback, though. And HMV does still have some stores on the High Street. Apple can't take that away from them.

Although a couple of the shops might be well placed for flogging iPhones from...


Monday, October 28, 2013

Lou Reed: A quick round-up

The front page of USA Today this morning records the passing of Lou Reed:

'Underground' visionary dies at 71
The quote marks round underground probably a reflection that underground artists tend not to get front page coverage on their passing.

(Also: when someone is about to be buried, probably want to use word other than 'underground' to describe them.)

A lot of writers struggle to describe Reed's style - obviously, you know it when you hear it, but when you're trying to capture that for future generations, how do boil it down? The New York Times' Ben Ratliff attempts to pin it to Lou's early days deviating from doo-wop:
Not too long after his first recordings, made at 16 with a doo-wop band in Freeport, N.Y., Mr. Reed started singing outside of the song’s melody, as if he were giving a speech with a fluctuating drone in a New York accent. That sound, heard with the Velvet Underground on songs like “Heroin” and “Sweet Jane” and in his post-Velvet songs “Walk on the Wild Side,” “Street Hassle” and others, became one of the most familiar frequencies in rock. He played lead guitar the same way, straining against his limitations.
In the LA Times, Randall Roberts opens by admitting that, actually, it's all been said before, and much better, and more succinctly:
Those looking for one version of Lou Reed's life need look no further than to the late critic Lester Bangs, who presented a particularly harsh, if affectionate, take on the artist's story in a single sentence.

"Lou Reed is the guy that gave dignity and poetry and rock 'n' roll to smack, speed, homosexuality, sadomasochism, murder, misogyny, stumblebum passivity, and suicide, and then proceeded to belie all his achievements and return to the mire by turning the whole thing into a monumental joke ...," wrote Reed's longtime sparring partner Bangs in 1975.
It doesn't stop Roberts from having a go at adding to the pile himself, though:
Reed was the snake with the apple, bringing into rock's lexicon new thematic temptations — "Venus in Furs," "I'm Waiting for the Man," "Lady Godiva's Operation," "The Gift" tackle harsh truths — and fresh textures of noise.
Over at Slate, the occasion of Reed's passing is seen as the perfect moment to try and slap a label on his sexual orientation:
Soon after Lou Reed’s death at age 71 on Sunday, Rostam Batmanglij of Vampire Weekend tweeted that the legendary rock star was “maybe the first out songwriter,” an allusion to his purported bisexuality. During his lifetime, Reed was famous for his sybaritic pursuits and unorthodox lifestyle. But was he bisexual?
This piece is headed "Was Lou Reed the first openly bisexual rock star?" That the piece doesn't earn its question mark by considering if there were any earlier openly bi musicians pretty much undermines its whole point: if you're asking a question if someone was an out bisexual, then pretty much not out. Reed, specifically when asked by Lester Bangs about bisexuality, said this:
The notion that everybody's bisexual is a very popular line right now, but I think its validity is limited. I could say something like if in any way my album helps people decide who or what they are, then I will feel I have accomplished something in my life. But I don't feel that way at all. ... You can't listen to a record and say, “Oh that really turned me onto gay life, I'm gonna be gay.” A lot of people will have one or two experiences, and that'll be it. Things may not change one iota. ... By the time a kid reaches puberty they've been determined. Guys walking around in makeup is just fun. Why shouldn't men be able to put on makeup and have fun like women have?
That quote, by the way, taken from the Slate article itself.

Clearly Lou had sex with lots of people, and didn't use gender as starting point. But equally clearly, he never chose to identify himself as bisexual. Ergo, he wasn't the first out bisexual rock star.

The Daily Mirror dips into Twitter to round-up reactions, and it's possible they read some of them before publishing, too:
Comedy writer David Quantick tweeted: “RIP Lou Reed. This, by him with John Cale, is one of the most beautiful things ever made.”
They don't have the video, or even a link to it. Without which, it doesn't make much sense, and does mean that the Mirror has effectively left Quntick as saying 'RIP Lou Reed'.

This is how that tweet should have looked:

Still, that's not the worst thing about the Mirror's coverage; while most Twitter reaction is lobbed onto a single page, one expert commentator's tweet gets a whole page to itself:
Lou Reed: Simon Cowell tweets that he is "so sad" to hear about death of music legend

Cowell's tweet followed another on his account which read: "you realise without great people you have nothing"
Having Cowell's opinion on Lou Reed is like hearing from a persistent stain what it feels about Persil.

