No Rock And Roll Fun

WHAT THE POP PAPERS SAY: GLASTO RIP-OFF EDITION:
interesting piece in this week's New Statesman reveals that Toyah, high-priestess of post-punk and self proclaimed believer in wanting to be free is running down the alleyway screaming and shouting very loud over the prospect of foreign people in her neighbourhood - they're proposing sighting one of the government's hypermarket-sized refugee 'welcome centres' in her village. Teletubbies might love each other very much, but Toyah seems less keen on outsiders...

this, of course, when that other great star who rode the tail end of punk, Bob Geldof, has come out as being against the Euro. Bob's been all over the papers like a rash saying that he can't think of a single argument for the single currency, which is extraordinary for a man who crossed a border to find fame and fortune, don't you think? On the heels of Joe Strummer's appeals to people to make sure they stay away from Glastonbury unless they can afford a week's worth of minimum wages for a ticket, and Private Eye engages in correspondence over the irony of EMI now owning Virgin Records, and thus making money out of the reissue of the Sex Pistol's EMI, you have to wonder if there are any punks left who have any integrity left...

talking of integrity, the nme has quietly stuck its cover price up twenty pence this week - before the last big redesign, this would cover the cost of slapping on a glossy cover; now that comes as standard, it's not clear why the Glastonbury Review edition merits a larger entry fee - perhaps its taken a leaf out of Eavis' book, and wants to keep out the riff-raff. Certainly the cover - the back of some bloke and no coverlines that aren't related to the fest - is the equivalent of a forty foot fence...

news: Richard Ashcroft is working on two albums right now, and warns us "I'd sit on the fence for a while if you're going to write me off." Though, of course, it's a measure of how his solo career has flopped so far that the nme headline still refers to him as "former verve man"; dave grohl joined the queens of the stone age for their glasto warm-up, which is on a par with Bill Hicks joining the team of TV to Go; Jack has hinted that the White Stripes might not be around for long - probably the strain on Meg's back is starting to tell; oh good - John Squire is working on an album where he's the only talent. So, not unlike the first Stone Roses album, then; the nme gives as much space to the Entwistle obit as an out of focus shot of Jared Leto; an NME reader jumped on the stage and sang 'Yellow' when Coldplay played the Royal Festival Hall: ("It was terrible, we had to listen to this faceless bloke singing really badly - and then this bloke invaded the stage" a gig-goer wasn't heard to say); Liam Gallagher reckons Oasis are close to greatness - presumably this means they're sharing a dressing room with The Charlatans for that Finsbury Park gig...

on bands: D4 - fifty percent shaggable New Zealand Stooges plus; Audio Bullys - zero shaggability brit dance...

United against The Strokes, it's The Icarus Line, looking like, um, the Strokes after they've muddled their laundry with the White Stipes, apparently the coming together of a fucked-up massive...

Mike Skinner, The Streets aka, chooses the ten track for his special CD - Beenie Man and, um, The Streets are on there...

Ashanti. Who she? R&B rent a voice now striking out under her own banner. Um, and forthcoming Sabrina The Teenage Witch cameo actor...

Did anyone order another Oasis interview? Yammer yammer great words yammer new Wonderwall yammer Brian Molko looks like a cunt... at one point, Liam accuses nu punk acts of looking "scruffy". And they're talking about the Osbournes. Not that they've seen it, but Alan has a mate who's seen an episode. Or at least that bit with The Weather Channel that got shown as the teaser everywhere...

albums: idlewild - the remote part ("they're clearing space for Idlewild in the Tate Modern", 9); the vines - highly evolved ("if the Strokes were John the Baptist of rock, then maybe...", 9); various - all tomorrow's parties 2.0 ("no duff tracks", 7); seagull screaming kiss her kiss her - red talk ("another indispensible band from a far-flun corner of the globe", 8)...

sotw is, we're asked to believe, fischerspooner - emerge ("delirious, unbearable, overbearing"), beating supergrass - never done nothing like that before ("they have, but never quite as well"), and the bellrays - they glued your head on upside down ("you'll find yourself becomming aroused")...

live: muse in Imola ("wonderfully rock and roll"); Icarus line in camden ("can't help but sound nasty"); moldy peaches in leicester ("who needs marshall amps anyway?"; the polyphonic spree in camden ("we defy you not to fall under their influence"); suede ("their dark roots show through") and peaches ("alternates dominatrix techno with PJ Harvey blues-rock moans") at the Festival Hall...

and, finally, your pull-out and toss-away glasto review section: top band - the vines; best trousers - jason pierce; most likely to headline next year - doves; band of the people - the charlatans (does this make the Princess Dianas of pop?); shortest visit - nelly furtardo. There, that saved you £100 and/or £1.70, didn't it?