Alexis Petridis in The Guardian tries an opening which is, in effect, a get-out-of-jail for any following overstatements:
When a famous rock star dies, there's a natural tendency among fans and journalists alike to overstate the late figure's importance: the former out of grief, the latter because it makes better copy.

In Lou Reed's case, that's almost impossible to do, just as it's almost impossible to imagine what rock music might sound like had the Velvet Underground never existed.
Almost impossible to overstate...
Elvis, Beatles and Dylan fans might be wont to disagree, but there's a compelling argument that their 1967 debut The Velvet Underground And Nico is the single most influential album in rock history. Certainly, it's hard to think of another record that altered the sound and vocabulary of rock so dramatically, that shifted its parameters so far at a stroke.

Vast tranches of subsequent pop music exist entirely in its shadow: it's possible that glam rock, punk, and everything that comes loosely bracketed under the terms indie and alt-rock might have happened without it, but it's hard to see how.
... but let's give it a go anyway.

Rolling Stone also really, really rates that 'and Nico' album:
"Produced" by Warhol and met with total commercial indifference when it was released in early 1967, VU’s debut The Velvet Underground & Nico stands as a landmark on par with the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and Bob Dylan's Blonde On Blonde. Reed's matter-of-fact descriptions of New York’s bohemian demimonde, rife with allusions to drugs and S&M, pushed beyond even the Rolling Stones’ darkest moments, while the heavy doses of distortion and noise for its own sake revolutionized rock guitar.
Oddly, last year Rolling Stone was able to think of twelve better albums when compiling its greatest albums of all times. But of course Reed hadn't just died at that point. (It did allow it was bit better than Abbey Road, although not as good as Rubber Soul, and nowhere near Sgt Peppper.)

So, a lot of use of the word "dark", quite a bit about sex, a sudden elevation from 'fairly influential' to 'pretty sure he invented music, if not metal and also machines'. Reed always was a difficult person to nail down without breaking out Capstan-strength cliche.

The award for the worst piece of writing on the day of his death, though, must go to sportal.com.au, in its rugby league coverage:
Tenuous links to the World Cup
Lou Reed's death was felt by distant relative (we think) Jack Reed. The Brisbane and England centre (Jack, not Lou) was ruled out of the World Cup due to injury.
Even allowing for the admission of a tenuous link in the headline, that makes no sense at all.


Sunday, October 27, 2013

Legendobit: Lou Reed

It took me a while to warm to Lou Reed - probably because The Velvets were always spoken about in such hushed tones by the little-bit-older boys it was kinda off-putting.

(And the idea of warming to Lou Reed is a bit like cuddling a salt-lick in the first place.)

But one Sunday afternoon, listening to On The Wire, Fenny played a song, and I was riveted.

For me, New York will always be the definitive Lou Reed album. And this is why:


Lou Reed Dies at 71: Rolling Stone

[From five years ago: A Weekend In New York]


Saturday, October 26, 2013

Rolling Stone pretends to misunderstand that not all doctors are medical

When Rolling Stone put an alleged terrorist on its front cover to illustrate a perfectly reasonable current affairs story, there was an outrage-bundle so huge you could see it from eight miles away.

However, when Rolling Stone does this...:

As if he hadn't already proved it countless times with his surgically precise songwriting and the healing power of his gift for melody, Elvis Costello can now call himself a doctor of music.
... nobody seems bothered.

Despite the fact that Rolling Stone knows full well that while doctorates and medicine can overlap, they're not exclusive.

And despite the more pressing fact that "his surgically precise songwriting and the healing power of his gift for melody" is perhaps the worst sentence anyone has ever written about music, ever, in the history of ink and noise.

It is such an awful sentence that local police went round to check on the writer, James Sullivan, assuming that the words had been arranged as some sort of desperate cry for help. "It appeared at first" explained Sheriff Madeupski, "that Mr Sullivan was being held against his will and being forced to write about Mr Costello's honorary degree from a Boston school, and tried to signal this through his opening words. Upon investigation, though, it was discovered that he was merely being menaced by a tight deadline and a news story that had no real interest beyond a few alumni of the New England Conservatory."


Thom Yorke challenged over consistency

Thom Yorke, as we all know, despises Spotify. Not quite enough to pull Radiohead music from the service, but certainly enough to keep his less-lucrative side projects away from it.

Writing on Hypebot, though, Eliot Van Buskirk points out an even odder inconsistency in Yorke's position:

Do you know which on-demand services pays less than Spotify per stream, and doesn’t even include a premium version for people who might be willing to pay (although there have been weird rumblings about that)?

YouTube. And Thom Yorke’s Atoms for Peace music is all over that on-demand music service, including in the above video, which includes the entire Atoms For Peace album. XL Recordings, Atoms for Peace’s label, has official versions up there as well.

The last time we ran the calculations, the musical force of nature Psy (remember him?) made about a third of a cent per view from his monetized music on YouTube.
[...]
one recent estimate put Spotify payouts to one artist at .4 cents per song.

In other words, regardless of who owns it, Spotify pays out more than YouTube. The two numbers are closer than one might imagine, considering that over six million people pay for Spotify, and nobody pays for YouTube, but there they are.
Curious.


Michael Jackson: the never-ending battle for his money goes on

The latest person to pitch up to the Jackson estate, writ in hand, is Quincy 'you would have hoped that he was above this sort of thing' Jones, who reckons he's being diddled out of his due:

He says the singer's estate and Sony Music Entertainment improperly re-edited songs to deprive him of royalties and production fees.

Mr Jones says they also broke an agreement giving him the right to remix master recordings for albums released after Jackson's death in 2009.
The Jackson estate are trying to wave it away:
"To the best of its knowledge, Mr Jones has been appropriately compensated over approximately 35 years for his work with Michael," a statement said.
Interesting gambit. "He's been earning money for the work he actually did over three and a half decades; now it's time for us to earn money from something we weren't even involved in for the next four", in short.

Jones is looking for six million quid, or thereabouts. No lawyers at all could be reached for comment, as they were all out shopping for speedboats and gold-encrusted everythings.


Friday, October 25, 2013

Macca chats to Lennon

Apparently Paul McCartney tries to talk to John Lennon when writing new songs. Which is more than he tried to do when John Lennon was alive, so that's the healing started, then.

"If I'm at a point where I go, 'I'm not sure about this,' I'll throw it across the room to John," he says. "He'll say, 'You can't go there, man.' And I'll say, 'You're quite right. How about this?' 'Yeah, that's better.' We'll have a conversation. I don't want to lose that."
It's possibly true. You could imagine a ghostly Lennon nodding earnestly as Paul showed him, say, Dance Around, encouraging Macca to rush down to the studio and record the thing.

And then turning and laughing his spectral heart out at persuading Paul to chip further away at his reputation by pumping out more subpar twaddle.

On the other hand, maybe McCartney's head his post-1980 output, and is simply trying to blame Lennon for making him do it.


Noveltyobit: Manolo Escobar

Manolo Escobar - whose death has been announced - probably deserves to be known as something more than just the bloke who did Y Viva Espana.

To be honest, Y Viba Espana probably deserves to be remembered as something more than just a novelty hit. It's interesting how Escobar's obituaries just glide over how the song was released as Spain was shifting from fascist dictatorship to parliamentary monarchy. A song about letting your hair down and celebrating the joy of being on holiday might reek of cheap sangria and straw donkeys, but a joyous celebration of life lived lightly in a nation which was stepping out of decades of right-wing extremism and extra-judicial killings actually carried more meaning than that. It was novelty, certainly, but not just of the cheap holiday souvenir variety.


To remember just that one song, though (and in the UK, it's probably more recalled in the more tipsy cover version by Sylvia Vrethammar) neglects the rest of his fifty-year career, swapping between Andalusian copla, Spanish pop and a bit of acting as well.

Manolo Escobar was 82; he died Thursday after being ill with colon cancer for some time.


Thursday, October 24, 2013

Who over

I know it's an era ending, but it's rather strange to see the NME describe The Who announcing that they'll wind up after their 50th anniversary tour as "quitting". Yeah, only doing a half-century. Fucking lightweight quitters.


Lights Over Paris to become bloke over in B-wing

So, Michael Jackson is making cash by simply being dead. That wasn't an option for Robb "TaLLLLL" University, from the band Lights Over Paris. He came up with a better idea: scamming banks.

The banks never asked how come a man from a minor band appeared to have assets worth USD8million, and so happily loaned him USD11million against those assets. The assets didn't exist; he's been found out.

What makes things worse is that after he'd been caught, and entered a guilty plea, he went out the very next day and tried to raise more money using forged documents.

Unsurprisingly, he's heading off to prison now.

One of the things he did with the ill-gotten gains was buy "a tourbus in the shape of an airplane". That sounds impractical apart from anything - wouldn't the wings get in the way?


Michael Jackson: Doing very nicely, thank you

Not only is the dead Michael Jackson making more money than any other dead celebrity, but he's making more cash than any living pop star, too, according to Forbes.

You know that somewhere, right now, a manager is pulling an anguished face and saying to a fading singer "well, if you really wanted to maximise your earnings potential..."


Sunday, October 20, 2013

Twittergem: Capsule review


I think I know this one, right? Fogged off?

Oh.


Collateral damage

Presumably because it would incompatible to edit The Scottish Sun and present a show on XFM, Gordon Smart is ending his radio programme.

It never got any clearer how being the editor of The Sun's showbiz section and doing a stint on what still pretends to be an alternative radio station made sense, but let's just move on and pretend it never happened, eh?


This week just gone

To mark the launch of his book, here's the most popular Morrissey stories. Or at least the ones that his name appears in the headline. Jesus, who would have time to go further than that?

1. Morrissey "not racist", says Morrissey [2007]
2. Morrissey sells tshirts promoting Barack Obama [2008]
3. Morrissey meets Tim Jonze; tells him "in England you have no idea where you are" [2007]
4. Liveblog: Morrissey on The One Show [2009]
5. David Letterman ruins Morrissey's throat [2007]
6. Morrissey uses Poly Styrene's death as excuse for dreadful interview [2011]
7. Morrissey fans call for Letterman boycott over spare ribs joke [2007]
8. Morrissey cancels dates [2009]
9. Smiths reunite. Without Morrissey [2005]
10. Morrissey takes on a TV chef [2006]
11. Morrissey collapses on stage in Swindon [2009]
12. Morrissey compares Norwegian killing spree with McDonalds menu [2011]
13. Morrissey shares his views during the London riots [2011]
14. Morrissey turns up to help The Boyfriends' career [2006]
15. Morrissey says sorry… to the Arctic Monkeys [2006]
16. Support band makes small joke at Morrissey's expense; kicked off the tour [2007]
17. Huntingdon Life Sciences respond to Morrissey [2006]
18. Morrissey announces plans to sue the NME [2007]
19. Marr says he's too busy with other emails to talk to Morrissey [2009]
20. Morrissey describes the Chinese as a "subspecies" [2010]

These were the interesting releases:


Kitchens Of Distinction - Folly


Download Folly



Tindersticks - Across Six Leap Years


Download Across Six Years



Cults - Static


Download Static



Four Tet - Beautiful Rewind


Download Beautiful Rewind



Polvo - Siberia




Gary Numan - Splinter




Depeche Mode - Should Be Higher


Download Should Be Higher


Saturday, October 19, 2013

Pink finds a rule allowing for food to be eaten

Pink's normally quite close to a real person, which makes stories like this disappointing:

Pink gorged on cheesecake and chicken wings during her pregnancy.

The 'True Love' singer loved being pregnant with her daughter Willow, now two, because it meant she could indulge in her favourite fattening snacks without feeling any guilt.
Really? Because under which circumstances should you feel guilty for eating food? Is it only when you're pregnant is there this surprising get-out, or are there other circumstances?

"I've got a veruca - that means I'm able to have cheese on toast without the need to attend confession."

"Having just been a bus crash, I can either trade that in for two pounds of sausages, or a piece of millionaire shortbread - without declaring either on my income tax form."

"Papercut! Jane, send for doughnuts and tell my solicitor to prepare the exemption paperwork."

Later in the interview that Contactmusic is quoting from, Pink does say that she loves her food, but not before a lot about how much exercise she did to get back "into shape" after the birth of her kid.

Because god forbid you just enjoy being a parent and don't worry about your abs for a few months, eh?


NME oversells products

What's this, NME?

Dinosaur Jr have launched their own clothing line.
Really? J Mascis has been up all night fretting over hemlength, has he?
Frontman J Mascis has teamed up with New York clothing company Mishka for a range of band-branded beanie hats, T-shirts and jackets.
Ah, so when you say "launched their own clothing line", you mean "put some band merchandise on sale."


Countryobit: Marc Trovillion

Marc Trovillion, once bassist for Lambchop, has died.

There's a statement from the band:

As he often liked to say, Marc was a charter member of Lambchop. The band’s origins can be traced directly to his Nashville bedroom, where Marc, Kurt Wagner and original guitarist Jim Watkins first got together in 1987 for weekly practices, equipped with only a Casio keyboard, an amp and a mic strapped to the bedpost.
No matter where Lambchop might have been — in smoky practice sessions, packed into a 15-passenger van, or playing the great concert halls of Europe — Marc’s steady, solid bass playing and his innate sense of humor served as the glue that kept Lambchop together. “Buddie T,” as he was known by friends, supplied the band with a steady stream of jokes, off-the-wall stories and whatever beer could be found close to hand. Along with helping to define the band’s sound, he also made his own contributions to Lambchop’s recorded output, including “The Theme From the Neil Miller Show,” the closing track from What Another Man Spills.

Listen to any Lambchop recording up through Is a Woman, and that’s not just Marc’s bass playing you hear — all around the notes, you’re hearing his freewheeling spirit, his love of music, food, drink and people. Though Lambchop eventually swelled to include more than a dozen members, and though Marc himself stopped playing regularly with the band after he relocated to Chattanooga a decade ago, that spirit has always remained a guiding force — and it will continue to as long as Lambchop is a band.

Marc leaves behind a son, Hatch; two brothers; his mother; and all of us who loved him. He will be dearly missed. For those who would like to honor Marc’s memory, a trust has been set up for his son Hatch. Checks can be made out to the Marc Trovillion Legacy Trust and mailed to 825 Kirkwood Ave., Nashville, TN 37204.
Marc's AllMusic Biography is written by the estimable Eugene Chadbourne:
Frankly, the decision to start off by mentioning that this artist is a co-writer of a track entitled "I Sucked My Boss's Dick" is pure sensationalism, flirts with obscenity, and will probably be personally embarrassing to Nashville bassist Marc Trovillion. Yet it is a winning alternative to describing him as a rhythm section player from a city where that species is as common as discarded pine cones in a forest.
Marc Trovillion was 56.


Friday, October 18, 2013

Noel Gallagher has some views

GQ has decided that Noel Gallagher is its Icon Of The Year.

No, I checked, it's definitely from this year. It's unclear what Noel has done that is iconic this year - maybe he had a hand in the death of Thatcher that we shan't discover until the Thirty Year Rule reveals its secrets.

As a thank you to GQ, Noel has given them half-an-hour of his 'drunk nan at Christmas' worldview. Shall we take a look?

On radio promos: "Why have I got to be there at seven in the morning? Who's listening at f***ing seven in the morning? C***s, that's who's."
Perhaps if you weren't fading into pantomime damery, they'd give you a slightly better slot, Noel?

It's interesting that Gallagher seems to have abandoned his man of the people act here; the obvious response - 'those cunts are the ones who get up at six thirty to go out and work to earn they money they spend on seeing you play your stupid Union Jack guitar' - has eluded him.
On the Brit Awards: "You can be sat at a table with a load of people from an insurance company. 'Where you from? Classical label?', 'No. AIG.' 'Well, what the f*** are you doing here?'"
Noel, you've gone to an event organised by that major record labels to sell their products. Who do you think own those labels? Are you assuming they're some sort of mutual organisation? They're owned by shareholders; most of those shareholders will be insurance companies and pension funds and investment banks.

Those people are your bosses. Your role at the Brits - and, really, have you not worked this out after all these years? - is to be a dancing bear for the people who underwrite your career.

I really hope someone from the AIG team leaned over and said "these are the 2013 Brit Awards - what the fuck are you doing here?"

And Noel has a thing to say about books, too:
I only read factual books. I can't think of... I mean, novels are just a waste of f***ing time. I can't suspend belief in reality... I just end up thinking, 'This isn't f***ing true.' I like reading about things that have actually happened. I'm reading this book at the minute - The Kennedy Tapes. It's all about the Cold War, the Cuban Missile Crisis - I can get into that. Thinking, 'Wow, this actually f***ing happened, they came that close to blowing the world up!' But... what f***ing winds me up about books...

...is, like... my missus will come in with a book and it will be titled - and there's a lot of these, you can substitute any word, it's like a Rubik's Cube of shit titles - it'll be entitled The Incontinence Of Elephants. And I'll say "What's that book about?" And she'll say, "Oh it's about a girl and this load of f***ing nutters..." Right... so it's not about elephants, then? Why the f*** is it called The Incontinence Of Elephants? Another one: The Tales Of The Clumsy Beekeeper. What's that about? "Oh it's about the French Revolution." Right, f*** off. If you're writing a book about a child who's locked in a f***ing cupboard during the f***ing Second World War... he's never seen an elephant. Never mind a f***ing giraffe.
On the same basis, I'm launching a class action lawsuit against Noel and The High Flying Birds because there are no birds whatsoever in the band, and nothing particularly high flying about them either. Why didn't he just call the band what it is, Noel Gallagher And Some People Who Have Mortgages.

There's something unsurprising but dispiriting about a songwriter - a fucking songwriter, as Noel would put it - who lacks the ability to even understand the concept of metaphor. At all. A songwriter who cheerfully admits he lacks imagination.

This, then, is GQ's icon - a man happily ill-equipped for his job, and too stupid to realise it.


Thursday, October 17, 2013

There is a title that should never come out: Morrissey - The Autobiography

You spoke in silhouette (but they couldn't name you).

Much excitement today, with the release of the Morrissey autobiography. It's like Harry Potter for the middle-aged; only Harry Potter took several hundred pages to be convinced of his greatness.

Yes, shops have opened at midnight, presumably for people who were afraid that Mozzer: My Struggle might vanish at the first striking of daylight.

The whole bunch of stunt around the launch, though, has surely done more to chip away at the myth more than any book could burnish it? The tacky pretend-strop of a couple of weeks ago, for example: sure, cheaper than advertising but hardly edifying.

And the decision to release on the Penguin Classic imprint doesn't help. I know there's some argument that this is akin to the revival of HMV for his solo albums, but it doesn't quite work. Penguin Classics isn't defunct; it's an imprint that is still going and (used to) have a high barrier to entry.

Letting Moz onto this list diminishes Penguin a bit, but more importantly shows what a dead ear Morrissey has these days. Behaviour that seemed charming when you're a young man who had just written Meat Is Murder looks desperate when you're older and your last single was Something Is Squeezing My Skull.

Going on the Junior Puffin list would have been funny, the sort of swagger you'd expect. Reviving Ptarmigan, Penguin's quiz imprint - that would have been consistent. Penguin Classics? It comes across as lazy bragadoccio.

Let's not lose sight of what this is: it's a cash-in book for the Christmas market; trying to dress it up as something other isn't going to work.

You might once have been the last of the international playboys, alongside Bowie, Devoto and Eno. Now you're just first on the WH Smith signing table wishlist, with Holden, Saunders and Union J.

Bowie has shown this year, once again, that what marks him out is an endless capacity for reinvention.

Stephen Morrissey reinvented himself once, too, as Morrissey. And thank god he did; nobody would wish The Smiths away.

But that one reinvention was all he had; since then, it's just been relaunching and reworking that one idea. It's like getting William Hartnell with every regeneration, only a slightly more pantomimic Hartnell each time.

So have fun, settling scores and tending the grounds of your own memorial pyre. But your lyrics intrigued because they only half-revealed who might be; why throw away your talent for the occluded autobiography by going for the tell-all?


Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The cycle of life in action

John Merrick was a sensation; he wasn't like other men.

Michael Jackson was a sensation; he wasn't like other men.

Lady GaGa was a sensation; she wasn't like other women.

John Merrick had a terrible life. He left behind a skeleton.

Michael Jackson had a terrible life. He left behind photos of his head all burned after trying to sell soda.

Michael Jackson tried to buy John Merrick's skeleton.

Lady GaGa is trying to buy the Jackson injury photos.

Showbusiness turns; it then turns again.


French and Saunders machine-gun Lulu to death

Maybe not to death.

Who knew that the Cheltenham Literature Festival's big reveal this year would be that French and Saunders once shot Lulu?

They did. With her consent. But it wasn't supposed to hurt:

She was machine-gunned Pulp Fiction-style by Jennifer and Dawn French for singing her hit Shout too loudly.

The comedy duo picked up machine guns to blast the pop star who had blood pellets hidden in her clothes.

Saunders told the Cheltenham Literature Festival: “Lulu had been warned to keep her arms well away from her body when the blood pellets exploded.”

Unfortunately she left one arm a bit too close and she suffered a wound to her arm the size of a £2 coin and twice as deep."
You'll notice that Jennifer there does a bit of classic victim blaming there - oh, if only Lulu had kept her arms still we wouldn't have put holes in her body. What sort of monster are you, Saunders?

At least Canon and Ball only shot their own kind.


Twittergem: Neko Case